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You'll Be Holiday Party Ready Thanks To Our Accessories Of The Week List

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We are going make an educated guess and assume that your calendar is full of holiday parties right about now. And while it can seem tempting to go out and buy a sparkly sweater for the occasion, save your money and instead opt for fun accessories to amp up your look.

This week, many of our favorite fashion bloggers were seen with thigh-high boots, festive purses and cozy scarves, perfect for all your Christmas-time activities. Check out a few of the best outfits below and prepare to be inspired.

Courtney Trop's sandals and sunglasses (Image via @alwaysjudging): Wearing head-to-toe black can be so boring, but if you go for cool accessories -- like these reflective sunglasses and patent leather sandals -- you're sure to stand out from the crowd.

BTS yesterday in retro vibes with @sunglasshut #StartWithTheShades

A photo posted by Courtney Trop (@alwaysjudging) on







Francesca García-Miró's Carlo Pazolini shoes (Image via @christinaemiliephotography): There are few things we love more than practical and stylish footwear.

@driftingnomad wearing @carlopazolini shoes • www.driftingnomad.com #vsco #vscocam #ootd #nyc

A photo posted by Christina Emilie {Shields} (@christinaemiliephotography) on







Blair Eadie's scarf and thigh high boots (Image via @blaireadiebee): Could she look any cozier in that scarf? And those boots are definitely on our holiday wish list.

@liketoknow.it www.liketk.it/IGvW #liketkit

A photo posted by Blair Eadie // AtlanticPacific (@blaireadiebee) on







Gabi Gregg's necklace (Image via @gabifresh): This necklace would also look great with a LBD.

From today's blog post: "I’m constantly told by readers and followers on social media that they wish they had my body. It’s meant to be flattering, but really it makes me sad. I’m not flattered. I want to break barriers and help people feel like they can break the rules, not leave them feeling like because they don’t look like me, they have to stick to them. One thing I hear often is “I wish I had your flat stomach!” It’s true that depending on the lighting, angles, shapewear etc, that my tummy can look flatter than it actually is, but I promise it’s there. We shouldn’t feel like we can’t wear body con skirts or dresses because we’re afraid it will be seen, like its mere existence is shameful. In the body positive world, we call it ‘rocking the VBO’ (visible belly outline). Your body is okay." Link in profile to read more + outfit info and pics. @liketoknow.it www.liketk.it/HchS #liketkit

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Natasha Ndlovu's bag (Image via @natashandlovu): We'll take that bag in every color please.



Instagram Street Style Heads Indoors In The Winter

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This week on Instagram we saw beautiful close up shots of braids galore and nail art that would make a manicure enthusiast out of anyone.

Of course, maybe we saw all these shots because what else are you going to do when it's frigid and snowing out besides sit cozily inside? New rule, people: When it's too cold for Instagramming your street style, post close-ups of your beauty and fashion wins.

Scroll down for some winter beauty inspiration!




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Meet Trans Fashion Designer Auston Björkman Of Sir New York

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This is the third installment in a miniseries that elevates the work of up-and-coming queer individuals working in the fashion world. Check back at HuffPost Gay Voices regularly to learn more about some of the designers of tomorrow and the way their work in fashion intersects with their queer identity.

Sir New York is the brainchild of designer Auston Björkman, the first openly transgender designer to emerge on the high-end fashion scene. A crossover brand, Björkman's designs have been seen across the spectrum, from big names in hip hop and rap to prominent drag queens emerging from "RuPaul's Drag Race." Read the interview below to learn more.

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The Huffington Post: What types of clothing does Sir New York tend to produce?
Auston Björkman: I was recently looking back at some planning I had done in the beginning and saw that I didn't even know exactly what to call it -- I was using the term Technical Tailored Sportswear. Complex Magazine aptly named us as the start of "athletic street goth," which I love, but I would say both have something true, in capturing some of the essence of what is in the brand.

What is your focus for Sir New York? Do you specifically intend for your designs to be for the queer and trans community?
No, I never wanted Sir New York to be for any specific type of person. If anything my thinking was way too broad. I wanted all genders -- everyone wears menswear. I wanted to appeal to the boy next door who likes clothes, to the club kids who are all about turning a look, to the fashion kids who pay attention to design. Whenever you study fashion they really try to make you hone in on "your customer." But my vision is exactly what happened, with people wearing my designs like A$AP Ferg, Wiz Kalifa and Detox from "RuPaul's Drag Race" -- who has worn it in and out of drag.

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You're hailed as the first trans male designer to emerge in the high-end fashion scene. What have the reception and your experiences been like?
My experiences in the fashion world have been interesting. It is a very intense and tightly orchestrated industry with billions of dollars dedicated to making you want to look a certain way. It's very hard for the majority of fashion designers ever to even get to this level and I am far from where I ultimately want to be... I'm still very much an "outsider." I think most people don't automatically assume I am trans. Most people only get as far as thinking I'm this odd little gay fashion designer.

The fashion industry has historically been open to all kinds of gender expression and misfits, so I don't think I stand out in any kind of loud way -- partly because that is my nature. I would rather let my work speak for me. I tend to talk about my work and not me, the person. So the positive reception I have gotten from both street wear and high-end fashion has been very much in response to the clothing, the brand and the aesthetic.

I think I have a unique perspective on the gender spectrum. I don't believe in absolutes, nothing belongs solely to masculine or feminine. I like finding subtle balances.



Where have your designs appeared?
Usher came into our pop up shop with Liberty Fairs Concept Space in Los Angeles, copped a grip of the Seahole Future Surf gear and the next day it was on "The Voice." French Montana has also worn it in videos and interviews and I saw my first stranger on the street rocking it, which is strangely a whole different amazing feeling of accomplishment than when someone high-profile is wearing it. Seeing it in print is also really exciting: Vogue Italia, Flaunt, GQ. I don't know, I guess we're getting around a little bit.

Do you have any showcases on the horizon?
Sir New York previewed our AW15 collection and hosted a mini pop-up shop last weekend at dapperQ's "(un)Heeled: A Fashion Show for the Uncoventionally Masculine" at the Brooklyn Museum. "(un)Heeled" celebrated the style of masculine presenting women, gender nonconformists and trans* identified individuals, offering an alternative narrative to the museum's current "Killer Heels: The Art of the High-Heeled Shoe" exhibition.

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Historically the fashion world has been extremely queer friendly -- what role do you think the fashion world has played within mainstream acceptance of LGBT identity?
Fashion has accustomed people to gender bending. We are more open to human expression rather than binaries. People are starting to let go of being uncomfortable about other people being different. Gender is often best expressed in presentation, how you wear your clothes and the swag you have when you feel good about your look. Fashion communicates identity with options.

Want to see more from Björkman and Sir New York? Head here to check out the Sir New York website.

Perfect Party Dresses For Your Body Type

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Carefully selected for the specific body types they suit, these party frocks are made for flattering your figure. In other words, they do all the work so you can concentrate on remembering the name of your S.O.’s out-of-town cousin that you only see once a year, or planning how to make a swift exit from tonight’s party #2 in order to make it in time for party #3. ’Tis the season, and ahead, ’tis the sartorial guide for helping you get through it.

7 Emma Watson Quotes That Will Challenge Your Views On Young Hollywood

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Emma Watson has accomplished more in 2014 than most will in a lifetime. After being appointed a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador, Watson captivated thousands when she launched her HeForShe campaign with a moving speech on feminism in September. In addition to starring in and promoting her latest film, "Noah," the actress also graduated from Brown University with a degree in English literature. As a 24-year-old actress and activist, Watson is redefining what it means to be a celebrity in young Hollywood. Below are 7 quotes that prove it.

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Does Your Style Routine Reflect Your Dream Life?

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Every weekday my father wore a suit to work. His clothing choices for after work and weekends were very ordinary and included jeans, a shirt and casual shoes. If it was colder, he would throw on a sweater.

When he hit his 40s he started taking a month out of his routine every year and would travel all over Great Britain. Each year on the day he returned home from his travels, he was a vision of happiness.

His style choice for his travel-home outfit completely deviated from his daily grind style routine and would include some of the purchases he made during his travels. He loved many English designers, fabric patterns and was a huge fan of English football, all of which he managed to pull together and reflect in one outfit. His style choice allowed for his authentic glow to shine.

The day after returning home, he would return to work and his style routine would go back to what I described in the first paragraph above. His glow faded.

One day he shared with me that if he was let go from his job, he would pursue his dream to open up a pub somewhere in the Lake District in Great Britain. This was quite a different path than the life he had been living up until this time -- he had spent his whole adult life working in and up the corporate ladder in an office setting.

He never was let go from his job. He died at the age of 49.

It has since occurred to me that the style choices that my father made while he was happy during his trips to Great Britain were a reflection of his dream. Let's translate this more generically -- the style choices you make when you are happy just may very well reflect your dream.

Does your current daily style routine reflect your dream life? It's quite simple to answer this by thinking through the questions below.

  • When you look in the mirror before heading out the door each day, do you get an immediate feeling of excitement and joy with your look and the day ahead?

  • Do people comment on your appearance in a positive way and indicate you have a vibrant energy about you?

  • Do you find you are naturally attracting a career, people, places, events and things that bring you a feeling of appreciation, excitement and joy?

  • Do you feel naturally comfortable in what you wear each day?


Are you happy with your responses to the above points? Good for you! Your style routine is most likely in alignment with your dream life. Either you are living your dream life or your style choices are contributing to attracting your dream life.

If you are not happy with your responses to the above points, this is where I strongly recommend that there is no time like the present to transition your style routine to be a reflection of your dream life. By doing so, your style choices will contribute to attracting a career, people, places, events and things that align with your dream life.

Have you ever heard the term "Fake it 'til you make it"? Well, this is exactly what you need to do with your style choices so they reflect your dream.

Here are two steps you can take to get your style routine into better alignment with your dream life. Depending on the environments where you spend your time these days, it may not be possible to wear styles that align with your dream due to expected dress codes. However, try to follow below as much as possible and where you can.

1. Find out and start wearing daily your seasonal color palette - If you are not wearing colors in your hair, makeup, clothing and accessories that are in alignment with the authentic you, it is likely you are looking and feeling dull, worn, outdated, odd, unbalanced and even older.

Here's a great exercise to illustrate what you are doing energetically as well -- put your arm out in front of you with a closed fist. Say the word 'yes'. Now say the word 'no'. Do you notice that your arm wants to pull down a bit when you say 'no'? When you are not wearing your colors, your color choices are reflecting a 'no' vibration out to the universe.

I recommend you have a color analysis consultation and implement the color recommendations from the consult into your style routine.

2. Wear styles that give you an immediate sense of excitement and joy that feel in alignment with your dream life - When you wear things that make you feel uncomfortable, unbalanced and give you a lower energy, you feel out of sorts and not aligned with your core self. This is the feeling you are emitting out to the world around you. You are probably not at your optimal creative and productivity level as well.

Think back to a time when you felt really happy, true to your core self and your dreams. What were you wearing? Like my father, this may be while you were on vacation or perhaps you were at a particular event, visiting with a someone etc. It's time to start wearing things that reflect your happy memories/state. This includes wearing styles that maximize your body silhouette, dream lifestyle and authentic personality.

My father for example at work could have worn English football cufflinks, a tie or pin to show off some personality and happy feelings that aligned with his dream.

If you feel like you need advice to implement your optimal style requirements, you could ask a close style-savvy friend or family member. Choose someone who naturally has high level and superb taste, knows you extremely well, and sees your best you when she/he looks at you OR you could seek out an image consultant who is trained to work with you to give off your best and most authentic self.

Now you have two steps to get your style routine into better alignment with your dream life.

Bottom line is you will always be chasing some sort of dream. Once you achieve what you want right now, there will be always be another want. It comes down to feeling you are living your dream in every moment by being excited, joyful and appreciative and inspiring others to feel the same way.

It's time for your style routine to reflect the life of your dreams in this moment!

I hope this blog post inspires you to wear your authenticity!

Carol Brailey Image Consulting
Inspiring Individuals to Wear Their Authenticity

New Apple Commercial Reminds Us Exactly Why We're Excited For The Holidays

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Grab those tissues, this one's definitely a tear-jerker.

In the new Apple commercial "The Song," a young woman finds an old recording of her grandmother singing to her grandfather. With a handful of conveniently-placed Apple products, the granddaughter creates a duet of her singing Nat King Cole's "Our Love Is Here To Stay" over her grandmother's 1952 recording, and gives it to her grandma on Christmas morning.

The outcome is beautiful, melting our cynical hearts and reminding us why we love the holidays so much.

We realize this is just a for-profit ploy to get us crying all the way to the nearest Apple store, but at this point, we don't even care. It's too good.

Jennifer Aniston Talks Motherhood And The Unfair Pressure To Have Kids

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Jennifer Aniston does not think "mothering" and "motherhood" are two mutually exclusive things.

"I don't like [the pressure] that people put on me, on women — that you've failed yourself as a female because you haven't procreated. I don't think it's fair," Aniston told Allure for the January 2015 issue of the beauty magazine. "You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn't mean you aren't mothering — dogs, friends, friends' children. This continually is said about me: that I was so career-driven and focused on myself; that I don't want to be a mother, and how selfish that is."

The 45-year-old star's personal life has always been tabloid fodder, and the scrutiny only intensified after she got engaged to Justin Theroux in 2012. Criticism relating to the fact that she does not have kids is not something she can take lightly.

"No. Even saying it gets me a little tight in my throat."

The topic of inequality in Hollywood came up while discussing her role in "Cake," in which Aniston plays a woman who suffers from chronic pain and hallucinations following an accident. She had to undergo a physical transformation for the part, foregoing makeup, shaving and looking in mirrors. She already has a Golden Globe nomination for the role and Oscar buzz is building.

"A woman going physically unattractive is where you get recognition and some sort of respect. You read things like, 'Oh, finally, she's acting!'" she said. As for getting so much attention for the transformation, she dubbed it: "Quite sexist, to be honest, because men don't get that."

When it comes to feminism, Aniston told Allure that people "overcomplicate" the concept. "It's simply believing in equality between men and women. Pretty basic."

Head over to Allure.com to read more from Aniston's interview.

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Titi Branch, Co-Founder Of Miss Jessie's Hair Products, Dead At 45

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The beauty industry is mourning the loss of one of its stars.

Titi Branch, one of the co-founders of the natural hair care line Miss Jessie’s, died December 4. The news is only just reaching the public now via an obituary published by NV Magazine on its Facebook page Sunday night. The business publication notes that Branch's cause of death was "an apparent suicide due to asphyxia." She was 45 years old.

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Branch, in partnership with her sister, Miko Branch, launched Miss Jessie's in 2004 with a mission to meet the needs of women with textured hair. To say they were successful is an understatement. The duo and their products quickly became fixtures in the natural hair community and helped propel the ever-growing natural hair movement. The line can be found in mega stores such as Target and Walmart and has more than 38k followers on Instagram.

Condolences are pouring in through social media from Branch's loved ones and admirers. Here are just a few:



















If you or anyone you know is dealing with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

The 23 Best Albums Of 2014

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HuffPost Entertainment's Jessica Goodman and Ryan Kristobak pick their favorite albums of the year, in no particular order.

"LP1" by FKA Twigs
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We’ll be bold: FKA Twigs is the most interesting artist of the year. Her creepy, sensual debut album quickly became our obsession. Combined with Twigs' dancing and conceptual music videos, "LP1" is a twisted look at womanhood and independence, love and sex. She's subtle in her lyrics, but ambitious in basically every other aspect. As her real showcase of what she's capable of, this is Twigs' entree into stardom. -- Jessica Goodman


"Morning Phase" by Beck
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Picking up on the sound he began on 2002's “Sea Change," "Morning Phase" feels like a long waking. When all else in life seems in shambles, Beck brings us back to the moment of birth, a place where definition isn't so clear and processing life's poisons is a bit easier. Whether it is one of the last truly great singer-songwriter albums remains to be seen, but damn, it would be a great one to go out on. -- Ryan Kristobak


"1989" by Taylor Swift
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Taylor Swift is everyone's person of the year: a disruptor in the music industry, a feminist icon, an aspirational BFF and a helluva performer. "1989" may have been her grand entrance into pop music, but it's also a force, full of hit singles, cockeyed lyrics and loosely cloaked disses.-- JG


"Run The Jewels 2" by Run The Jewels
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Killer Mike and El-P are hip-hop's duo. On their second tour, El-P was able to craft beats with a very clear idea of what RTJ is -- the result being the most electrifying collection he's ever booked together. Lyrically unparalleled, intelligent braggadocio and a sword on fire sends their competition and all others sputtering at the knees. But what really sets this album apart from their first, is that in the middle of bringing hell to Earth, both of them bled a little, and they made sure that everyone knew it. -- RK


"The Voyager" by Jenny Lewis
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Hurled from the cosmos, Jenny Lewis' latest proves she's not just a grown-up little girl. Recorded in just over 10 days with Ryan Adams' studio, "The Voyager" is Lewis' 40-minute trip through her universes as a non-mother, a grieving daughter and a grown up. -- JG


"2014 Forest Hills Drive" by J. Cole
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Announcing the release of his new record, but following with no singles or promotion, “2014 Forest Hills Drive” was a humbled approach to the “Beyonce” effect that artists have been so breathlessly chasing. However, the album’s content is often far from innocent. In-between stories of the first time he had sex and revealing that even his struggles weren’t half as damned as others around him, Cole wants people to understand that they are listening to a classic. While the album still feels short of such stature, it sets the pace for its inevitable rise. -- RK


"Say Yes to Love" by Perfect Pussy
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The five-piece hardcore band's first full album is a 23-minute full-throttle sprint, punctured by Meredith Graves' jumbled vocals. She's intentionally hard to make out at times, as if she's fighting to be heard through the overwhelming -- and shockingly relatable -- rage. Her lyrics are honest and painful like your worst fears highlighted in a passage of your favorite book, backed by careful chaos.-- JG


"Under Pressure" by Logic
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Logic’s “Under Pressure” was an album for the hip-hop heads. Never shadowed by production, Logic winds through his troubled past with one of the top-five flows in the game. It's difficult to remember that this is only his debut album, but undoubtedly the releases that follow will make that a little clearer. -- RK


"Stay Gold" by First Aid Kit
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Sisters Johanna and Klara Söderberg's found a sweet spot in the confident "Stay Gold." It's more mature than 2012's "The Lion’s Roar," and the duo has settled their folksy sound into a grand and far-reaching formula that delivers real talk lines like, "Shit gets fucked up and people just disappear." High vocals and slow background drumbeats make us actually begin to accept that.-- JG


"Cilvia Demo" by Isaiah Rashad
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Bringing some southern love to TDE, Isaiah Rashad sounds like Kendrick Lamar's little brother, reunited after growing up with split parents. As nostalgic as it is forward-thinking to the stylings of the dirty South, when Rashad exclaims, “Just wait ‘til I get this shit perfect!” we can't help but imagine another "Good Kid, m.A.A.d. City" is on its way. -- RK


"Four" by One Direction
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2014 will forever be known as the year that we realized One Direction was actually, dare we say, good. Teenagers and middle-age music critics blast "Fireproof" on the subway without shame. Stevie Nicks told us “Steal My Girl” was one of her favorite new tracks and we can't disagree. "Four" has exactly what you want from a boy band -- nay! -- any band. Catchy choruses, dancy guitars and man buns (so many the man buns) make "Four" a complex, feel-good trip down young love lane.-- JG


"Language & Perspective" by Bad Suns
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Pairing retro vibes of acts like The Police with the drive of today’s pop, Bad Suns' debut album is a rare indie release with little excess amongst its singles. Whether it's the radio-designed “Cardiac Arrest” or the funky “Dancing on Quicksand,” “Language & Perspective” will have you on your feet without any forced feelings. -- RK


"My Everything" by Ariana Grande
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High ponytails and futuristic circle skirts have been good to Ariana Grande this year. The sophomore album from the former Nickelodeon star cements her in that category of, "Uh, Hey, This Woman Has An Incredible Voice." She may give a pretty bizarrely stoic interview, and we still have no idea who she really is as an artist, but Grande's sheer talent did not go unnoticed with huge radio singles like "Problem" and "Love Me Harder." We're fine with wondering for just a little longer.-- JG


"Goddess" by Banks
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Much of Banks' debut, “Goddess,” feels like a drunk, drugged-up teetering and tottering of trip-hop-influenced R&B and pop. While exhilarating in bits, as a full listen, it’s a little hard to stomach. However, in the comedown, “Brain” demonstrates what happens when Banks is at her spiciest, and “You Should Know Where I’m Coming From” removes the ooze for a clear look at just how capable her voice is on its own, giving us hope for a more explorative follow-up. -- RK


"Are We There" by Sharon Van Etten
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Earnest and tragic, "Are We There" is the ultimate heartbreak album with lyrics like, "Burn my skin so I can't feel you/ Stab my eyes so I can’t see." Van Etten breaks down unhealthy and undeserving love in a way that we can understand why it won't always destroy us in the end.-- JG


"In The Lonely Hour" by Sam Smith
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It was the voice that everyone fell in love with in 2014. From “Money on My Mind,” aligning with the roots of his Disclosure collaboration that first brought him to the world’s attention, to the heartbreaking “Stay with Me,” the instrumentals are truly just background noise. “In the Lonely Hour” may not be the most uplifting album, but it really doesn’t matter because Smith could sing about Hot Pockets and we’d still take it to church. --RK


"My Favourite Faded Fantasy" by Damien Rice
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After eight years away from music, Damien Rice came back to the biz, quietly at first, with a few small tour dates and an eight-song album, "My Favourite Faded Fantasy." Like the tracks that made him famous, it's a devastating reminder that love leaves you crumbling and fantasies are just fiction. Rice's delicate vocals are sinister and familiar, bringing about a distant memory of why "Cannonball" was oh so perfect in that episode of "The O.C."-- JG


"Royal Blood" by Royal Blood
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No, rock music isn’t dead. There are still so many amazing acts out there crafting new brands of rock you’ve never heard. They just aren’t on the radio anymore. But warriors against the mainstream can be just annoying as purists, so when a band like Royal Blood comes along and kicks ass and gets some time to shine in the larger narrative, it should be recognized as good for all parties. -- RK


"24 Karat Gold: Songs From The Vault" by Stevie Nicks
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Stevie Nicks came back in a huge way this year. She toured with Fleetwood Mac, guest starred on "The Voice" and "American Horror Story," opened a gallery of self-portraits and released "24 Karat Gold," an album made of songs written between 1969 and 1995. Sweet and catapulted from their own time periods, the tracks chronicle Nicks' never-ending love stories and her fantasy worlds where, once again, she beckons us to come visit.-- JG


"Hozier" by Hozier
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Despite his sudden rise due to the controversial video for his song “Take Me to Church,” Hozier is far from a one-hit wonder. Blending gospel, blues and garage rock, the Irish singer-songwriter’s debut LP feels as much the appropriate soundtrack for front porch rocking chairs in the backcountry just as much as it does at New York City’s biggest venues. -- RK


“Broke With Expensive Taste” by Azealia Banks
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One major hit and three years of silence left us in Azealia Banks-style limbo, waiting for the New York rapper to come back and blow us away. “Broke” delivered with a mix of older tracks from her time at Interscope and new, weirder songs exploring dubstep, Caribbean influence and horns (so many horns!). It's the the kind of rap that gets top billing at an exclusive rave for Tumblr's finest.-- JG


“Transgender Dysphoria Blues" by Against Me!
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There are few records in recent years that capture the punk heart quite like “Transgender Dysphoria Blues.” Right from the start, Laura Jane Grace hits you with truths. Attacking the prison guards of trans culture, misogynistic bros and all of the suppressors that would rather see her drown in her transformation, Grace and her band are gearing up to help lead a long overdue charge. -- RK


"Descensus” by Circa Survive
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With so much and so little happening in the personal and creative lives of the members of Circa Survive, “Descensus” is an album that few other artists would have been able to write and record. It’s aggressive, heavy and gut-wrenching, but its redemptive, and will prove a sturdy raft through dangerous waters for many of its listeners. Circa Survive proved their best work is still coming, and that there is good reason why they hold the banner for progressive rock today. -- RK

The Power of No

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"I'm as proud of what we don't do as I am of what we do." --Steve Jobs

No. Nyet. Non. Nein. No matter you say it, the meaning is still the same, but this tiny word can be very hard to say. What is it about the word no that makes us feel uncomfortable? If you have difficulty saying no, you're not alone. There are a thousand ways to say no, yet too often we say yes.

Saying Yes When We Want to Say No

There are many reasons why we are afraid to say no:

• The fear of being rude

• The fear of alienating yourself from another person or a group

• The fear of conflict

• The fear of being rejected by others

• The fear of being thought selfish

• The fear of confrontation

• The fear of lost opportunity

Saying No Is Liberating

In spite of all these fears, saying no can be a powerful and liberating act. It means being true to yourself and putting your own agenda first. After all, if you overcommit yourself, you'll be good to no one. Carol Simone, an author who teaches workshops in self-empowerment, offers this advice:

"A strong no takes an immense amount of courage and self-worth. Saying no is a key to the soul's liberation. When you have a hard time saying no, immediately ask yourself, 'What am I afraid of?' Then talk to the part of yourself that is afraid until it calms down and feels that it is safe to speak the truth."


It's easier to say no if you practice some responses to a set of familiar requests ahead of time.
Just say no to . . .

Hosting events: "I can't commit to this, as I have other priorities at the moment."

Chairing evenings: "I'd love to do this, but I've already committed to working with . . ."

Requests for donations: "I'm not the best person to help with this, but I have some ideas about others who could make major donations."

Serving on a board: "I'm flattered to be asked, but now's not a good time as I'm in the middle of something."

If small children have no problem saying no all day every day, surely we can, too. We just have to learn how to say it and when.

Lisa Mirza Grotts is a recognized etiquette expert, an on-air contributor, and the author of A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette. She is a former director of protocol for the city and county of San Francisco and the founder and CEO of The AML Group (www.lisagrotts.com), certified etiquette and protocol consultants. Her clients range from Stanford Hospital to Cornell University and Levi Strauss. She has been quoted by Condé Nast Traveler, InStyle magazine, the Los Angeles Times, and the New York Times. To learn more about Lisa, follow her on www.Twitter.com/LisaGrotts and www.Facebook.com/LisaGrotts.

Jennifer Aniston Goes Topless For Allure With Hairstyist Chris McMillan

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For the past two decades, Jennifer Aniston has belonged to the small, exclusive club of actresses we so endearingly refer to as "America's sweethearts."

But as Allure's January 2015 cover girl, she's finally rocking the boat a little. Aniston is taking a stand against the unfair amount of pressure people put on her -- and women in general -- to have children.

She's also posing topless with her longtime friend and hairstylist Chris McMillan, who is responsible for creating her iconic hairstyle "The Rachel" -- while he was high, no less. Wearing only jeans, Aniston and McMillan pose bare chest to bare chest for the very sexy photo, which was shot by Michael Thompson.

jennifer aniston topless

jennifer aniston allure

For more with Jennifer Aniston, pick up a copy of Allure on sale Dec. 23.

Camp Kardashian Takes The Hamptons

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The whole Kardashian camp took the Hamptons Sunday night on "Kourtney and Khloe Take The Hamptons." Kim and Kris duked it out over a swanky New York City apartment, which *spoiler alert* neither of them wound up winning. Khloe picked up an old horseback riding hobby. And Kourtney and Scott (and presumably the E! producers) decided to raise the stakes on Khloe's new hobby by placing a bet on her commitment to the sport.

The opening moments of the episode were pure Kardashian gold. Kim suggested they get McDonald's for dinner, which was totally awesome and brought me back to one of my personal favorite photos.

A photo posted by Jackie O (@jackieoproblems) on




Yes, that happened once.


Also, Kim had a truly novel and revolutionary thought:
Kim: "I want to do a documentary on my life and show all of this."
Kris: "Oh what a great idea! Maybe call it 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians.'"

Zing! Kris: 1, Kim: 0. This scorecard continues to fluctuate throughout the episode because Kim and Kris cannot stop competing with each other! ~DrAmA~

And then there was this glorious conversation between Kim and Scott, which really spoke to the crux of the American economic system:
kim k hamptons
scott hamptons


Then Kourt and Kim have the brilliant idea to try to set Kris up with someone for a nice little summer romance. Scott suggests they put her on Craigslist (I so wish they would have done that), and Kourtney decides to set Kris up with their cute, young chef, Jordan (I think that was his name?).
kim chef


So Kim calls in the formerly accused "leaky asshole," Jonathan Cheban. He has a brillz plan to get Kris and Jordan alone together and though it was all so contrived and totally scripted, I actually laughed SO hard! And for a moment there I really thought Kris bedded the half-her-age chef. You got me, Kris. You really got me there. And locking Kris in the bedroom with a chef and a bottle of wine and then fleeing the scene in a speedboat -- so Kardashian, so Hamptons. Bravo to all.
kris j

Ugh and then there was the horseback riding plot line, which was complete horse feathers for a myriad of reasons. There was so much good, natural stuff going on in this episode, why do they have to bore us with these contrived storylines? This plot would have been better suited for an episode when Kourtney, Khloe and Scott are in the Hamptons alone and with nothing to do. Like last week's episode. That was a total snorefest. I want to see Kim making Hamptons selfie books with North for Kanye, but we only see the top of North's head in the frame because she's North West. I want to see Kris taking tasteful nudes in the pool, or maybe even in the bay (so Hamptons!). I want to see Kendall and her chic outfits, but not hear her speak. This whole horse-plot was scattered intermittently throughout the episode and it totally disrupted the flow. I am trying to keep up with the Kardashians here!


Also, the whole Khloe finding out she is a "bet" thing. What is this, "How To Lose A Kardashian In 10 Days"? Or "Khloe's All That"? Or "Enter Cheesy Rom-Com With A Bet Storyline Here"? It brought me back to this place:
shes all that

The episode ended with Kim throwing kupcakes at Kris after their real estate war. Again, I ROFLMAOed so hard!
kris hamptons

It was an A+ ending for an A+ episode!
And for those of you who want to chastise me for calling this an A+ episode, you obviously do not understand the "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" grading curve. Each episode is graded by a complex algorithm which accounts for the number of times the viewer laughs out loud (usually courtesy of Khloe), coupled with the level of chicness of Kim's outfits and the number of minutes we get to see the kids, multiplied by how many times Kourtney smiles with teeth. Last night's episode had all of that and more so yes, it deserved an A+.

Also, was I dreaming or did we see a quick glimpse of Kylizzle at the end, sleeping on a sofa, being served breakfast in bed by momma Kris? She was there the whole episode? News to me.

I'm 40. I Don't Want to Be a Mom. Now What?

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By Glynnis MacNicol

I've known plenty of women who always knew they wanted children. I've known more than a few who, for reasons having to do with upbringing, genetics, economics, and so forth, have always known they didn't and actively chose not to have them. I fit in neither of those categories. I've been surrounded by children for much of my adult life, gratefully so -- and yet for me, the idea of motherhood has always been a nebulous thing, hovering somewhere in the distance, out of my direct line of sight. It was something I knew I was supposed to want, but never went after with the fierceness of some of my friends, or the fierceness I apply to other goals.

This fall I turned 40 and found myself at the nexus of a particularly modern phenomenon: In the last year, many of my friends have either married for the first time, divorced for the first time, or had their first child. Having kids is not something a woman can back-burner forever, and as I've watched friends take the leap, the reality that I would not be able to leave to fate the matter of children much longer persistently crept to the forefront of my mind. It was less a pressing need to have a child than a deep, nagging fear that I wouldn't be okay without one.

Then, last month I went to help my sister take care of her three children. Four days before I arrived, she'd given birth to my nephew, and he was now home with my niece, 3½, and my other nephew, 5. The two weeks I spent there have since become a blur: overwhelming, glorious, exhausting. The part that remains crystal clear in my mind, however, are the evenings I would spend alone with the newborn. Every night while my sister put the kids to bed, or took some much-needed time to rest herself, I would take my nephew. We'd sit in the darkened, now-quiet living room, he'd hold my fingers, we'd gaze into each other's eyes, and I would sing to him until he fell peacefully asleep. Is there another deeper, more meaningful word for magical? It was that. There we would stay, silently together, and even after I was confident he was soundly asleep and knew I could safely open my computer without waking him, I would force myself to continue to stare at him. Really look. And wait.

Here, then, was the showdown I had been both looking for and avoiding: Here we go, this is it, no distractions now! If my biological clock, the unforgiving overlord of every woman's life (or so we are conditioned to think, basically from birth), is going explode into 1 million pieces and rip my heart to shreds, now's the time. I would stare at him more. Harder. Waiting to be washed away in waves of regret over bad relationship decisions, bad life decisions, bad whatever decisions that had brought me to this age childless. I would wait for the full-blown panic attack that would inevitably follow the realization that if I wanted this to be mine, I would have to figure something out right now, and even then, it would be a total unlikely crapshoot. I waited and waited and waited, all the while making myself look the beast -- the perfect, new, sweet, gorgeous, six-pound beast -- in the face.

But nothing happened.

The explosion, the regret, the panic never arrived.

Instead, I found myself considering carefully the life I'd created for myself -- one I had always been conditioned to understand I should want to escape or be rescued from -- and started weighing it against the possibility of creating a new life, a baby. I realized that so many of those things I valued in my current life would cease to be if I opted for motherhood. Perhaps for the first time I began thinking of my life as something intentional, rather than a for-the-time-being existence. And it dawned on me that I didn't want to escape from it. Quite the contrary, I loved it.

Night after night I reached the same conclusion. By the end of those two weeks, I knew, knew, I'd be okay without children. I knew I did not want this motherhood thing, an idea I had, without much thought, signed off on early on as being something I should want. If fate knocked me up, I'd be okay. But if it didn't, that was pretty great also. Maybe greater. Though I tend to steer clear of the "having it all" belief system that plagues nearly everything written for women, it was a relief to discover I did not actually want it all. It was a relief to think I could go forth and date without the judging elephant in the room silently wondering: Is he father material? Is he worried I'm wondering if he's father material? Is he hoping to be father material? Every single person I've dated in the last five years has raised the subject of children first, usually on the first date. Without fail I would shrug and say I didn't not want them. That shrug has now become a confident understanding that I'll be okay without them. Whatever part of me, small though it was, that viewed men as a solution to a problem I was supposed to be suffering from is gone for good.

So now what? As my friend Stacy London said, "Breaking up with motherhood is more complicated than simply not wanting children. It is breaking up with our perceived use-value. It is looking at what we as single, childless women, unfettered by traditional roles, want to offer the world." Life, particularly life for women, is marked with widely acknowledged signposts, beginning with puberty, then marriage, then children -- or, failing that, devoting our lives to charity or career, two things women are often required to give in exchange for not producing a child. We may balk at the restrictions and create our own detours, but the established guidebook is there, as is the reward system for checking off the boxes. Look no further than the recent New York Times piece that informed its readers that for many women, it's "the wedding day that heralds true success." Even though single women now make up 23 percent of the electorate, as Rebecca Traister noted last month, there are very few socially recognizable, condoned paths through the particular woods called your 40s as a single and/or childless woman that (a) don't immediately define you as such, and (b) aren't dark and twisty and lined with aforementioned "Style" section stories aimed at making you feel guilty, ashamed, judged, a failure, or freakish.

I feel none of those things. Zero. Neither do so many of the women I know and admire who are walking a similar path to me, which is likely why all the stories telling me I am terrible for veering off the path have long ceased to instill great panic in me. True, we are slowly seeing signs of this changing demographic in the cultural landscape -- Olivia Pope, Mindy Lahiri, even, to some extent, Katniss Everdeen (and when those fail, there's always Auntie Mame and her glorious duplex on Beekman) -- but I'm hungry to see something a bit more far-seeing and celebratory. Something that reflects my own conclusion that what I have is fucking terrific and hard and joyous and satisfying, and that basically, I've won the lottery. I'm starting to suspect I will be part of the generation creating these new models, an idea that's both terrifying and exhilarating.

I am fortunate to have a life that is full of children: the ones I'm related to, the ones who are my godchildren, the ones whose parents' wills I am written into as unofficial guardian. I adore them, they adore me, and we will be a part of each other's lives permanently. But my life is also my own, and I am very, very free to do as I chose. That is a big deal, and something I value beyond measure. Sometimes I imagine traveling back in time to any point prior to 1972 and telling women how much freedom I have: I get to have children in my life, and I also get to have a life without them. Which I suppose in many ways means I'm living life as men have been allowed to live it, time out of mind. Perhaps I do have it all.


See more from The Cut:

25 Famous Women on Childlessness
What If You Just Don't Know If You Want Kids?
I Tried to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Here's What Happened.
21 NYC Women Confess the Dumbest Thing They Spend Their Money On
New York Women Draw Their Own Boobs
I'm Not a Spinster Aunt, I'm a PANK

Follow The Cut on twitter: https://twitter.com/TheCut


ALSO ON HUFFPOST:

This Roller Skating Man Has Singlehandedly Elevated The Ring Bearer Game

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Traditionally, the role of ring bearer belongs to the bride or groom's nephew or some other little tyke in a tuxedo. But that's not always the case, as you can see below:


Credit: Steve Conway Photography

On Sunday, one Redditor shared the above photo of this incredible surprise entrance at his friends Bobby and Shanna Lockhart's wedding in Lubbock, Texas and also the story behind it, writing:

A friend of mine had his wedding today. The Best Man is asked for the rings, the groom holds his hand out and the Best Man plays the "I don't have them" card. Everyone checks pockets...and no one has the rings. Then...this guy rolls in.







The impossibly fabulous man on roller skates is Quis, one half of the Instagram duo DQ4E, showing off a gliding move called "Superman Drawls." According to Cosmopolitan, he is a friend of the groom's.

Just FYI, this is how we will be entering every party we attend for the rest of the year.

H/T Cosmopolitan

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Holiday Gift Guide 2014: The Best Grooming Gifts for Guys

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All your man wants for Christmas is... some grooming products? Well, he just doesn't know what he wants. He may not come out and say, "I would love something for my ingrown hairs, since they all end up looking like big zits because I pick at them..." or "I noticed I'm getting a lot of wrinkles."

Let's put it this way, I write about beauty for a living and my husband still doesn't use moisturizer nor is he embarrassed he picks at his ingrowns. I just want to shake him and say, "If you exfoliate and moisturize, your face won't look like a lonely teenager!" I'm not being fair. He doesn't always have an ingrown. But when he does get one, it's pretty obvious he goes digging for treasure. Kills. Me.

I digress... The holiday season isn't about ingrowns. It's about preventing them. It's also about hydrating the hell out of your skin and hair. Obviously. Do your man's work for him and get him one of these great guy gifts...

V76 by Vaughn Well Groomed Shower and Shave Essentials ($49)
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Just because your guy is oblivious to the fact that his skin and scalp get dry and flaky in the winter, doesn't mean you have to ignore the issue. Take matters into your own hands and get him this collection of Hydrating Shampoo, Hydrating Conditioner, and Clean Shave Hydrating Gel Cream. This trio will put his hair and skin back in fighting condition--even if he's none the wiser. Available at V76.com.

Burt's Bees Natural Skincare for Men Collection ($4 - $25)
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He's crunchy. He composts. He'll love this collection of natural "no-fuss, no-frills" products. Make things easy by getting him the Men's Gift Set ($25), which includes: Bar Soap, Body Wash, and Shave Cream. Available at Burtsbees.com.

Jack Black The Jack Pack ($49)

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This kit basically has every product you wish he would use: The Industrial Strength Hand Healer for his leather mitts; Double-Duty Face Moisturizer SPF 20 since there is no other way he would incorporate a sunscreen into his regimen; Pure Clean Daily Facial Cleanser because he's still using deodorant soap on his face, Turbo Body Bar Scrubbing Soap because that deodorant soap is drying the hell out of his winter skin; and, True Volume Thickening Shampoo because, well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now, he needs it. Available at GetJackBlack.com.

L'Occitane en Provence Men's Luxury Shave Set ($80)
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Your guy believes in the ritual of shaving, just like his father taught him. Give him this set and he will appreciate that French company Plisson, who have been making shaving accessories since 1808, provides the brush and razor. This set also includes a tub of L'Occitane's hydrating and soothing Cade Rich Shaving Cream. Available at usa.loccitane.com.

Molton Brown Fresh Black Peppercorn Gift Set ($52)
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Your man isn't afraid of a little fragrance, within reason of course. Skip the headache-inducing musky colognes and give him body wash and deodorant in a crisp spicy scent. With notes of coriander, black pepper, and aromatic vetiver, this duo will have you nose-diving his armpits in no time. Available at MoltonBrown.com.

Anthony The Perfect Shave Kit $65
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You know how your guy always has dry skin, which means he also gets ingrowns? Put an end to the madness by giving him this dummy-proof shave kit. The Glycolic Facial Cleanser gently exfoliates, while the Shave Cream, Pre-Shave Oil, and After Shave Balm hydrate and soothe. Available at Anthony.com, Sephora and Sephora.com.

And don't forget--baby steps! If he washes his face with deodorant soap and then shaves haphazardly, don't expect for him to adopt a 4-step grooming regimen overnight. Start out by switching his shampoo and putting a face cleanser in the shower. He'll be reaching for that face cream with SPF in no time*.

*This is assuming you put said cream on the bathroom counter in plain view and point it out a few dozen times. Baby steps.

Scarlett Johansson Says Her Body 'Isn't Particularly Remarkable'

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Scarlett Johansson has had such a momentous year: she got married, gave birth to her first child and starred in blockbuster films. It's no surprise that Barbara Walters chose her as one of the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2014. What is surprising, though, is what Johansson had to say about her physique.

"It's an okay body, I guess. I wouldn't say it's particularly remarkable, though," she told Walters when asked if she liked her body, adding, "I don't like my thighs, my midsection, but ... I'm not going to complain! I got thighs and a midsection, so I'm happy."

And despite being named Esquire Magazine's Sexiest Woman Alive in 2006 and again in 2013, Johansson told Walters that she doesn't really feel like a sex symbol.

"I never put on a sexy face, so I don't know what it means to act seductively," she said.

A few months before she turned 30 in November, she told The Weekend Australian that she's happy to be getting older and won't always be considered "an object of desire."

On aging, Johansson said: "I don't want to be the ingenue any more. That part I'm happy about. It's nice to be glamorous, but I don't want to always have to be trendy and glamorous and an object of desire. I don't want to be stuck in that forever. Because it doesn't last."

Holiday RSVP Etiquette

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With the holidays in full swing, you no doubt have been on the receiving end of at least one dinner or party invitation. Common courtesy requires you to follow the simple etiquette rule of responding in a timely manner. The rules for a proper RSVP are basic but often ignored. Failing to properly respond to an invitation will inevitably lead to ill will, hurt feelings and getting tagged as a rude guest or a thoughtless friend. Hosting an event takes a great deal of preparation and much of it depends on the number of guests in attendance. Here are a few RSVP etiquette tips:

  • Do respond promptly - preferably within 48 hours. Your host is waiting for your answer today. Even if the party is several weeks away, or the RSVP deadline is not immediate, a speedy response shows the host that you appreciate being included on the guest list. You may or may not accept the offer, but either way, a quick response shows respect for the person sending the invitation.

  • Do keep your regret simple. There's no need to go into an elaborate story as to why you can't attend the party. If you would like to share details, such as a prior commitment or a family function, by all means offer the information. However, a simple, "Unfortunately I have a schedule conflict and won't be able to attend the party" is all that is necessary...even less when responding via a response card.

  • Don't assume a third party verbal RSVP is enough. Letting someone other than the person indicated on the invitation know (husband, friend, neighbor) you accept or decline an invitation is a dangerous risk. A direct RSVP to the host will ensure an accurate count and avoid a message that may get miscommunicated or forgotten.

  • Do RSVP only for the person invited. The invitation should clearly state who and how many people are invited to attend. If you are truly unsure, you can ask for a clarification, but ask in a way that avoids putting your host on the spot; "I just want to make I sure I understand, this is an employee only party and spouses are not invited?" Graciously accept whatever answer your host provides and don't ask to be the exception.

  • Don't change your mind. The only good reason to alter an RSVP is an emergency, such as illness, injury or a personal situation that is beyond your control. If that happens, make a phone call to your host, letting them know of the unexpected circumstances and apologize for the short notice. Often a host has a limited budget and space restrictions and your change will either open the door for another guest to be invited or leave an empty chair if you don't let the host know in enough time.

  • Do let the host know of any dietary restrictions. A host will often ask at the time of the RSVP if there are any special dietary limitations they should be aware of. It's the guest's responsibility to let the host know in advance to allow for careful planning and menu preparation.

  • Don't assume an e-vite RSVP is not as important as a written response. It is not uncommon to hear, "I didn't respond because it was just an electronic invitation." In today's tech inundated world, e-vites are equally as common as an invitation sent through the mail. If the host has taken the time to include you on their guest list, it's only courteous that you respond in kind.



For inspiration on the perfect Holiday Hostess Gift, refer to my Pinterest board. You'll also find holiday style favorites and entertaining ideas fitting for this festive time of year.

For more of Diane's Holiday Etiquette tips, visit her blog, connect with her here on The Huffington Post, follow her on Pinterest and Instagram and "like" The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook.

4-Year-Old Fashion Star Mayhem Talks About Her J. Crew Collection On CBS

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After 4-year-old paper dress designer Mayhem took the Internet by storm earlier this year, it wasn't too surprising to learn that she'd been tapped to design a kids line for J. Crew.

Today, the adorable fashion prodigy, whose real name is Sydney Keiser, and her mom Angie appeared on "CBS This Morning" to talk about the 4-year-old's creative process and her upcoming summer 2015 crewcuts collection. In the segment, we learn that Sydney likes to design dresses for both herself and her "imaginary sister," a pint-sized mannequin she calls Mackenza.

And, we can't help but marvel at the little girl's work ethic. "I practice a lot," Sydney tells the reporter, estimating that she dedicates about 10 hours a day to her design work (though we're guessing the 4-year-old hasn't fully grasped just how long an hour is... )

Way to go Sydney!





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The 15 Phases Of Your Failed New Year's Resolution

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2015's your year. Your Instagram's going to go viral and you're going to set the track team mile record and it's going to be the best 365 days of your life. Or something like that.

Everybody acts like the New Year = a new you, and it's the moment to transform yourself with a gajillion ambitious resolutions. But usually, it goes more like this:

Phase 1: Excitement and awe



You can be ANYBODY in 2015. The world is yours.




Phase 2: Designing your plan for world domination.

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NO TIME can be wasted.


Phase 3: Getting your game face on.

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You wake up January 1st full of dreamy-eyed possibilities ready to slay.


Phase 4: Making it through one day without breaking.



You went on that long run. You benched those weights. You read that long boring book. You ate your damn veggies. One day, they'll write a song about you.


Phase 5: And seeing Herculean improvement.




Is it just you or did you already get ripped?


Phase 6: Enjoying the pride and glory.

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You reek of success and everybody can see it.


Phase 7: And then the boredom sets in.

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Self-improvement's kind of annoying and your friends are all out having fun without you.


Phase 8: Indulging in massive junk food to congratulate yourself.

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You EARNED it by being a champion, OK? The physical and mental exertion of changing your life burns hella calories.


Phase 9: And then you break.

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You'll go back to being perfect again tomorrow.


Phase 10: And it's kind of hard to get yourself pumped up again.

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Um. You'll just a second...


Phase 11: You feel the looming threat of failure.

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Too many demands with too-high expectations! You can never deliver.


Phase 12: And the deep shame of not measuring up.




You're a nobody.




Phase 13: Self-loathing ensues.

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You'll never change, you'll never improve.


Phase 14: Then you wonder why you cared so much in the first place.

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This isn't your fault. It's the media's fault for making you think you need a New Year's Resolution in the first place.


Phase 15: But when you start to doubt yourself, just follow T-Swift's advice:

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Source: swiftalison.tumblr.com

Hey, you've been doing alright up through December 31, 2014. So what's the big deal?

Besides, there's always 2016 to be perfect.


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