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A video posted by Véronique Hyland (@niquepeeks) on Jul 11, 2016 at 1:27pm PDT

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When to Jump,  an independent media partner of The Huffington Post, is a curated community featuring the ideas and stories of people who have made the decision to leave something comfortable and chase a passion.

I was 14 when people started telling me that I should model. While I was flattered, my heart was already set on being a journalist or a psychologist.

People responded to my disinterest in modeling by trying even harder to convince me that I would be successful. It’s as if they thought that no one in her right mind would reject modeling unless she was insecure. I argued that I wanted to make an impact in the world, but was told my best shot at that would come from being a famous model first. People insisted that I would attain more influence selling my beauty than my skills, and that my appearance was my smartest investment.

I ignored them at first. I auditioned for debate team. I was proud to have made it, until I overheard the coach ask “how the heck Barbie made the team.” Then, when I won “best math student,” friends said that it was because the teacher had a crush on me.

It started to feel like no matter how hard I worked, my exterior was all I would be recognized for.

To make matters worse, a friend stopped talking to me because her boyfriend hit on me. Another friend admitted she didn’t like going out with me because she felt insecure around me. I caught myself automatically assuming that other women wouldn’t like me. I constantly apologized and found ways to put myself down. I felt isolated, so I turned even more to external validation.

I decided to start modeling after all. I was 17 when I signed to my first agency. They said, “The more you watch what you eat, the more defined your bone structure will be, and the more jobs you will book.” I was already underweight.

At one of my first modeling shoots, the photographer insisted that I shoot topless and was offended when I refused. Another colleague told me that he could get me onto Vogue if I slept with him. He told me I’d never make it in modeling if I wasn’t willing to make “sacrifices.”

I started looking at my body differently—like it was my only shot at having the life I wanted. It was no longer just my vehicle to experience life. It was my livelihood. My worth depended on it.

One day, after leaving a casting where the models were rail-thin, I went to the bathroom and saw how my thighs spread out over the toilet seat. “Not thin enough,” I thought. I pulled up my shirt and saw how my stomach rolled when I bent over. “Not allowed,” I thought.

I was already restricting. The realization that I would have to restrict even more hit me like a ton of bricks. I cried and hyperventilated in the bathroom stall. From then on, I ate less. 

I’d frequently check the back of my thighs in the mirror. If I saw dimples, I’d eat even less. I’d bend over. If my skin rolled, I’d eat even less. I could no longer connect with others or enjoy experiences because I was constantly in my head, analyzing how many calories I took in and burned.

I soon was diagnosed with anorexia. My doctor told me that my body had begun to eat away at my liver. My agency told me that I looked great. A friend jokingly asked if my agency paid me to not eat, since that was clearly part of the job. If not eating was part of the job, then I worked non-stop to deny my hunger signals and trick myself out of needing to consume calories.

I got paid to go to parties where all the men were successful and all the women were beautiful. At one party, naked women were spray-painted in gold with lampshades over their heads. They were paid to be there and weren’t allowed to speak. I understood then that beauty gets auctioned, like public property. It goes to the highest bidder.

I began to see myself as a commodity. Something to consume. Subject to the uncaring laws of supply and demand. I was afraid that if I was not thin and beautiful, I would be worth less. I became dependent on external validation. I equated myself with my exterior. My appearance was no longer a small part of me. It was me. I beat myself up striving for physical perfection because it felt like all I had. 

Realizing what was happening, I quit modeling. This, along with support, meditation, therapy, coaching, and pursuing my passions, helped me recover.

I began publicly speaking about my eating disorder, sharing my story and giving others tools to be at peace with their bodies. People told me that someone who is beautiful doesn’t have a right to speak about these issues. They told me, “Of course you’re at peace. It’s easy for you.”

It was not easy for me. Being beautiful never made me love myself. Believing that beauty was all I had was terrifying. I felt that if I lost it, I would no longer be loved or valuable. Beauty had nothing to do with my effort or ability, yet it was the thing I was recognized for most, so I clung to it. 

Being told, “You are beautiful” from a young age was not liberating for me. Often, it was confining and isolating. It was confusing to not be able to distinguish the difference between my outer and inner worth. 

I finally realized that beauty is not who I am. I am not reduced to some thing. Nor do I have any obligation to be beautiful for anyone. Beautiful is not the best thing that I can be. It does not make life easy. It does not make me worthy. It does not guarantee peace. Peace earned through external means is not peace. It is vanity. Peace, happiness, love and fulfillment have no beauty standards.
Realizing that there is no true correlation between being beautiful and having a life I love gave me the freedom to not have to be beautiful. Now, I get to just be me.

Need help? Call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237. 

***

When to Jump, an independent media partner of The Huffington Post, is a curated community featuring the ideas and stories of people who have made the decision to leave something comfortable and chase a passion. You can follow When to Jump on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. For more stories like this one, sign up for the When to Jump newsletter here. (Note: The When to Jump newsletter is not managed by The Huffington Post.)

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New York Fashion Week’s five day men’s-only celebration of shows, presentations and parties, wrapped up on Friday.

While there were definitely some solid showings from designers such as Todd Snyder, Tommy Hilfiger, John Varvatos and Thorsum, the week was not without its weirdos.

The shows showcased the brands’ Spring/Summer 2017 collections. Here they are ― we can’t wait to see some of these on the streets (but we’re not holding our breath).

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SPECIAL FROM Next Avenue




By Pat Pattison

The wind is cutting icy cold across my face as I drive my convertible down the mountain road. My “wife,” who I only met today, is in the passenger seat, pointing out the scenery. A man in the back seat is holding some cords and another is almost hanging out of the car, making it hard for me to steer. He’s pointing a long camera lens at my “wife” and repeatedly asking her to smile.

Suddenly, the man hanging over the edge of the car says: “I think we’ve got what I need, but just in case, let’s turn around and drive down the road one more time.” It’s our sixth time at it. Later, my “wife” and I sit on a rock, hold hands and look off into the sunset as a crew of 10 crowd around and give us direction.

Just a typical workday for me as a senior print model. And I love it!

Today, I was cast as a “retired man” for a senior living services agency. The woman cast as my wife and I will both be paid about $1,000, each minus a commission for our agents. Not bad — plus we had some fun in the mountains.

Maybe you can do it, too.

All in a Day’s Work

I’ve been a print model now for about six years (in an earlier Next Avenue story, I wrote about how I became a TV star at 55). Print is the kind of modeling done for newspapers, magazines, brochures and billboards. The way it works is my agent gets me the audition, I show up, pose, get some photos taken (along with a bunch of other men in my age range) and then wait to see if I got the job. If I’m lucky enough to be cast, my agent sends a congratulations email and tells me more about the job as well as where and when to show up.

There’s a lot of rejection, so you have to be patient. I probably get cast on about one out of every 10 auditions. But I’m fine with those odds.

Senior modeling is a gas, and lets me pocket some nice extra cash, too. Turns out, I’m part of a trend. My wonderful agent Carol Scott at CESD in Los Angeles tells me she alone represents more than 100 models who are 50+. The oldest one is 85.

And it looks like the need for older print models is only going to grow as America ages. For this profession, your age is an asset for a change!

5 Steps to become a ‘Senior’ Print Model

If you’d like to become a “senior” print model, plan to make a small investment and follow the five steps below. One caveat: It helps to be in or near a big city.

1. Determine if you have the time. If you really want to do this, you have to be realistic about the time commitment. I usually go out on at least one audition a week and a shoot can take at least a full day — sometimes two.

2, Get a good headshot. Spend the money and hire a pro; figure on shelling out $200 to $400. (The Backstage website has a good directory of headshot photographers.) My agent told me that a headshot is the most important thing you need to get started. And don’t settle for a snapshot by a friend or an amateur. Even if you don’t get a modeling gig, you can use the picture for your Facebook page or that dating service you were thinking about signing up for.

3. Take a commercial acting class, if you can find one, and know your “type.” Although we are talking about print modeling, a commercial acting class (again, about $200 to $400) is a good way to get comfortable in front of a camera, as well as learning how to take direction. These classes can also help you get beyond being shy and self-conscious, not to mention a fine place to meet people. Here, too, Backstage has a directory.

Commercial acting classes will also help you figure out your “type” for getting cast as a print model. Are you an active athletic senior? A friendly grandpa or grandma? A medical patient? An ethnic senior? (There’s a shortage of that last type, my agent says.)

4. Sign up for a casting service, if you can. This can be especially helpful if you don’t yet have an agent. Most major cities have online casting services for print modeling and commercial acting; they cost about $30 a month and are where you’ll get your first jobs.

5. Get an agent, if you can. This step may take a while, and not everyone is able to interest an agent. The top agencies are pretty picky because if you don’t get cast, they don’t make a commission. The best way to get an agent: find an online directory of print modeling agents in your city and mail a letter and headshot. Many agencies also let you submit yourself for representation online.

Don’t tell yourself you won’t get work based on your looks. The ad industry wants all types and “real people.” Sometimes, the more of a “character look” you have, the more in demand you’ll be.

Personally, I can’t wait to see who my next “wife” will be.

Read more from Next Avenue:

What to do when your grown kid won’t talk to you

What loneliness is doing to your heart

The 10 best places in the world to retire

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Talk about throwing in the towel (charm).

That’s My Towel, the business venture of our potential future second lady, Karen Pence, garnered attention over the weekend by outlets like Jezebel and Fortune for its sheer absurdity and essential pointlessness.

The $6.25-a-pop charms promise to settle the pandemonium amongst beach-goers who are the victims of owning similar looking towels. The charms, as Jezebel’s Ellie Shechet so poignantly points out, solve “a number of problems that do not exist, or problems so insignificant that they might as well not exist.”

But the website and its 33-person-followed Twitter account have, since news of the business broke, been made inactive, leaving just a cryptic “Thank you for your interest in Towel Charms. The business is currently on hold” message in its wake. It’s a tragedy for those five families who actually have a towel mix-up issue in their homes, and also for those of us who might have wanted to buy a few as collectors items.

Well, Karen Pence, We. Need. Answers. Where has the business gone? Is it coming back in time for our next beach trip? When will the madness end?

While the world waits with bated breath, we have a few ideas of our own about the reason for its too-soon-departure: 

1. Karen Pence is far too busy following the Kim Kardashian/Kanye West/Taylor Swift drama to focus her energy on anything else:

Join the club of people who should be focusing their energy on real problems but can’t seem to stop replaying the video of that phone call, Karen.

2. Mike Pence realized he has already been subject to enough embarrassment this month: 

3. She’s gearing up to launch her newest product, “That’s My Pillowcase!”

“Laundry will never be the same!”

4. She accidentally re-routed Kylie Jenner’s lip-kit site to her site and it couldn’t handle the traffic.

Oops!

5. She finally gave in and bought a new, non-matching set of beach and bath towels.

What a novel concept.

6. She’s gearing up to throw a re-launch party with new themed charms at the Republican Convention this week.

Or, most likely:

7. She realized she is the only person with a towel complex.

We’ll be sure to update this pressing story as more information becomes available. 

The Huffington Post has reached out to Karen Pence for comment.

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Actor, TV host and makeup artist Paolo Ballesteros is taking makeup transformations to a fantastical new level. 

The 33-year-old Filipino man, who first impressed us with his Kardashian-inspired makeovers, is making waves online again. This time, he’s taking cues from HBO’s medieval fantasy epic “Game of Thrones.” Ballesteros has shared a series of photos on Instagram showing himself done up as the ladies of Westeros, and the results are amazing. 

Using only makeup, he’s managed to transform himself into everyone from Daenerys Targaryen to Sansa Stark to Cersei Lannister and others. Meanwhile, we’re over here trying to figure out how to conceal our dark under-eye circles. 

Check out some of his amazing transformations below: 

Margaery Tyrell

Sansa Stark

Cersei Lannister

Daenerys Targaryen

Brienne of Tarth

To see more of Ballesteros impressive transformations, check out his Instagram page. 

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We have to hand it to him, this guy is pretty talented.

Watch the incredible transformation as French artist Jordan Molina — aka TutoDraw — morphs his hand from seemingly normal body part to animated and lifelike character.

Once complete, the hand/face moves with ease, dancing around the screen and acting as a mask for someone in the video.

Be sure to watch this clip to the end, since the music that goes along with the sad process of washing the makeup off is pretty hilarious. 

Molina has a couple other tricks up his sleeve, which you can check out on Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.

This one, which is admittedly a bit gruesome, is definitely one of our favorites.

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Every election cycle, the candidates seem inescapable. But this year, you literally cannot escape Donald Trump, because the guy’s hair is everywhere.

Like the fibonacci sequence, Trump’s hair (the only candidate in history whose hair is worthy of an honest to god thesaurus) is visually, subliminally perhaps, everywhere you look.

The pictures below were found by using variations of the #Trumphair hashtag. They prove that, no matter where you look ― a stormy sky, an adorable duckling, even your cheeseburger, for crying out loud ― you will see Trump’s abandoned nest, ginger forest, male equivalent of a push-up bra hair instead.

Editor’s note: Donald Trump regularly incites political violence and is a serial liar, rampant xenophobe, racist, misogynist and birther who has repeatedly pledged to ban all Muslims ― 1.6 billion members of an entire religion ― from entering the U.S.

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Off-the-shoulder shirts are clearly the trend of the summer and we are totally on board. Not only are they adorable, they also add a touch of boho flair to any look. Plus showing off your shoulders is pretty fun -- just be sure to avoid getting major bathing suit tan lines before you do ;) We decided to make an off-the-shoulder shirt and found it to be surprisingly easy. Keep reading for the instructions and then get ready to make these for your entire squad.

Materials and Tools:
-- fabric
-- elastic
-- pins
-- sewing machine
-- iron

Instructions:

1. Measure your chest, around your bicep and the length of your torso.

2. Cut two pieces of fabric - one for the front of the shirt and one for the back. These pieces need to account for the elastic so cut them slightly wider than your chest measurement. Also, you'll be folding over the top to create a loop for your elastic to go through, so make the length of the fabric at least two inches longer than you want the shirt to be.

3. Cut out two rectangles (one for each arm) that are larger than the measurement of your bicep. You don't want the sleeves to be too tight around your arms, so add 2-3 inches to your measurement.

4. Lay out your fabric. Stack the two pieces for the body of the shirt on top of each other. Fold the fabric for your arms in half and line them up against the sides of your shirt, even with the top.

5. Pin the sleeves to the body of the shirt, then pin down the sides of the body. Pull the bottom inch of the sleeve away from the side of the shirt and pin that together. This way the sleeves aren't completely attached and you'll have some room to lift your arms.

6. Turn the shirt inside out and sew along the pinned lines.

7. Hem the bottom of the shirt and the bottom edge of the sleeves.

8. Cut a piece of elastic that is an inch shorter than double your chest measurement. This way the elastic will stretch a bit when you put on the shirt.

9. Fold the top edge of the shirt over the elastic to measure the size of the loop you need. Pin and sew in place, leaving a space to add the elastic, then thread the elastic through the loop. Sew the ends of the elastic together and close the opening.

10. Turn your shirt right side out and you're done!

Get your measurements and mark them down so you don't forget. If you want your shirt to have a bit of flare, give it more of an A shape. Cut out pieces of fabric that will comfortably fit around your arm.

Let's put this shirt together.

Lay out the pieces and pin everything together, making sure to separate the very bottom of the sleeves from the side of the shirt.

Turn the shirt inside out and sew along the pins.

Hem the bottom edge of the shirt and the sleeves. Use your iron to make the hem easier to sew.

Time to add the elastic. Cut a piece that is slightly smaller than double your chest measurement (to account for your front and back). You want it to stretch a little when it's on your body so that the shirt stays on. Now use the elastic to measure the size of the loop you need. Pin and sew, leaving an opening to send the elastic through. Add the elastic and sew the ends together.

Close the gap, turn your shirt right side out and that's a wrap!

For more summer style inspiration, follow us on Pinterest.

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After a survey done by a British site got a lot of your britches tied up in knots over the idea that you could be too old to wear skinny jeans or long hair, we decided to peek in on Twitter ― not always known for loving on those with the audacity to age. We wanted to see what posters there had to say on the topic of how older people dress. And while we do have a sense of humor, can’t we just call an ageist an ageist and be done with it? For example:

Note to Connor:  We think you mean collared shirts. Although if it’s collard greens, we kind of feel you. (And if you insist on insulting people, learn to spellcheck.)

Nothing wrong with a little color, kids.

Does that mean she’s cool or not?

Popcorn sweaters never go out of style. 

Now you’re just being mean. #HatersGonnaHate

And you know this how exactly?

Right. Much better to have your pants hanging so low I can see your butt crack.

When your feet hurt, that’s when. Or if you’re smart, before your feet start hurting.

And lastly, who wants to break the news to her?

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Hell hath no fury like a Fabletics customer scorned. Just ask Cher.

You may recall last year’s outpouring of outrage surrounding Fabletics, the Kate Hudson-touted athletic wear brand which many unhappy customers took to task over its allegedly shady business practices and scamming behavior.

Well, it took almost a full year, but the songstress/Twitter extraordinaire finally graced the world Monday with her 140 characters on the matter:

“Made mistake of going2 Fabletics.What a pain in the ass. won’t even let u see anything Till u give them ur 1st born !! Felt I Was Being Conned,” she wrote.

Cher joins a long list of people who have claimed the site is hard to navigate, have had issues canceling the subscription service and generally felt scammed by the brand. No word on whether Cher purchased anything on the site, but we have a feeling we’ll hear all about it by way of Twitter if and when she does.

I’mma let you finish, Kanye, Kim and Taylor, but Cher and Fabletics are having the best celebrity feud of the day (even if it’s only a one-way feud).

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There’s something to be said about keeping it classic, but why does your wedding band have to simply be white gold or yellow gold, or the predictable combination of white diamonds and metal? There are so many more options out there! 

The women’s wedding bands below mix it up in the best possible way. Check them out.

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Step aside, Donald Trump and your never-changing hair.

There’s something else in the Trump family that has gone largely unchanged over the years, and we must discuss: the expression on Melania Trump’s face.

As Melania prepared to speak at the Republican National Convention on Monday, we did some photo research. And it seems that in the 17 years since she met Trump, the look on her face has stayed exactly the same. Whether with Donald or without, hanging out with Lil’ Kim, on red carpets or sitting front row at fashion week, there is no situation in which the 46-year-old shows any sign of age, emotion or teeth, for that matter.

The distinct look ― eyes a bit squinted, lips slightly pursed, always looking just a teeny bit angry ― is one thing, but it’s her actual face: Seemingly unchanged in 17 years, that blows our minds. Mrs. Trump has publicly slammed Botox, but let’s face it, folks: The United States’ potential first lady has a face carved from marble. 

Perhaps it’s her now defunct, caviar-infused skincare line. Or maybe it’s her years of modeling and honing her craft over many a red carpet appearance. Whatever the reason, there’s no denying her smizing prowess.

Need proof? Behold, 17 years of Melania and her perfectly posed face taking the world by storm.

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This year’s annual CurlFest in Brooklyn, New York, was a magical display of bold and beautiful natural hairstyles. 

The Curly Girl Collective kicked off the first festival, which aimed to celebrate natural hair, in 2014 and in June it attracted thousands of men and women of color from all walks of life who came out to celebrate their hair and heritage. 

From picked-out ‘fros to long, luscious locs, people of all backgrounds showed up at Brooklyn’s Prospect Park to dance the day away, connect with various vendors and mingle with other members of the natural hair community. 

“This is like black girl heaven to me,” image activist Michaela Angela Davis told The Huffington Post. “We’re wearing our hair our and happy. I feel like I’ve dropped into a bouquet of beautiful black flowers.” 

The festival was filled with friends and families, many of whom also brought their kids to help embrace the cultural experiences that were exposed through the event. 

“Something like this is great because visually, it allows our children to see a standard of beauty that centers on us,” one mom told HuffPost at the event. “But also, just culturally, to be in an environment where black people are working and loving each other, it’s just a powerful thing.”  

Watch the HuffPost Rise video above to learn more about this year’s CurlFest and some of the attendees who joined in on the celebration. 

This video was shot by Shane Handler, produced by Choyce Miller and edited by Chai Dingari for HuffPost Rise.

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