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One Woman Is Challenging The Stereotypes That Plague Fashion Photography

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"A lot of designers are not inspired by the real China," Andrew Bolton, curator of the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute, explained in a past interview. Instead, designers are inspired by a "fantasy of China," one that, more critical experts would claim, is often created and manipulated for mostly Western audiences.


As a student of fashion, photographer Nadine Ijewere was often exposed to this kind of fantasy -- "where the 'cultural elements' of a fashion editorial always had a specific look." She cites the wild animals included in shots meant to evoke African cultures, or the deliberate positioning of models when a series attempted to portray Asian cultures. The imagery that came out of design seemed to perpetuate the unreal aspects of cultures outside of the West, instead of the real.


"I was curious to know where this came from," she explained to The Huffington Post. "Many of us don't give it a second thought, but looking through fashion archives from 1950 all the way to today, they all had a similar output. Labelling others in order to differentiate the West from 'everyone else,' everyone different, basically non-white. Even in 2016 there is still that element."




For her own series, titled "The Misrepresentation of Representation," Ijewere decided to shine a light on the concept of Orientalism in fashion. To do so, she cast a variety of friends as models -- women of color -- and shot them against ornate backdrops that took up to three months to design. She sought to produce images that were "staged but not staged," and as a result, elements of her studio creep into her frames. "It was done on purpose," she added, "to portray this idea that the whole concept of Orientalism and representation is a staged concept created by the Western world during colonialism."


Ijewere explained further that she wanted to challenge the stereotypes perpetuated in fashion editorials -- the kinds of "boxing" that segregate people into different types -- without placing her own ideas of representation on other people. "There is a very fine line, because you can end up doing what has been done in the past and categorize," she noted. "That's what the project was about -- it was showing that nowadays, anyone can be from anywhere. We can't necessarily place a label on individuals especially in places like London, full of diversity, mixed heritage, etc."



Ijewere was born and raised in South East London, where she is still based. She started experimenting with photography during her A levels. "I'd always loved the concept of photography telling a story through images," she explained.


When it comes to artists beyond herself, who tell stories through images and attempt to confront the ways we represent and misrepresent people in art and fashion, she says it's important for people to be able to speak freely about how they feel. "I don't want to state exactly how [others should] go about doing something, because at the end of the day, who am I to tell others," she concluded. "Myself, I just base my art on the way I feel and the way I have been treated in my life and how I see things from my perspective, without the influence of others."




See more from Ijewere's Instagram below:



A photo posted by Nadine Ijewere (@nadineijewere) on





Lizzy

A photo posted by Nadine Ijewere (@nadineijewere) on





Portrait Sessions w// Louis Rianna

A photo posted by Nadine Ijewere (@nadineijewere) on





Yohanna/

A photo posted by Nadine Ijewere (@nadineijewere) on





'A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.'- Max Lucado

A photo posted by Nadine Ijewere (@nadineijewere) on





✌ ️occasional selfiE

A photo posted by Nadine Ijewere (@nadineijewere) on



-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.












Michelle Obama's Thoughts On Aging Are Just SO Right

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In 2008, Michelle Obama made history not only by becoming the first black First Lady, but also by becoming the youngest person to hold that title since Jackie Kennedy.


But getting older is clearly not something that bothers the 52-year-old mother of two.


At this week's SXSW Music Conference in Austin, Texas, Obama revealed her thoughts on aging: "You talk about your 30s being good? Your 50s -- wooo! Phenomenal. I plan to go into my 60s blazing. Blazing! And trying to be as fly and as healthy as I can. Remember that 106-year-old woman, Ms. McLaurin, who was dancing with us? I told her, 'I want to be just like you! 106 and movin’ and groovin’!'”


Obama has talked about embracing her age before. While some women may dread the midcentury milestone, Obama told Parade magazine in 2013 that she'd never felt more confident as a woman when asked about approaching the big 5-0. "I want to be this really fly 80-, 90-year-old," she said at the time.


But her relaxed attitude on aging didn't stop her from going through a bit of a midlife crisis, which took the form of a dramatic new haircut about a year before she turned 50 on Jan. 17, 2014.


"I can't buy a sports car. I can't bungee jump. Can't skydive, so might as well cut your bangs, right?" she joked in an interview with Rachael Ray in 2013.


That's the kind of midlife crisis we'd all love to have. Here's to hoping the First Lady inspires us for at least another few decades. 

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.











This Groundbreaking Magazine Explores Identity, Fashion And Queer Ornamentation

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Postureis an online and print magazine publication that explores identity, fashion and queerness through profiles of and essays by up-and-coming influencers in various creative industries.


The brainchild of Winter Mendelson, Posture recently released its second print edition called The Ornamentation Issue. The publication features many arists and designers featured in previous Huffington Post Queer Voices series, like Vincent Tiley, Chromat and BCALLA from "FABRICATIONS" and Untitled Queen, Switch N' Play and Merrie Cherry from "Queer New World."


In the words of Mendelson, The Ornamentation Issue was inspired by the "notion of ornamenting oneself or one's environment is a form of self-ownership and reclamation." In order to better understand this, The Huffington Post chatted with Mendelson this week about this second print edition of Posture, the history of the publication and why it's important to highlight queer people working in creative fields in this way. Check out the interview, as well as some photos from this most recent incarnation of Posture, below.



What is Posture? What's the history and vision behind this publication?


Posture is an online and print magazine dedicated to the exploration of identity through fashion and artistic practice. Identity for us is an umbrella term that includes not only queerness and sexual orientation, but also concepts such as gender, race, ethnicity, feminism, diaspora and the ultimate journey towards empowerment and progress. 


I launched Posture online officially in Aug. 2013 as a blog with original content and editorial published weekly by rotating freelance contributors. At the time of the launch it was actually solely focused on female-identified creatives, but I shortly after made the decision to become focused on subject matter versus gender and become inclusive to all identities. We were able to release our first print edition last summer for Pride 2015, and just released our second print issue this month and are now on a biannual Spring/Fall printing schedule. 



I conceptualized the project in the winter of 2012 shortly after I moved to NYC after graduating from the University of Georgia with a B.A. in Art History. I hit the ground running and got a day job -- an internship at a Chelsea art gallery -- and started taking a night class at SVA for graphic design. To be honest I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do in life, but I knew I wanted to make a difference, so creating a media platform gave me huge opportunities for learning and growth. And as someone new to the city who could not find an active queer-minded arts and fashion publication it became clear that this project was calling my name. 



You mentioned that through this work you are "claiming ornamentation as a uniquely queer aesthetic" -- can speak more about what that means?



Our second print issue is titled The Ornamentation Issue, which is inspired by Austrian architect and theorist Adolf Loos's text Crime and Ornament, published in 1910. He is considered by many the founder of Modern architecture aesthetic and he ultimately believed that ornamental decoration was unnecessary. A society without unnecessary ornamentation is enlightened and “the modern man who tattoos himself is either a criminal or a degenerate.”


We were inspired by the opposing position fundamentally because the notion of ornamenting oneself or one's environment is a form of self-ownership and reclamation. In the issue's opening editorial, author Sophie Sotsky writes, "I propose ornamentation as a uniquely queer aesthetic. If I tattoo my skin it is because I prefer that my skin never be a smooth and precious surface. I am not interested in the most stripped down, 'truest' expression of my biology because I believe that I ornament my body into whatever I like." Identity is ever-shifting and constantly in transition, and the power to examine and manipulate perception itself is by nature a queer concept. 




The notion of ornamenting oneself or one's environment is a form of self-ownership and reclamation.




How did you decide who to showcase in the magazine? Who is featured and what can people expect?


I read and dig a lot and make a continually growing "database" of potential features. In addition to deciding who I felt would be a great fit for the latest issue due to the ornamentation theme such as Rashaad Newsome, Lorna Simpson, Vincent Tiley, Raisa Kabir and Femke de Vries, I'm lucky to have such a talented team of contributors who all bring in their own unique ideas and concepts. The 164-page issue contains a solid variety of content in the form of interviews, editorials and essays, but notably I think this issue is much more fashion-heavy than the first one as I had the opportunity to collaborate with talented people such as the Art Director Giancarlo Corbacho of LACTIC and Stylist Phil Gomez of Alt Space



Why is it so important to you to showcase so many queer artists, creatives and influencers in Posture?


It is very important to me to provide this platform because too often ideas and aesthetics are taken from the underprivileged and the queer underground without credit. I feel it's time for there to be a place that honors the origin of so much revolutionary expression and allows for a community-driven space with the mission to inspire consciousness, relatability and freedom. 



Too often ideas and aesthetics are taken from the underprivileged and the queer underground without credit.




What do you want people to take away from this issue?



I'd love for people to feel inspired to push and explore themselves aesthetically, but I think perhaps more importantly I want this issue as a whole to raise the question of how can we can work to dismantle toxic assumptions, stereotypes and unattainable ideals. 




For more information please visit posturemag.com. You can also follow Posture on Instagram at @posturemagazine

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.











Rihanna Reveals In Vogue That Her Biggest Regret Involves A Bedazzled Thong

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If Rihanna isn't already having a great year, what with the release of her new album "Anti," the debut of her majorly successful music videos for "Work" and her international tour, she can now add another major accomplishment to the list -- a fourth Vogue cover



The Bajan singer looks hot as ever on the April cover, wearing a sultry sequin Tom Ford dress. Inside the mag, she works it in a Givenchy gown, which complements her flawless skin and hazel eyes.


 



In the feature on Vogue.com, penned by Abby Aguirre, Rihanna opens up about flirting with Drake, her alleged feud with Beyoncé and her love life. She also gets real about her biggest life regret (which may or may not have something to do with the infamous sheer dress she wore to the 2014 CFDAs.)


“I just liked it better without the lines underneath," Rihanna told Vogue. "Could you imagine the CFDA dress with a bra? I would slice my throat. I already wanted to, for wearing a thong that wasn’t bedazzled. That’s the only regret I have in my life.” If that's your only regret RiRi, you're doing something right. 


Pick up the April issue of Vogue on national newsstands March 29 and read Rihanna's entire interview on Vogue.com




-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.











I Was Raped by a Photographer. Here's Why You Should Care

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Trigger warning

Models. Rape. Eating disorders. Sexual abuse. Mental health.

While all of the above are quick to grab attention, they are also quick to receive criticism because most people do not understand them. In my episode of Real Women Real Stories, and my upcoming memoir, Washed Away: From Darkness to Light, I talk about all of the above, because I was a successful model who experienced all of the dark issues you can imagine.

Thankfully, I have recovered from a 17-year battle with eating disorders, PTSD from childhood abuse, sexual victimization, depression, and so on. But during my career as a fashion and swimsuit model, the industry definitely exacerbated my issues -- and created new ones.

I'm speaking out in the hopes that others will come forward, use their voices and get the help they need. These are "silent" issues that shouldn't remain so. My struggles could be yours, or your son's or daughter's -- tragedies and mental health conditions affect everyone, anytime, anywhere.



When I was modeling at one of the most prestigious agencies in the world, I booked coveted editorials and covers, sprinkled with some big campaigns, but everything came with a high price -- as we often hear about within the modeling and entertainment industries. It's currently poorly regulated but I, along with Assemblymember Marc Levine and some other incredible people, are pushing for change.

There were regular pressures to sleep around with the director of my agency, constant "model dinners" he organized that involved the owner of the agency, the director and his friends, and select models. The director had a girlfriend, however he was always booking her on long shoots faraway and that conveniently freed him up so that he could have girls over at his luxurious house. He didn't waste anytime in asking me, over and over, to come back to his place.


"My struggles could be yours, or your son's or daughter's -- tragedies and mental health conditions affect everyone, anytime, anywhere."


At the time, I felt pressured to do what I did, and to not use my voice. Now things are different because I've dealt with the issues from my childhood and know how to say "NO." However, back then I was a people-pleaser and felt that I had to give in to pressures because I had no self-esteem. I was so used to being abused and letting others control me that I allowed those situations to continue. And letting others abuse me eventually got me into serious trouble.

All of this led to being drugged and raped. Raped by a photographer at a lunch that was organized by the director of my agency. Where did this rape occur? At the director's very own house in Miami, who had assured me that on that day, everything would be glorious because he was holding a special casting with the photographer, just for me and his girlfriend. Later, when I confronted the director about what had happened, I was shot down and made to feel as though I was insane.

No one deserves to be raped. Ever. In any situation.

A naked female is not a open invitation for a male or female to rape her. A male who repeatedly says "No," "No," No," to a female or male who then ignores his voice and has sex with him anyways has every right to assume that he has, in fact, been raped.

Yet, society will oftentimes believe the perpetrators of rape and give cold eyes to the victims, which in turn, leaves the victims with feelings of shame and quite frankly, re-victimizes them. So a victim of rape has at least two perpetrators: the one who raped and those who do not believe the victim. And this attitude of denial trickles into so many areas: mental health, eating disorders, the modeling industry, addiction and so on. It is so much easier for individuals to look away because to try to understand and love others means two things: time and effort. Most people would rather play the denial game and assume the worst about those subjects than become educated.


"When I confronted the director about what had happened, I was shot down and made to feel as though I was insane. "


Especially with models, society tends to think that they are not intelligent, only "good enough" for taking photos, or then there is the other end of the scale where people believe that models live a glamorous life and don't experience anything "real." All of these assumptions are completely inaccurate; models are human beings who deserve to be treated as such and with respect and kindness.

Their world is anything but glamorous -- in fact, it can be a downright disgusting business that is in dire need of restructuring. And to undermine their worth and value is to fuel the cycle that keeps people everywhere -- not just models -- mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually sick.

If we are to break these vicious cycles in society and lessen, for example, the statistics of rape, we must become educated, learn to take personal responsibility and love one another -- it's how healing takes place.

_______________________


Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-656-HOPE for the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

If you're struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.











Rihanna Puts An End To Those Beyoncé 'Feud' Rumors

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Rihanna put in her work for her latest Vogue cover, gracing the magazine's April issue in a sexy Tom Ford dress


The 28-year-old singer has been busy, to say the least. She recently released her eighth studio album, "Anti," inked a rumored million-dollar deal to collaborate with Puma and launched a massive world tour in March. Somehow, amid the chaos, she found time to talk to Vogue about working with Drake and Paul McCartney and shut down rumors about her rumored feud with Beyoncé. 


"Here the deal," Rihanna said, "They just get so excited to feast on something that’s negative. Something that's competitive. Something that’s, you know, a rivalry. And that’s just not what I wake up to. Because I can only do me. And nobody else is going to be able to do that." 


Fans started grumbling about Bey attempting to steal Rih's thunder after "Anti" came out. Just one week after the release, Beyoncé released "Formation," a surprise single and video that she performed one day later at the Super Bowl.  



The two singers were pitted against each other as soon as Rihanna stepped on the music scene. Rumors circulated that the young singer was cheating with Beyoncé's husband, Jay Z, and are still prevalent today. Recently, Rihanna's onetime publicist, Jonathan Hay, confessed that he started those rumors during a difficult time. 


"The PR stunt that I did was out of desperation to help break 'Pon de Replay,'" Hay said on Inside Edition. "It was reckless and I didn't think it was going to work. I was just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what would stick." 


Rihanna also spoke to Vogue about others in the industry she's been linked to, including her oft-rumored boyfriend, Drake. The rapper appears on Rihanna's hit single, "Work," and the subsequent video shows the two dancing and grinding on each other. 


"Everything he does is so amazing," Rih said of Drake, before dishing on another music genius, her "FourFiveSeconds" collaborator Paul McCartney. "It's almost like no one ever told him about his success. It’s like, Aren't you busy being a Beatle?" 


To read more of Rihanna's interview with Vogue, head here, or look for it on newsstands March 29.  


-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.











Mexico Prevents Indigenous Designs From Being Culturally Appropriated — Again

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When designer Isabel Marant sent her spring/summer 2015 "Étoile" collection down the runway last year, she had no idea that the designs--which she later claimed were "inspired by" Mexico's indigenous Mixe community--would spur that community to action against her for plagiarism. After a year that included social media outcry, protests at Marant's New York store and a press conference held by the Mixe people, the group is finally getting some semblance of justice.


This month, Oaxaca’s congress declared the Mixe community's traditional designs and language as Intangible Cultural Heritage per UNESCO guidelines. The protected status is not legally binding, but it recognizes that the designs are unique to, and originate in, Mixe culture.


Residents of Santa Maria Tlahuitoltepec, in the southwestern state of Oaxaca, claimed that Marant ripped off the traditional red-and-white embroidery of the Mixe people. To Marant's credit, she admitted that the design was originally theirs and pulled the blouse from sale last year. But did so only after artisans, community members and entertainers voiced outrage that Marant, and fellow French label Antik Batik, failed to acknowledge the design's origins.






The shirt, known as a "huipil," is a 600-year-old traditional design of several indigenous communities in Mexico and Central America. Marant's version retailed for as much as $365. Last year, the indigenous rights nonprofit Impacto invited her to visit the Mixe and learn how the blouse was important to their history, according to the Guardian. 


But separately, Antik Batik tried to lay its own copyright claims to the design, and accused Marant of copying them. In December 2015, a French court ruled that neither Isabel Marant nor Antik Batik could copyright huipil shirts because they were a cultural artifact of the Mixe people.


Oaxaca's recent cultural heritage declaration explicitly cites Marant's design from July 2015 as an impetus for action. It states that "she presented, as her own, a traditional blouse of the community of Santa Maria Tlahuitoltepec... and the trial was initiated to protect the garment against a company that wanted to infringe the patent of a traditional design and exploit it for commercial purposes."



This isn't the first time the fashion world has confronted cultural appropriation in recent years. There were last year's "Africa-inspired" Valentino show featuring a mostly-white model cast, and Victoria's Secret's infamous outfitting of model Karlie Kloss in a string bikini and a Native American headdress. On the opposing end, Brazilian designer Oskar Metsavaht showed an innovative solution to the issue when he paid royalties to the Amazonian tribe who inspired designs for his Osklen line.


Cultural appropriation is a perennial hot-button issue in the fashion industry, and while it's true that inspiration from various sources is part of any design process, cultural appropriation is specifically about a power imbalance. "There is always an inherent power imbalance — it is the dominant group taking from a marginalized group," Dr. Adrienne Keene, of the blog Native Appropriations, tells Refinery 29


Oaxaca's decision to recognize Mixe embroidery as cultural heritage is an important symbolic step, but since it is not legally binding, its impact will depend on its enforcement. 


"The UNESCO definition largely has no teeth," Dr. Jane Anderson an anthropology professor at NYU, told the Huffington Post. "While the Oaxaca congress made this declaration, that does not make it legally binding, because Mexico a) is not a signatory to UNESCO's 2003 Convention for the Safeguarding of Intangible Cultural Heritage and b) Mexico has not submitted the Mixe's 'intangible heritage' to the Convention Committee for approval to list."


This doesn't mean it's useless: protection is not as good as a law, but it's better than nothing. It may be enough to deter people from copying the design again, said Anderson. 


Thus, the impact of Oaxaca's declaration will depend on the ongoing engagement of the Mixe community with the fashion world -- a big, potentially exhausting task. The Mixe's unique designs are their intellectual property, and in an ideal world, they should have the right to economically benefit from them. But Anderson said Marant's case was somewhat unique because of the outsize media outcry. "The media attention made it a liability and not a lucrative venture," she said.


What's the way forward from here?


"What would be nice, given that the fashion industry is full of appropriation of indigenous designs, would be the development of some kind of industry standard," suggested Anderson. "It is possible to get change, it just takes a while."

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.











Online Dating: Why You're Not Getting Lucky in Love

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Spring is around the corner and it makes one wonder when the lucky in love train will be arriving.

With the change of seasons, singles are calling and writing in record numbers seeking help and guidance with an achy pain and frustrated feeling.

They're swiping, smiling, flirting, and they're still single. They're wondering what they're doing wrong.

If you feel this way, know that you're not alone. Just like you may do a spring cleaning of your wardrobe and check your medical health at the beginning of the season, it's also time for a digital checkup on the reasons why you're not successful with online dating, or any dating for that matter.

Roman philosopher Seneca said it best when he talked about luck. "Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. " I couldn't agree more.

Just how prepared are you? How much effort are you willing to put towards the process to find love and keep love in your life? Are you waiting for fate to arrive, or are you willing to take matters into your own hands?

Here's an open letter to women to make room in your hearts to find love this season and beyond.

Do any of these sound familiar?


  • I'm unhappy with the quality of matches.

  • I think all guys want to hook up.

  • Online dating and mobile dating feels like too much work.

  • No one responds to my emails.

  • Guys have too many options and are looking for the next great swipe.

  • All he wants to do is text.

  • I don't want to be online for too long.

  • The same people are online that were online last year.




The list goes on.

These gripes and frustrations are coming from both men and women. You see, we've all been there. I can tell you that we are coaching more men these days than women. Guys out there are are serious about finding love and having a meaningful relationship.

They pay for a dating coach, they put the expense and effort into getting new photos taken, they're proactive, and are writing to ten women a day. They put the same effort into online dating to find a partner as they do in getting that promotion at work. They know it can take a moment, a day, a week, or a year. They do the work and they don't complain about it, well not usually.

This is what someone does when they pursue what they're looking for. Seek and ye shall find.

As women, we are trained to wait for the man to find us. It's in our DNA. We don't search as often and we don't send ten emails to men every day. We don't respond first to that mutual match on a mobile dating app. That's too much male energy for us. We think about the guy who couldn't commit, we think about a potential date's height, income, our ex who found a younger girlfriend, and the boyfriend who cheated. There's so much negative thinking going on, that it's impossible to attract someone great. Guys are guilty until proven innocent.

Related: Ladies, Make the First Move Online to Score 2.5 More Dates

These days, if you don't have a mobile dating strategy, you're pretty much not in the game. Not every swipe turns into a match. Not every match turns into a date. Not every date turns into your boyfriend. Not swiping means you just might be waiting and waiting. Next season, you'll be reading this post again waiting for summer to begin, wondering where all the great guys are.

So what are the guys complaining about?


  • Every girl's profile looks the same.

  • Every girl wants a sugar daddy or someone to pay her bills.

  • Women have too many choices and they never write back.

  • We want to sleep with her eventually, but we need to have chemistry.

  • Women are looking for free meals.

  • Women complain about bad dates, ex's, work, and money.

  • She's a serial dater and not looking for something serious.

  • The same people are online that were online last year.



As a Digital Matchmaker and Online Dating Expert for over 20 years, I can tell you that both men and women have the same complaints. They want to connect, they just can't find you. Or if they find you, you don't seem open and available, as you're burned out on digital dating, or still hung up on an ex.

I'm here to tell you that women are allowed to make the first move. This is why both women and men enjoy the new Bumble app, where women make the first move. Women have control over their love lives, rather than waiting for their one in 50 million to arrive. Men are flattered to hear from the women. Guys are frustrated when they constantly keep swiping and writing, with no reply. Yes, matches are being made. It's what happens IRL that can help or hinder the process of getting to a second date and starting a relationship.

Here's the thing, everyone's dating online. No one says they're super-excited to be dating five guys or women a week for 52 weeks. They're hoping their online dating tenure is shorter, rather than longer.

A Pew Internet Research survey on online dating has shown that 30% of women actually enlist the help of someone to write their dating profile. These are the women who are taking it seriously. The same survey also showed that three times the amount of singles 18-24 are using mobile dating apps as compared to two years ago. They also found that online dating use for adults 25-54 has doubled in the same time period. Everyone from your kids to grandma are dating online.

As you write down your long list of what you're looking for and what you're not looking for, I urge you to take any negative words or statements out of your vocabulary, out of your profile, and out of your first few dates. Everyone has a bad day here or there. If you're a walking train wreck, no one will want to date you or fall in love with you. As much as guys say they want a drama-free woman, there is no such thing as a drama-free life.

I urge you to leave the drama behind, leave the novel behind, and go out and be happy. Be the person you'd want to date. Enjoy meeting new people and learning about life outside of your world.

If your profile is filled with deal-breakers and you're saying "don't contact me if...," I promise you, he won't. More tools and dating apps exist now to help you with your search.

Life and love have a bit of luck involved, but it's the effort that you put towards the process that will determine the outcome of your fate.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America's top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She's been coaching singles on how to find love on the Internet for over 20 years. Julie's CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.












10 Beauty Products That Aren't Packed with Chemicals

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Natural and organic beauty products have come a long way since their crunchy beginnings. So we wrangled up ten professionally vetted formulas that look, feel and smell just as luxe as their more conventional counterparts.

Related: 8 Secrets of Women Who Always Look Put Together

Rms Un Cover-Up
Universally loved by makeup artists and celebs alike, this coconut-oil-based concealer melts into skin and covers up any discoloration (dark circles, redness and spots) better than most. We keep the palm-sized tin in our purse at all times for touch-ups.

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Tata Harper Volumizing Lip and Cheer Tint
This pretty little pot packs a ton of natural pigment. From a pale pink to a warm coral, there's a flattering shade for everyone. Dab a light layer on your lips and cheeks for a barely there flush--or layer on liberally for a vibrant pop.

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W3ll People Expressionist Mascara
This fluttery formula defies everything you've ever known (or feared) about natural mascaras. From the densely packed micro bristles to the naturally nourishing ingredients like sunflower extracts, it leaves lashes darker, fuller and not in the least bit clumpy.

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Ilia Silken Shadow Stick
Also known as smoky eyes in a stick. These self-sharpening shadows glide onto lids effortlessly thanks to a blend of argan and sesame oils and leave a subtle shimmer. Add multiple layers to build intensity.

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Herbivore Botanicals Lapis Oil Balancing Facial Oil
A few drops of this calming blend reduces redness--and get this, excess oil--thanks to blue tansy, a powerful anti-inflammatory and antibacterial ingredient that also gives it its tranquil color.

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Drunk Elephant Umbra Sheer Physical Defense SPF 30
Finally, a non-chemical sunscreen that protects skin without leaving any telltale streaks or greasy residue. It also just so happens to be fragrance-free and wears well under makeup, too.

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One Love Organics Antioxidant Body Serum
Moisturizing just got a lot easier thanks to this spray-on serum. Chock-full of hydrating and firming ingredients like pumpkin seed oil, this lightweight liquid sinks into skin immediately, leaving it soft and glistening, but never slick.

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Acure Triple Moisture Repairing Shampoo and Conditioner
Who says organic has to be pricey? At ten bucks a bottle, this sulfate-free shampoo (read: color-safe) lathers nicely and leaves strands super clean and soft. The conditioner is rich but doesn't weigh hair down thanks to highly nourishing (and super absorbent) argan and sea buckthorn oils.

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Goop Perfecting Eye Cream
Gwyneth Paltrow has good taste--and it shows in her new skincare line. The velvety eye cream, in particular, has a whipped consistency that feels incredible on and claims to plump fine lines over time with potent natural ingredients like sweet iris extract.

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Beauty Counter Face Mist
Everything's coming up roses. Packed with this naturally potent (and fragrant) ingredient, this lightweight mist instantly revives skin and day-old makeup. Keep a bottle at your desk and spritz liberally whenever you feel dry.

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Related:

The Brilliant Eyeliner Trick You Haven't Heard Before
8 Beauty Products You Can Replace with Coconut Oil
What to Do If You Have Dandruff and Color-Treated Hair


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Spray-On Nail Polish Just Got Even Cooler

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Photo courtesy of Milk Makeup.

Remember back in November when we reported on Nail Inc.'s new spray-on nail polish and our entire office, along with the rest of the internet, proceeded to lose its freaking mind? Well, we didn't think it was possible, but Milk Makeup is now taking the craze to even wilder extremes with spray-on nail art.

Oh, snap.

The edgy new makeup brand, launched by Milk Studios, is releasing its own version of spray-can polish, along with a collection of nail stencils to help you create intricate designs, cool ombré effects, and even a French manicure (don't laugh, it's making a serious comeback), all with the aim of a nozzle and the press of a button.

The nail design renaissance is showing no signs of slowing down, which is why it makes perfect sense to speed the polishing process up. Milk Makeup is the self-professed friend of the "on-the-go" gal, and nothing says "get out the door" faster than an artsy manicure that you can apply in seconds.

We got our hands on a bottle before it hit the market, and are happy to report that it follows Milk's ethos. The pigment applies easily without any streaks or bubbles -- something that has plagued even the most meticulous polisher. What's more is that it dries super fast and the excess pigment around your nails washes off easily with soap and water. (Full disclosure: You may need a Q-tip with some nail polish remover to get off some of the color that's super close to your nails.) Fun to use and basically foolproof? We're sold.

The polish, priced at $12, is available for pre-sale today on Urban Outfitters. Until you can get your hands on a bottle, we suggest clicking on here to tide you over.



By: Taylor Bryant

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Look to the Kids' Choice for Beautiful Trending Style

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Bob hairstyles ruled the land of green slime and coveted blimps at the 2016 Kids Choice Awards.

Let's take a look first at the ever-beautiful Zendaya. She went to the recent Grammys with her hair short and blonde, but at the Kids' Choice Awards she strolled the Nickelodeon orange carpet in Inglewood, CA, with a longer, soft-waved bob. Her hair was colored a rich brown instead of the blonde. She looks fantastic in both.

Meghan Trainor was still sporting her darker reddish-brown hair, much different from the usual blonde that we've see her in. Her loose waves with the top softly pulled back looks fun, youthful and, yes, it reminds me of the 80s.

Heidi Klum is another one who can look good in just about any cut and color, and she never seems to age! Her hair on the orange carpet was longer with soft waves in a carefree and effortless style. She made it look elegant.

Sarah Hyland also wore the ever so trendy bob, parted down the middle, a great, easy look. And the girls, Fifth Harmony, looked fantastic in long, soft and natural waves, but none of them with a part in the same place!

Mostly the super stars at this epic kids' event wore their hair down. Among those who pulled it up or back were Maddie Ziegler, Peta Murgatroyd and Raini Rodriguez. Kid favorite Rodriquez gathered her dark, curly hair to one side.

To finish it off, Torrie Spelling wowed with a deep side part and soft curls pulled to one side in a romantic blonde look. She finished the ends in a very loose fishtail braid. It was like a couple of styles wrapped into one!

There are so many creative looks that are so easy to achieve right now. This was a terrific showcase for younger, playful looks but, really, we've seen a lot of these styles on the runways and red carpets for the big kids, like the recent Grammys. That's party because we're seeing a lot of carefree, easy looks everywhere.

So, don't be afraid to pull some hair back if you are wearing it down. You can incorporate just about any look to your existing style, like adding a braid or a twist. Move your part for an easy, dramatic change in style. Now is the time, with so many easy, beautiful looks on the runways and red carpets.

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Undeniable Proof That Adele Is EVERY Emoji IRL

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Everyone loves Adele.


She sold close to half a million records just 24 hours after her album dropped and continued to smash sales records across the board. No matter where you turn, Adele seems to be there. But what if the extent of her presence has not even been realized ... until now?  


Adele is actually the emojis that you know, love and use on the daily. Don’t believe us? Here’s the evidence.


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The Game-Changing Product Missing From Your Hair Routine

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We know what you're thinking: Another step to add to our already laborious beauty regimens? But if gorgeous, healthy hair is what you're after, consider a pre-shampoo treatment your new necessity.

These products can do it all, from priming your tresses before coloring to hydrating heat-damaged strands and even protecting your hair from other products.

"Frequent shampooing and use of hair products have a tendency of stripping the hair of necessary oils, which results in a lack of body and shape," says colorist Christophe Robin. "That's why pre-shampoo treatments are important. They help protect, restore moisture, and ultimately improve hair texture."

Celebrity hairstylist Jen Atkin agrees, adding, "Shampoos can often be too harsh on damaged or fine hair types, so a pre-shampoo treatment does wonders to protect the hair." So while adding this step does cost you an extra 10 or 20 minutes, it's clearly well worth the time (after all, you can always let the product work its magic as you binge on House of Cards, exfoliate, make a cup of coffee, or do 1,000 other things).

Read on for nine treatments specifically formulated to cater to every hair concern.

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For Color-Treated Hair
If your dry, color-treated strands need some TLC, look no further than Christophe Robin's Moisturizing Hair Oil with Lavender, composed with nourishing natural oils. "Made with SPF 6 protection, the formula helps you avoid breakage and wear -- and protects the color for a long time," Robin says. It's also made without ceramides, keratin, or silicone, which, according to Robin, "choke hair and make it impossible for good nutrients to penetrate."

How to Use: Before shampooing, apply the oil onto your hair, on the ends and the delicate part along your hairline. Brush through, letting the oil soak in. Leave on from one hour to overnight. Tip: We love applying this formula before hitting the gym.

Christophe Robin Moisturizing Hair Oil with Lavender, $47, available at Sephora.

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For Aging/Fine Hair
Fun fact: Your hair health starts to deteriorate as you age -- which is where Living Proof's new pre-shampoo treatment comes in. While it's great for helping seal in color, the formula is also designed to strengthen your strands (the brand claims that one use can help reduce breakage by 85%). The lightweight treatment is particularly useful for those with thinner hair, since it won't weigh down your locks.

How to Use: Apply to dry hair about five minutes before shampooing, every time you wash your hair.

Living Proof Timeless Pre-Shampoo Treatment, $26, available at Living Proof.

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For Oily Hair
It may sound weird to apply a conditioner before shampoo -- especially if you have oily hair. But Hair Food's cleansing conditioner can give your hair just the right amount of moisture, without overly conditioning and leaving you with greasy-looking locks. "Applying shampoo afterward will reduce any coating, but leave light conditioning effects," says celebrity hairstylist Rebekah Forecast. "There are other advantages, too. Those with fine hair who shy away from using conditioner because they want volume can use this as a pre-shampoo treatment."

How to Use: One to three times a week, massage three or four pumps into wet hair, lather with shampoo, and rinse out.

Clairol Hair Food Honey Apricot Cleansing Conditioner, $9.99, available at Target.

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For Dull/Fine Hair
Philip Kingsley's Elasticizer was originally developed for Audrey Hepburn, who needed a moisturizing treatment that wouldn't add weight and flatten her fine hair, and it's an industry favorite to this day. The formula's intensely hydrating combination of castor oil, glycerin, and olive oil works to enhance shine, increase elasticity, and give your hair that sought-after bounce.

How to Use: Once or twice a week, work the treatment into damp hair with your fingertips. Cover with a plastic cap and leave on for around 20 minutes before rinsing and following with shampoo and conditioner.

Philip Kingsley Elasticizer Pre-Shampoo Treatment, $49, available at Net-A-Porter.

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For Frizzy Hair
Swimmers know that chlorine dehydrates and damages hair, leaving it dry and frizzy -- not ideal if you're after smooth, shiny locks. Leonor Greyl's waterproof oil treatment, made with deeply hydrating mongongo oil, is supposed to protect your hair from contact with water up to a temperature of about 77 degrees Fahrenheit. Not a swimmer? You can still use it to smooth frizz and get silky-smooth results. "I recommend this for clients with over-processed and dry hair," says Anh Co Tran of Ramirez/Tran Salon. "It softens hair and improves overall hair health."

How to Use: Apply the oil to dry hair and evenly distribute using a natural-bristle brush. Leave it on for five to 10 minutes or overnight, and shampoo out. Use it as many times as you usually shampoo.

Leonor Greyl L'Huile de Leonor Greyl, $60, available at Net-A-Porter.


For the rest of our picks, visit Refinery29.

By: Tiffany Tse

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Why Are So Many Fashion Houses Run By Men?

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PHOTO: NEIL RASMUS/BFANYC.COM/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK.
Nicolas Ghesquier

Diversity in the fashion industry is one topic of conversation that is often brought up. Each season, we praise designers who feature more inclusive casting when it comes to body diversity, fawn over unusual stories of model discovery, and tally the number of women of color cast for shows while inquiring whether or not fashion has a race problem (and with a slew of all-white runways plaguing last week's collections in Paris, the answer, unfortunately, seems to be yes). But amidst this discussion of parity in all areas of the industry, there is a less-asked question that takes the conversation off the catwalk and into the design studios and ateliers. In a field that seems to be so driven by the spending habits of women (not men) -- not to mention the fact that this is womenswear we're talking about, not menswear -- why aren't more women running the houses built by women?

In the early part of the 20th century (and the few years that preceded it), the industry wasn't saturated with designers, ideas, or an unsustainable amount of collections. A group of women in France saw this room for creativity and innovation, and sought to make fashion their own. Back then, they were specialists, each finding their niche in what the style world was lacking, while simultaneously designing items women weren't traditionally "meant" to wear. Today, these names -- Jeanne Lanvin (1889), Coco Chanel (1909), Madeleine Vionnet (1912), Elsa Schiaparelli (1927), Nina Ricci (1932), and Marie-Louise Carven (1945) -- and the eponymous labels they opened are regarded as pioneers. These women were tired of the clothing options available, saw a business opportunity, and decided to do it for themselves.

This season, this notion of "tiredness" has resurfaced; there's been talk of exhaustion between designers. And the query of how high fashion can be modernized, or rather, actually wearable, for women today has also been been discussed. Certain designers in Paris did just that (or, at least, presented collections that felt to be on that track): newly minted Demna Gvasalia, at Balenciaga, was one; J.W. Anderson, at Loewe, another. These men were able to achieve what the aforementioned women did nearly 100 years ago. Yet the lack of women making these advancements is startling, as is the association the labels have earned with their respective creative director. When the name Lanvin comes to mind, many immediately consider its former creative director, Alber Elbaz. The same can be said for Nina Ricci and Guillaume Henri, or Vionnet and Hussein Chalayan. It's problematic that so many don't even realize that these companies were, in fact, started by women -- or that the designs and aesthetics we consume today are continuations of the values and aesthetic each founder instilled.


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PHOTO: GIOVANNI GIANNONI/ WWD/REX/ SHUTTERSTOCK.
Karl Lagerfeld

It isn't necessarily a problem, men designing for women. After all, some of the most successful legacy brands were founded by men (think Givenchy, Louis Vuitton, Yves Saint Laurent). The issue, however, lays in the fact that somewhere along the way, fashion seemed to lose its feminist direction. Somehow, an industry that caters so specifically to women and the female body has, ironically, become less inclusive than it was at the turn of the century. Of the 92 shows on the Paris Fashion Week womenswear schedule, less than 30 have female creative directors at the helm.

Women like Miuccia Prada, Stella McCartney, Phoebe Philo, and Rei Kawakubo, for example, have utilized their creative leadership to progress how people think and talk about clothing. But when a position becomes available at these big, grand, Parisian ateliers, not often are these names thrown around (or not anywhere near as much as their male contemporaries, like Riccardo Tisci or Raf Simons). Fashion as a place for women, not just selling to women, feels like it has a long way to go.

However, Friday's hiring of designer Bouchra Jarrar at Lanvin felt like a breath of fresh air; a signifier that the industry could be on the verge of a revival. Jarrar designs with women in mind -- not for a male gaze and not for a gay male gaze, either. She designs for women who move, work, consume, create, and want to look beautiful while doing it. She has a reputation as a luxury designer who understands that not all luxury consumers necessarily live (or want to live) that white-gloved luxury lifestyle. Bringing the over 100-year-old house back to its female roots, her appointment could potentially be the first move the industry (and 21st century) needs to open its doors to female talent once again.

By: Erin Cunningham

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Pink-Haired Waitress Stiffed: 'Tips Are Only For Normal-Looking People'

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A waitress in Des Moines, Iowa, was stiffed on a tip by a customer who had a beef with her pink hair.


Taelor May Beeck was working at Zombie Burger on Tuesday when one of her customers came to settle a $17.26 tab.


But the customer didn't leave a gratuity -- just a gratuitous insult, according to the Des Moines Register.


The receipt read: "Tips are only for normal looking people." 



The pink-haired waitress saw red.


“At first, I felt really upset, I felt attacked, I almost felt like I was back in middle school all over again, like being bullied," she told WHO-TV. "I felt like a burning anger inside of me."


Beeck didn't confront the customer because she decided it's not worth it.


"When someone puts hate out there, you know to respond in a hateful way will do no good," she told the station.


Still, she did post the receipt on Facebook, although it's since been removed.


Beeck has worked at Zombie Burger for five years, and her employers have nothing but good things to say about her.


Orchestrate Hospitality, which owns Zombie Burger, issued a statement singing her praises, according to the Associated Press.



"We believe that zombie burger is a place that celebrates individuality. We are in 100% support of our staff and we're confident that our customers will be as well. She is an example of a great team member and we are standing by her."



Beeck is going public with her experience in hopes of turning it into a teachable moment.


"I would tell them to not judge someone based on what they look like," she told KWWL TV. "I mean, I may look like a weirdo but I'm actually a very nice, decent person. It's the way that I can express myself artistically and it's really important for me that I'm allowed to do that, and it's OK if people don't understand it because it's just who I am."

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The Threes in Comfort: Standing, Sitting and Sleeping

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In a 24-hour period we are either standing, sleeping or standing and if our bodies are not supported properly while in each of these positions eventually it could lead to chronic pain. The areas that are the most affected in our bodies are the neck, back, hips, legs and feet. Regardless of which one of these three we are doing, being supported and comfortable so our body does not break down and develop physical problems is extremely important.

Sleeping on an uncomfortable mattress and using the wrong pillows are contributing factors in developing neck, shoulder, upper and lower back pain. Sleeping on a hard or soft mattress or using hard or soft pillows may be a trigger to causing pain in your neck and back. Since you spend thousands of hours on a mattress in a life time if your back is not properly supported the muscles in the upper and lower back can go into spasm causing chronic pain, numbness and tingling in your extremities. If you are one of the many thousands who suffer from back pain or have had back surgery finding the right mattress to sleep on is imperative and often challenging. Proper sleeping habits should start when you are young and not take youth for granted.

Sitting is the next position that we spend a lot of time doing in our life time and if you are not sitting in supportive and comfortable seat cushions that could eventually trigger positional body problems. Sitting in uncomfortable, unsupported chairs at work or home can fatigue muscles in the low back and pelvic area and can trigger back and hip problems. This can cause disc compression in your low back resulting in muscle spasms, numbness or tingling in your lower extremities.

Often times you do not realize that how unsupported your sitting and sleeping environment is because soft is comfortable.

The last and most important of the three S's is standing. The floor surfaces we stand on and the shoes we wear day to day can really wear you down. The environment we walk or stand on is unchangeable however the footwear we wear is. If your profession is sales, standing on concrete or tile floors at trade shows or work for 8 -10 hours a day can be very uncomfortable. Wearing footwear such as high heels, sandals or flats on these surfaces can create a tremendous amount of stress in your entire body which will especially impact the muscles in your legs, feet and low back. Those types of floor surfaces are unforgiving and will ultimately fatigue the muscles.

The combination of long hours on your feet, hard floor surfaces and uncomfortable shoes can aggravate any type of lower extremity or low back problem.

Some of the more common foot problems related to wearing high heels, sandals and flats while standing for long periods of time on concrete floors are arch pain, tired feet, plantar fasciitis, heel pain and muscle cramping.

Fixing the three S's is obvious and easy if you experience any type of pain or discomfort from them. Buying a new mattress that is more supportive and comfortable, replacing the foam in the cushions in your sofas and chairs is less expensive than purchasing new ones.

Stretching exercises are important for you to do daily in order to prevent tight muscles in your feet, legs and low back.

The one that is the easiest to fix is footwear. Over the counter arch supports, cushioned insoles or custom orthotics will support and cushion your feet from standing for prolonged periods of time on any floor surface when wearing your work shoes. Finding arch supports for your high heels may be a challenge because of the pitch of the shoe. It is hard to find ones that can fit properly; they can be big and bulky. Look for ones that fit in the arch of the shoe and do not take up much room. Google key words such as arch support, orthotics, instant arch support, foot insoles, arch support high heels and arch support sandals for those who wear backless sandals to work.

Standing, sitting and sleeping are daily things we take for granted! What we do not always think about is how uncomfortable we are doing them. Support your three S's and you will live happily ever after in less pain!

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Michelle Obama Serves Style On Our Best-Dressed List

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Is it just us, or is Michelle Obama's style even more on point than usual these days? Last week, FLOTUS wowed at the state dinner and this week, she stormed SXSW in one of her best looks yet.


And she wasn't the only star who served style this week. Naomi Watts shone in a sparkly Derek Lam ensemble, Kerry Washington was the perfect mix of sugar and spice and Emma Roberts took casual dressing to a new level. 


Check out the best-dressed stars of the week and let us know which one is your favorite. 


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A Duchess After Our Own Hearts: Kate Shops At A Thrift Store In An Old Blue Coat

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The Duchess of Cambridge is the queen of outfit repeating. So her latest duty, helping to officially open a charity consignment shop, is especially fitting.  


The "thrifty" royal -- you may remember her as Kate Middleton -- marked the opening of East Anglia's Children's Hospices' newest shop in Norfolk Friday wearing a blue Missoni coat she's worn three times before since debuting it in 2012 for, you guessed it, a visit to another store.



Paired with a blue dress that fan sites identified as Zara, the duchess, who is royal patron of the charity, participated in a ribbon cutting ceremony. In true girl-after-our-own-hearts form, she made the store's very first purchase. 










The EACH charity shops, which have locations across east England, benefit children facing life-threatening issues and their families. 

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The 'Booby Trap' Sports Bra Holds A Knife Or Pepper Spray For Emergencies

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The name may sound silly, but Booby Trap Bra could help you -- and your chest -- feel seriously confident during your next run. 


The sports bras have special pockets to hold either a small knife or pepper spray close to your bosom for self-defense: 





Jennifer Cutrona, a mother of two, said she invented the Booby Trap bras after she was assaulted during a trail run near her Texas home. The bras come in editions that hold either pepper spray or a knife, storing the self-defense tools for quick responses should anything happen on the road. 


And with soft nylon neoprene material, they're bound to make your boobies feel safe, too. 


The Just In Case Pepper Spray Bra retails for $49.99, and the Just In Case Knife Bra is $54.99. Pepper spray and small rescue knives are sold separately on the Booby Trap Bras website. 


Stay safe, stylish ones!

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Bella Hadid Wears Nothing But Jewelry For Harper's Bazaar Spain

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OK, we need to talk about this photoshoot for Harper's Bazaar Spain featuring Bella Hadid, the mag's April 2016 cover star.


It's news to no one that Gigi's little sis, who has emerged as a top model in her own right, is stunning. Yet it becomes more clear with each photoshoot she does or runway she walks that she has the star power to match that of her sister (and her supermodel mom, for that matter, too).


Just look at this photo of Hadid wearing nothing but jewelry and slicked-back hair:



By @txemayeste for @harpersbazaares

A photo posted by Bella Hadid (@bellahadid) on




Who looks that good with wet hair?


There was some major underboob:



By @txemayeste in Paris @harpersbazaares

A photo posted by Bella Hadid (@bellahadid) on




Not to mention that face:




Seriously. Look. At. That. Face.



A photo posted by Bella Hadid (@bellahadid) on




To quote our beloved Rihanna, work, work, work, work, work. 



New Harper's Bazaar Spain cover!! Thank You @harpersbazaares shot by @txemayeste by @juancebrian

A photo posted by Bella Hadid (@bellahadid) on



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