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Warm Temperatures Bring Hot Deals On Winter Gear

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The weirdly warm winter temperatures across much of the country are chilling news for some retailers, as unsold cold weather gear piles up on shelves.

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Why This Gay Man With Cerebral Palsy Is Taking Off His Clothes

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Ryan O'Connell, a writer known for his work in Thought Catalog, recently sat down with StyleLikeU to discuss the nuances of being a gay man who lives with cerebral palsy. His interview is part of a larger series called "What's Underneath," which looks at queer influencers and how their identity shapes their experiences as they take off their clothes to show that's it's who you are -- not what you wear -- that really matters.


O'Connell's interview covers a wide berth of subjects, including the tokenization of diversity in the media, the intersection of sexuality and disability and our culture's addiction to prescription pills, among other things.


“When I found out I was gay at 13, I thought: That’s a wrap on me," O'Connell says in the above video. "I never thought that I could get a boyfriend. I thought I was going to be single forever. My greatest accomplishment is that my boyfriend happened to me. You can get bad love anywhere. You can get bad love at the corner. But to let good love into your life, that is a different thing entirely."


Check out the video above to hear more from O'Connell.


Also on HuffPost:


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15 Ballet-Inspired Holiday Gifts For Bunheads

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Dancing is so much fun, which is one of the many reasons we're glad it's also an excellent form of exercise. And ballet in particular has become one of the hottest workouts around. 


Thanks to the popularity of body-sculpting barre classes, the mind-blowing fusion of ballet and pop music, and badass ballerinas like Misty Copeland, we're sure there are probably a few gals in your life that are as ballet obsessed as we are. So why not help them twirl through life with a few great ballet-inspired holiday gifts? 


Whether they're a serious dancer or more of a barre class ballerina, this gear will keep their style on pointe both in the studio and on the street. Check 'em out below!



Also on HuffPost: 





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4 Tips: How to Have Amazing Style on a Budget

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There seems to be a common misconception that you must spend a lot of money to have great personal style. Believe me when I say that is so not true! Credit cards will definitely buy labels but you really don't have to spend much to have style.

Here's the thing... women who own their style will shop just about anywhere if the retailer has the item that will fit seamlessly into her wardrobe. Ebay, GoodWill, Nordstrom Rack, T.J Maxx... no store is off limits if she can get quality at a great price. It's not what you wear but how you wear it, and accessorizing makes all the difference. It's fine to splurge once in awhile on that gorgeous handbag, or to die-for shoes, but it is not required to look incredible. Granted, you may have to purchase last season's merchandise, but who cares if it means you'll save a ton of money!

Scratching your head, trying to figure out how you can pull this off? Let my guide below help you on your next shopping adventure.

4 tips on how to have amazing style on a budget:

· Never pay full price. Whether you're an online shopper or shopping in-store, always wait for the sale unless you absolutely need the piece immediately. Another exception is if it appears to be an item in high demand and you just know it's gonna' be gone if you don't get your hands on it right away.

· Stores like J. Crew, Banana Republic, Bloomingdale's, have sales regularly so If you're willing to check in periodically, you'll be able to save a good amount of cash. Nordstrom has their half-yearly sale in May and November, while Zara has their semi-annual sale in December and June.

· If you're shopping based on style, not fashion, shop end of season. That's when you'll get those hot boots at almost a steal.

· A final suggestion that is very helpful is to sign up for your favorite retailers email updates. You'll get notified about upcoming sales and most of them, if not all, will give you a discount code for subscribing. It's generally anywhere from 15 percent to 25 percent off your purchase.

For a list of my recommended '18 Wardrobe Basics' that will carry you effortlessly from season to season, click here


(This post was originally posted on tpstylestudio.com )

As a certified image consultant, Thecia Plummer empowers women to upgrade their personal and professional style, by teaching them how to create and manage an impactful image through their wardrobe. She assists the business professional who has very little time to shop, and wants to incorporate their personal style into their professional persona. In addition, she assists professionals with separating their "personal time" wardrobe from their business attire. Thecia will show you how to create variations of looks and how to mix-and-match pieces in your own wardrobe. You will learn what brands and designers are good for your body type, in addition to what colors, and style of clothing put you in the best possible light. You will achieve a wardrobe that will last from season to season. The best part is this can be accomplished within any budget!

Thecia values integrity and authenticity in her work and finds that helping people discover the best version of themselves is rewarding. When you look good you feel good and your confidence exudes. Through her passion for all things stylish, Thecia will help you define and express your own unique style.

Keep it stylish!

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4 Gifts Every Makeup Fanatic Should Buy Herself

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Yes, we all know it's the season of giving... But it's also the time to take advantage of our favorite beauty brands' limited-edition sets. What else are you going to do with all those gift cards? I also threw in a must-have makeup bag that you will want to buy yourself immediately.

Bite Beauty Discovery Set
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When I first opened this set, I swear my original intention was to keep a couple items for myself and give the rest as stocking stuffers. But when it came to making the tough decisions - Could I really give away a full-size High Pigment Pencil in Pomegranate? What if I give away the Mini Matte Crème Lip Crayon in Glacé and find myself desperate for a matte rosy nude lip? - I went from practical to downright selfish. I kept everything. Even the little mirror. There, I said it. $55. Available at Sephora.com.

Sonia Kashuk Limited-Edition Starstruck Brush Set
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Any seasoned makeup addict knows that when it comes to beautiful makeup brushes at affordable prices, Sonia Kashuk reigns supreme. Every year around the holidays Kashuk releases at least one new line of brushes (which I quickly scoop up), and somehow I still can't find the courage to give up a single brush. But really, how am I supposed to give away brushes that have little floating gold stars that do a little dance every time I apply makeup? Once the feather-soft bristles glide across your face you will understand my selfishness as well. $29.99. Available at Target.com.

Lilah B. B-Merry Divine Duo Holiday Kit
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I could literally play all day mixing and layering these two creamy longwearing cheek and lip colors. This limited-edition set includes a stunning, buildable red to give your cheeks and lips a natural flush, and a toasty gold-flecked highlighter that can be applied directly to your cheekbones and to the center of your lip, or mixed with the red for more festive oomph. $78. Available at Lilahbeauty.com.

Hudson & Bleecker Azurite Voyager Toiletry Bag
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I've seen my fair share of cute and functional makeup and toiletry bags in my day, but none have made me swoon like this one from Hudson & Bleecker. Not only is this toiletries and makeup bag incredibly practical with two snap-out zipper cases and one detachable pouch, it looks like the kind of satchel bag you would swing from the crook of your arm while shopping along Fifth Avenue in huge Jackie O sunglasses. $88. Available at Hudsonandbleecker.com.

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24 Gifts For Avocado Lovers

What To Consider Before Getting A Tattoo, Via Keith 'Bang Bang' McCurdy

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If you're thinking about getting a tattoo and don't know where to start, Keith McCurdy's brain would be a good one to pick.


He's self-taught, started in his mom's Delaware kitchen with a starter kit he bought online when he was a teenager, and eventually moved to New York City to become "Bang Bang," a name synonymous with celebrity ink and owed to the double guns tattooed on his neck.


Now 29 years old, McCurdy has opened an eponymous shop in SoHo and tattooed Katy Perry, Adele and Cara Delevingne; he gave Justin Beiber a tattoo on a private jet in the sky, and Rihanna wrote in the forward to McCurdy's memoir, "I'm going to keep my skin pretty as long as possible, but the minute that starts to go south -- Bang Bang can just knock me out and I'll wake up a week later, covered in tattoos. Maybe when I'm fifty."



So if you're thinking of getting a tattoo, McCurdy says there are a few things you need to know first.


"The decision to get your first tattoo is one you should't take lightly," he writes in the memoir, titled "Bang Bang: My Life In Ink," which was published in November. "But you shouldn't let it freak you out, either."


Here's everything you need to figure out and bring with you before you ever walk into a shop.


An Open Mind:


"Hopefully you've been researching and found an artist whose style you like and whose talent you trust," McCurdy writes. "When you find the right person to do the job, you should let them do it, and trust that they want what's best for you. That means that sometimes you'll get a little pushback on your idea. If I think a tattoo is going to look crappy, I'm going to try to steer you toward either a different design or maybe a different location on your body. A good tattooist won't do a job he knows he's not going to be happy showing off. Expect your tattoo to be better than you imagine."


Easy-Access Clothing:


"Think about where you're getting tattooed -- if it's your shoulder, wear a tank top or strapless shirt; if it's your ankle or foot, wear shorts or loose pants," McCurdy writes. "A button-up-the-front shirt worn backward is a great idea for back tattoos. Don't be modest -- we make bodies beautiful."



A Relaxed Attitude:


Your first tattoo can be stressful, and it's OK to have a glass of wine or a beer, "but don't overdo it," McCurdy writes, because alcohol can thin your blood, "and that gets messy."


McCurdy explains that a relaxed attitude is important for several reasons: "Worrying and stressing is a misuse of imagination, and that stress will be put on your artist," he said. "If you are stressed, your artist will be stressed. But if you feel confident with the person you choose to tattoo you then you should feel relaxed. We are really good at hiding our mistakes so there shouldn’t be a reason to worry. It’s really important to be relaxed. Everyone wants to be relaxed."


A Full Stomach:


Because this whole thing can be stressful, people can sometimes feel faint. "It’s like a panic attack. If you are stressing out mentally, then your body reacts," he told HuffPost.


"People can even pass out sometimes. It can be a stressful experience and your body reacts to it the only way it knows how, which causes you to be faint. If you eat well, drink water and get a good night’s rest then you should be fine. It’s few that really feel faint and if they do, then we feed them some sugary soda and they are as good as new."



Reference:


You won't offend a tattooist by bringing in another artist's work as an example, but don't expect a respectable one to copy it outright. 


"I’m not annoyed," McCurdy told HuffPost, "but I won’t do the tattoo and I’ll tell them that. I’m confident in my skills so I think I can tattoo something better than any piece of artwork being done. We have clients that bring stacks of papers in with ideas or some just explain what they want. This is our specialty; we know how to curate ideas into tattoos."


He recommends that you rather just think of it as a collaboration: "We may both have a lot more fun if you let us interpret your idea with you to come up with the best possible original design."


Enough Money:


"I have no doubt you'll be able to find someone to tattoo your mom on your neck for $60, but you're going to get what you pay for and it ain't gonna be pretty," he writes. A good tattoo is an investment.


"You will be wearing your tattoo for life. If you can't afford to have a good artist work on you, you're much better off waiting and saving up to get a quality piece of work."


Also on HuffPost:




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29 Must-Have Gifts For The Savvy Home Cook


Still So Much to Learn

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In light of her much-discussed interview for TIME magazine's Person Of the Year shortlist, Caitlyn Jenner sets the record straight in this op-ed written for WhoSay.

In the first scene of the first episode of I Am Cait, I was up at 4:30 in the morning worrying, "I hope I get it right."

Since I told the world my truth six months ago, I've tried to be a force for good. I've met and listened to many people in the transgender community, from trans women of color, to the parents of trans kids who've taken their own lives, to people working in the courts and legislatures and media to make the world a better, safer place for trans people. I've spent a lot of time listening to people tell me their stories. Even now, at the end of this whirlwind year, I still feel like I have so much to learn.

I guess it's true that there are some things that I have not gotten right. Sometimes this is because I'm still finding out about the issues. Sometimes this is because something that is true for me isn't true for other people in our community. And sometimes I've said things that just come out the wrong way.

And sometimes the media takes one comment out of context -- or interprets it to mean something other than what I meant.

In the last week many people have pointed out some mistakes I've made. My first reaction was to feel hurt, to wish people would give me more credit for having a big heart, and to know I don't have a mean bone in my body. But as I've thought about it, I guess I've come to understand that maybe I have made some mistakes, and I need to make my real feelings more clear.

This week a lot of attention was brought to my comments in my TIME interview, in which I said that my appearance is important to me, that I want people to be at ease when they encounter me and that people are still uncomfortable if a trans person looks like "a man in a dress."

I think I caused a lot of hurt with this comment, and I'm truly sorry.

What I was trying to say is that our world really is still a binary one, and that people who look "visibly transgender" sometimes can struggle for acceptance and may be treated poorly by others. And while this may be true, it's also something that needs to change.

Some people look gender non-conforming because they want to look that way - they don't want to conform to society's expectations. Those people have every right to look and present exactly as they choose. And then there are other people who don't have the resources to access the medical procedures that would help them look the way they would like to look. Procedures, incidentally, that most health insurance plans refuse to cover. All of these people are my brothers and my sisters, and I am fighting alongside them, too.

My comments probably made it seem like all I care about is fashion, or makeup or appearance. I can tell you I really enjoy all of that -- it's who I am. It's the world I come from, and as a person in the media I have certain expectations for myself. But I am only one person. There are a lot of ways of being trans. And I want to help create a world in which people are able to express their gender in any way that is true and authentic for them. And most importantly -- a world in which how a trans person is treated isn't dependent on how they look.

I am guessing this is probably not the last time I will say the wrong thing, or say something the wrong way. I promise to keep learning, and to try to be more articulate in the future. We have a lot of hard work to do. I am looking forward to doing it together.

For more information on the transgender movement, see a list of resources at CaitlynJenner.com.

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Also on The Huffington Post:

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Mini Pony Foursie Is The Cutest Thing You'll See This Winter

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Sometimes miniature ponies get cold in the winter. That is where "foursies" come in. 


Daffy is a Shetland pony living in the U.K. To keep him warm this Christmas, the Ascot Racecourse made a custom foursie for the adorable little guy ahead of the upcoming Christmas Racing Weekend on Friday and Saturday. 


"In winter I always worry about Daffy getting chilly as he likes to spend so much time out of his stable," Jackie Rowberry, Animal Trainer at Animal Dramatics and Daffy's owner, said in a press release from the company. "I love the fact that Ascot has created a special foursie for Daffy so that he can get into the Christmas spirit." 


 



H/T Bored Panda


 


Also on HuffPost:


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Jessica Simpson's Daughter Is Her Glamorous Mini-Me In New Pics

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Looks like Jessica Simpson's 3-year-old daughter Maxwell Drew Johnson is a budding fashionista, just like her mama.


Simpson Instagrammed photos of her adorable daughter over the weekend while the family was hanging around NYC. In one photo, Maxwell rocks a cute pout, fur jacket and long blond hair while posing with her dad Eric Johnson. Diva-in-training! 



Daddy and Daughter

A photo posted by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on




Simpson also posted a picture of Maxwell in another precious outfit, eyeing her mom through some oversized shades. Like Simpson wrote, "Own it." 



Own It. #Maxwell

A photo posted by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on




Maxwell's younger brother, Ace, also got some face-time on his famous mom's Instagram account. The 2-year-old was pictured splashing around in the rain in a cute hat, cargo pants and black sneakers. 



STOMP #ACE

A photo posted by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on




More photos of these beautiful angel children, PLEASE?  



#MAUH

A photo posted by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on




Also on HuffPost: 


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Here's The Best Way To Apply Deodorant, According To A Scientist

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When was the last time anybody actually showed you how to wear deodorant? It seems self-explanatory: Take lid off. Wipe onto pit. Put lid back on. Smell good.


But are you really doing it right, in the way that it will be the most effective in keeping you dry and smelling fresh and fine? And how do you know?


We asked Janyl Plante, a research scientist at Old Spice's product research department who works to develop new lines of deodorant, antiperspirant and body wash for Old Spice, exactly how to do it (and when is the best time of day to put it on).





What is the best way to apply deodorant on the armpit? 


First, it is important to know the difference between antiperspirants and deodorants.  Antiperspirants work to reduce both sweat and odor from your underarms, while deodorants only help reduce odor. The choice of which type of product to use is purely up to each person’s personal needs and preferences.


Is there a specific angle that works best?


The armpit has many angles of its own, so there is no one angle of application that is best. What is important is thorough application to the entire underarm area. Many people quickly make a couple of straight swipes and go. The best method, whether using deodorant or antiperspirant, is to slow down and be sure to give the entire underarm area a uniform coat of product (for men, that means applying enough pressure to get through the hair that most guys have in their underarms).





If using a soft solid, the kind that clicks up through the applicator, how much needs to be applied? 


This depends on the shape and size of the product applicator itself because different products would dispense different amounts with each click of the applicator wheel. Also, application amount depends on the size of an individual’s underarm and their personal needs. [At Old Spice,] we recommend 2 to 3 single clicks per underarm. The great thing about this is that each person can personalize application amount to their personal needs. 


How do you know how much is too much, and when should you reapply?


This comes down to personal preferences, but if you notice a lot of residue on your clothes you may want to reduce the amount applied. We recommend daily application of antiperspirant for best protection. If you are a deodorant user, you would additionally want to reapply after every shower.





What is the best time of day to first apply (is it really better to do it at night before you go to bed for the next day)? 


The best time of day to apply antiperspirant for wetness protection is before bed.  That’s because while your body sweats all of the time, the rate at which you sweat at bedtime is the lowest.  This is important because lower sweat rates form better, more effective plugs that help reduce underarm sweat.  


The least effective time to apply for wetness protection would be when you are profusely sweating as the plugs would not form in the sweat ducts. 


Also on HuffPost:



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How to Throw an Awesome Holiday Party

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My family's thrown an annual holiday party for at least a decade. I can't quite remember how it started, except that it was once small. Now as many as 200 people will pass through our front hallway -- and half as many will pass out in our front hallway. Because we're Jewish, the holiday theme is "Hanukkah" -- but our guest list is not limited to those lighting menorahs. I'd like to pretend to you that our yearly festivities are truly elegant affairs, like a Jewish version of the opening of the Nutcracker. The truth is, each year's party seems more raucous than the last. We've had at least two guests catch on fire (more on that in a moment). The police arrive like clockwork at midnight to shut things down (and again an hour later, and an hour after that). One year a couple made use of our dining room table in, uh, a way it was not intended to be used.

By the time the last guests stagger out, usually around two a.m (often forcibly, with their coats being wrapped around their shoulders by my tired husband and ushered in the direction of their taxis), they'll unfailingly slur, "That wash the besht party ever."

The idea of hosting such a party probably sounds nightmarish to most of you -- a sure way to wreck your house and raise your homeowner's insurance. And yet when I wake up woozily the next day to survey the carnage, it's never too bad -- and always worth the night before. These days many people shy away from entertaining, especially a crowd. This is a shame. Holiday parties end up being held at the office, which is no fun for anyone. The Chrismukkah holiday season is a wonderful excuse to bring together friends. Everyone is in a festive mood. It doesn't matter whether your home is big or small: by following these few tips for a successful and awesome party, you can enjoy the experience rather than stressing out.

#1: Don't Be Afraid to Mix Up Your Guest List


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When you first start thinking of whom you'd like to invite, don't get hung up on "groups." Many potential party givers fear that their "artistic" friends might not mix so well with their work colleagues, or so-and-so can't be in the same room as so-and-so. The gift of a large party is the fact that it's large. You'll be surprised at how many people enjoy meeting types they are NOT used to hanging out with -- and the unexpected friendships that result. Most feuding grown-ups can avoid each other in a big setting (although of course use your judgment. We once made the mistake of inviting two feisty guests who were, very publicly, on the opposite sides of the political spectrum. A loud fight ensued. As my husband remarked afterwards, "I guess we tried to broaden the coalition too far." Still, it was memorable.)

And don't hesitate to mix-up age groups -- especially at a holiday party. It's a natural occasion to celebrate with multiple generations. My two twentysomething children invite some of their friends, and our teenage daughter invites some of her friends too. The youthful energy definitely livens up the atmosphere, and the intergenerational mix produces interesting conversations and connections. The other benefit is that everyone in the family becomes a participating host of the party, so it's not you alone being stuck with making sure everyone is having a good time.

#2: Party Proof Your House


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If you're really worried about your collection of Herend figurines getting damaged, put them away. Ditto any delicate antique furniture or cherished rugs -- otherwise you will be putting yourself in the position of policing every stray elbow and sloshed drink. If you can afford to, rent all the glassware and cocktail plates so if a piece gets broken you don't care. Party proof your powder room by stocking it with lots of extra rolls of toilet paper, and use elegant paper napkins instead of towels, which are more sanitary and don't get soggy and gross. Plan to light a scented candle in there. Then think carefully about where people are most likely to gather -- or rather, where you would most LIKE them to gather, and make those areas enticing. (See "creating a party atmosphere," below.) We have a screened-in porch that, while freezing at this time of year, is also indestructible. We put heat lamps and a shots bar out there: after a few vodkas, no one is feeling the cold.

(First guest-on-fire story: One year a friend of ours brought a date whose hair was styled in what I guess you'd call a very tall weave. At one point the woman stood a little to close to a heat lamp and, unbeknownst to her, her hair began to smoke. An alert waiter immediately doused her head with a pitcher of cold water, saving the woman's life but ruining the weave.)

#3: Create a Great Party Atmosphere

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So many parties get a lot of things right -- interesting mixes of people, interesting mixes of drinks -- but fall flat when no one has paid attention to creating the right vibe. You sense this the minute you walk in the door. The lights are shining brightly, with all the nuance of a Wal Mart. Most of the noise is emanating from the kitchen where you find everyone awkwardly gathered amidst a chaos of disorganization. The host or hostess are frantically doing last minute things rather than being able to focus on the party or their guests. Small children in bathrobes are complaining loudly about having to go to bed. Your eyes scan the room, wondering who you know or where you can get a drink. And it goes down from there.

Contrast this to walking into a house where the lighting is low, candles and flowers are everywhere, holiday jazz or a mood-inducing soundtrack is playing, and the hosts are at ease introducing everyone to each other. Guests appreciate, and notice, when you've gone to some effort to create a welcoming and fun atmosphere. They respond to it, too, by making it a fun party.

As mentioned in #2, take time to create different gathering areas -- even if you are only working with a small space. Put out a shots or Scotch tasting bar in one corner; a floor pillow seating area in another. If room allows, carve out a dancing area (and be prepared to start the dancing yourself). The goal is to get your guests flowing through your home by spreading out treats, as it were, so they don't collect massively in one spot, such as around a kitchen counter.

#4: Keep the Food Simple and the Booze Flowing


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A lot of stress and expense is wasted on providing a variety of passed hors d'oeuvres or a banquet table trying to cover the map from meats and vegetables to cakes. Before you decide on food, decide whether you are hosting a cocktail party (usually 6-8 p.m., before dinner) or a dessert party (8 or 9 p.m. onwards, after dinner). We always choose the latter for two reasons: First, we prefer the later start, which allows more time to get ready; second, there is no obligation to provide a quasi-meal to starving guests who might otherwise start chewing on your dining table. They arrive fed and ready to party. Fortunately Hanukkah -- with its emphasis on chocolates, donuts and cakes -- lends itself perfectly to a dessert party theme. Create a buffet in your dining room or kitchen. Pile it high with all kinds of desserts, sweets, and fruits -- and let people help themselves. Ditto with the bar: have at least one countertop or table well-stocked with glassware and the liquor and wine you're serving -- and add to it any bottles the guests bring with them. If you're hiring help, keep their focus on passing and refilling drinks, and collecting empty glasses. Depending on the size of your party, definitely hire a bartender or two. A good bartender is worth his weight in gelt.

#5: Make Sure You are Able to Relax and Enjoy Yourself

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Have everything ready at least half an hour before you expect the first guest. If you're still running around and arranging stuff seconds before guests arrive, you're going to begin the party stressed out -- and your stress will convey itself to your guests. Get dressed early. Light the candles. Check the food and bar. Choose the music. Pour yourself a glass of wine, settle yourself on the sofa, and admire your work. Remember to breathe.

#6: Last and Most Important: The Blue Drink


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Ok so it doesn't have to be blue. But because it's Hanukkah, we've always tried to come up with some sort of signature blue cocktail that we call a Maccabee Martini (even if none of the ingredients amount to a martini). The only way you can make a blue drink, aside from food coloring, is to add Curacao. After experimenting with our first cocktail, we discovered that Curacao was more relevant to the holiday than we knew. The Caribbean island of Curacao -- where its namesake liqueur is produced -- has a rich Jewish history. Sephardic Jews began landing there in the mid-17th century, when the Dutch conquered the island from the Spanish; Ashkenazy Jews followed after WWII. It maintains the oldest surviving synagogue in the Americas (still in use) -- and it was a Jewish family by the name of Senior that invented the citrus-based Curacao liqueur.

Admittedly, Curacao is not a liqueur that mixes easily with other alcohols. For several years we struggled to come up with a good cocktail. Our first tries were pretty disgusting. Even a professional bartender couldn't do much with it. Still, a tray of bright blue martini glasses would be passed at every party along with the wine and champagne. Strangely, most hands went for the blue drink. Indeed the demand grew so high that we began making pitchers of it in advance. Then one year we decided not to serve the blue drink -- we couldn't quite believe anyone found it really palatable. Disappointment was immediately evident. As guests arrived we heard, over and over, "Hey where is the blue drink?" The next day, I realized, that while the party had gone fine, it hadn't taken off as quickly as others -- nor did it ever achieve the legendary moments of previous ones (I'm getting to the second guest-on-fire story). The secret lay in the absence of the blue drink. So the next year it was back. Another guest caught on fire (by standing too close to a low-lying candle. The tails on his blazer went up). Witnesses allege that I told the cops that my husband had lept out the back window at the first knock, and then invited the constables in for a drink. And then there was that couple on the dining room table.

So my advice is, even if you do nothing else, serve a special cocktail and your party will be a hit.

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Jennifer Lawrence & Amy Schumer Want To Make Every Actress’ Nightmare A Reality

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Last week, Amy Schumer rocked our world when she joked that her friendship with actress Jennifer Lawrence was "completely over."


The two friends were nominated in the same category for a Golden Globe, so we figured a little competition might have gotten the best of the them. But, according to Lawrence, they're friendship is totally fine and they'll be attempting to pull off matching outfits at the awards ceremony.  


"We're going to try to figure out [how] to wear the exact same thing," said Lawrence in an interview with E! News' Marc Malkin. "That's my mission. I really want us to wear the same thing."


Generally, that sort of thing would lead to nightmares for most Hollywood stars, but not Lawrence and Schumer. 


"She's going to have to wear Dior," said Lawrence, who has long been a face of the brand. "I'm just going to have to have Dior make two of whatever they're making for me."





Dress code aside, the "Joy" actress told Extra that it was "odd" to go up against Schumer in the same category. 


"Who would have thought if you looked at my movie and you look at her movie it would be in the same category, but I’ll take what I can get," said Lawrence, adding that the two would "start arm wrestling" if cameras panned to them during the Golden Globes show.  


Asked about the movie she co-wrote with Schumer, Lawrence had good news for fans: "We are dunzo, we are ready to go." 


Guess we'll start lining up at the nearest movie theater now. 


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This Is Why Michelle Obama Loves Her Hawaii Christmas So Much

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WASHINGTON (AP) - Michelle Obama is marking the days off the calendar for her favorite holiday tradition: traveling with family and friends to Hawaii.


The first lady said the family trip to President Barack Obama's home state dates back more than two decades.


She said the two-week vacation also includes an annual talent show with their large group of loved ones that has included poetry, music and dog tricks.


"Because it's such an important tradition, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world," she said.



Mrs. Obama shared her holiday plans Monday as she continued a first lady tradition of visiting with hospitalized children. She was joined by family dogs Bo and Sunny as she read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to patients at Children's National Health System.


The visit also included a question-and-answer session with the youngsters. When asked if the family pups have been naughty or nice this year, Mrs. Obama said Sunny- the younger Portuguese water dog who joined the family in 2013- can sometimes be naughty when she sneaks away to use the bathroom randomly about the White House.


"We're dealing with that problem, but she sneaks and does it. She's sneaky," Mrs. Obama said. "But otherwise, they're both very good. They're both very good ambassadors. They work really hard."


The first lady, an Ivy League graduate, also dispensed some advice when a girl asked her how she got into Harvard Law School.


"You've got to study hard," Mrs. Obama said. "You've got to read a lot of books. You have to do your homework every day. You have to listen to your teachers, and your moms and dads. That's the start."


The Obamas will leave for Hawaii on Friday.


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Revisiting the Beauty Myth

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I have just finished Naomi Wolf's polemical debut, The Beauty Myth. First published in 1990, it details the new societal obsession with female appearance as a calculated move by the oppressive patriarchy. We were moved out of the kitchens by the first two waves of feminism -- and straight into the bathroom to obsessively shave, pluck, scrub, cleanse, tone and moisturize. Reading this fifteen years later as a young woman and "beauty" enthusiast, I found it extremely striking. Some of what I read aligned alarmingly perfectly with many of my deepest fears about how femaleness and beauty are related. It's hard to ignore the predictions Wolf makes which seem to be becoming scarily true. Yet much of the book reads now in a positive light -- about the ever-broadening spectrum of what is considered acceptable and even beautiful today.

The recent release of the 2016 Pirelli Calendar illustrates this nicely. It was a cultural phenomenon I had remained completely unaware of until this year, when shocking images of women nakedly having stomachs and sometimes even wearing full outfits appeared. (Although I am being a bit facetious about it, I just looked at the 2015 calendar and actually found it terribly frightening, so while these images probably shouldn't be classed as shocking, it's good that they've replaced the traditional Pirelli fare.) This seems to be a Good Thing: that it's the "real" (shudders) images of females which gain attention and, for the most part, applause. Seeing stunning images of dark skinned women and old women and young women and women with lots of hair and women with not so much hair and women with stomach rolls and women with stretch marks shouldn't be this shocking -- but at least it has happened.

So are things getting better or worse? There does seem to be more visibility of a broader spectrum of "beauties" in the world today. Beauty is becoming more expansive, less exclusive. And yet it seems to me that the pressure of looking one particular way may have been replaced by a more intense pressure of "making an effort." The regimented routines women are expected to keep up to maintain their youth and maximize their assets (shudders again) seem more accepted than ever. And if you can manage to make a concerned and concentrated effort and still come out appearing "effortless", even better. Why?

It's a scary thought that the reason women are expected to do all of these things may actually have nothing to do with the end result, that it's the process which is imperative. Now women have somehow got the idea that they can do anything they want, best to make sure they still have some duties to occupy their brains a bit. Now they can be financially stable individuals, best to impose an obligatory "woman tax" on their incomes, accounting for all the lotions and potions they are required to own. Do I think this is totally true? Probably not. I never buy beauty items because I feel like I have to, it's a hobby which I enjoy and has little to nothing to do with society. That's my stance -- but I worry that I can't say with absolute confidence that I'm not at least a little bit mind controlled by what is, essentially, a money-making, woman-oppressing industry.

The ending of the Beauty Myth was perhaps my favorite part -- not least because it was the section which reassured me that I could be a Good Person and still want to spend twenty minutes playing with lipsticks most days. Wolf talks of a conscious decision met by all women who like doing things to their faces -- a choice between expression and oppression. I think this mantra is the thing all face-having women today should embrace. There are enough things in life to make women sad and cross and poor and self-loathing. Don't, for God's sake, let the contents of your bathroom cabinet become another one. Since lots of aspects of the world seem geared towards undermining ones confidence, don't invite more of the same into your very home. If it isn't making you happier, get rid of it. It isn't essential and you aren't obligated to do anything. A decision has to be made between joy and pain. Between choice and obligation. Between the beauty myth and a beauty reality.

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Bring Your "A" Game

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It's been so amazing to connect with all of the women who've participated in the #healthyatanysize #getmoving2015 Holiday Challenge. I love hearing from you and gaining some insight as to what's on your minds and how you're transforming your relationship with your bodies! I think it's so powerful to see what can happen when we put our voices together behind a collective battle cry. In ways that I can't even share yet, people are paying attention to what the #healthyatanysize community has to say.

You all inspire and empower me to bring my "A" game, each and every day. I've written before about how I view modeling as a calling. That statement is much more than lip service for me. Truly, I'm in this to share what I've learned, and to see as many women as possible fall in love with themselves and shed all of the baggage that moving through this world as a woman of size has saddled them with. The reason I believe in this idea so strongly is that every woman who is living at a fraction of her greatness, who is dulling her shine and hunching her shoulders and trying not to be seen, is depriving us all of some wonderful, unique gift that she was put upon this earth to share. I want to do whatever I can to make sure that women live at their full amplitude, because we all miss out if you don't!

An important step in gaining access to your full amplitude is sharing your experiences with others. And really, the sharing your story thing is not just about YOU. When you hold onto your experience or your reaction to something, you experience it in isolation. No matter how uniquely grotesque we may feel our own experiences have been, there is always someone else who can find us relatable. You give those people a gift by sharing, because you're giving them something to identify with. Together, you all create something powerful as other women identify with that and apply their own experience to it. That is how an idea grows into something much greater and allows you to feel connected to other people. Not only does it make us feel less alone, but it's what creates positive change in the world.

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Photo by Elina Khachaturyan, hair by Christine Poindexter.

When people unite around a central idea, like, "Our bodies are perfect exactly as they are, and we view movement as a way to show love to them rather than a means to change them in order to meet someone else's ideal," that idea becomes powerful and gains traction. It's like one big, brilliant snowball that we are rolling through the streets together. It is made more powerful each time another woman steps forward and says, "This is me, and this is where I am with this idea today," which can be done through a conversation had with a friend, a blog post, a selfie or even just hitting the "like" button on someone's post. It's about declaring, in any way available to you, that an idea resonates with you.

If you're looking for a New Year's resolution to adopt for 2016, let it be to bring your "A" game and share more about your experiences in the coming year. We have one life to live, and it is WAY too short to spend huddling in a corner, afraid to be seen for who we really are. Whatever you're clinging to in isolation, that is the thing that you most need to share with the world so that you can feel connected and empowered to live at your highest amplitude, simultaneously paving the way for someone else to do the same. During the month of January, I'll be bringing some other ladies into the #healthyatanysize community to share their stories. I'll be profiling some "Big Shots" in the Plus Size Modeling world and giving you an inside peek at how these women feel, think and act as they navigate their careers and their lives. These are the women that I look at and I think, "I want to be more like them." I hope that by sharing what they have to say, you'll feel more empowered to become the woman that you want to be, too.

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The Star Wars Force Is With Opening Ceremony

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Ahead of the Star Wars: The Force Awakens' theatrical release this week, Opening Ceremony harnesses the power of the Force -- to create a custom Stormtroopers costume inspired by the iconic film saga. Our feminist update? This time around, just like in Episode VII director J.J. Abrams' take on the classic, the costume is made for a female.

As part of the #Force4Fashion label and ongoing charity effort in partnership with Bloomingdale's, 11 designers were chosen to create their own costume versions of iconic characters from George Lucas' films, as well as new characters from the highly-anticipated new film. Each film in the epic space opera is a cultural monument, with everything from the cast to the special effects reflecting the time and decade in which they were made (the first film was released in 1977), so it only makes sense that this fundraising event and the costume pieces within it should reflect the atmosphere of 2015.

Head to the Opening Ceremony website to read more about the collaboration and see more images.

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Beyoncé’s Christmas-Themed Getup Beats Your Ugly Holiday Sweater

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Beyoncé is feeling herself in this interesting take on a holiday-themed outfit. 


Queen Bey was spotted leaving her offices on Monday night in an ensemble that had everything. The "Partition" singer wore a black dress with colorful stripes, paired with a coat that was decorated in light-up ornaments, sparkly bows, and green and red tinsel. 


Bey accessorized her getup with a santa hat, oversized, glittery green sunglasses in the shape of Christmas trees and large hoop earrings. 





Seeing as Beyoncé is a boss (who, we're just speculating here, was leaving her office holiday work party), she can wear whatever she likes. And she did. 


Jay Z decided to wear a much less flashy outfit and instead kept it casual in a camo coat and all black underneath.  




 


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Your 5 Biggest Dating Mistakes

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As a professional dating coach, I talk to single people everyday who are frustrated with the modern dating scene. I see the differences between the people who are successful in finding love, and ones who keep coming up against the same struggles time and time again.

What is clear to me is that people from all different backgrounds, ages and geographic locations have a lot of the same issues navigating the dating scene and are making a lot of the same mistakes that are keeping them single.

Here are the biggest ones.

1. Only dating people you've met online

Technology is simultaneously the best and worst thing to happen to dating.

On the one hand, you have access to more romantic prospects than at any other time in human history. If you only want to date Christian broccoli farmers, the internet is going to really help you target your search. These days, technology is used by nearly everyone looking to connect romantically, even those who have easy access to lots of "offline" options.

From an emotional standpoint, it's a lot easier to "wink" or "swipe" or "favorite" someone online or on a dating app than to walk across a room and say hello.

For most people, the risk of being ignored online is less painful than risking someone saying to your face "I'm not interested." And so technology becomes a digital crutch that works as substitute for the face-to-face courtship humans have engaged in since the beginning of time.

More and more people are losing their ability to flirt and connect in real life. Those in-person skills are key, because that's where the magic actually happens. Not on a screen, where you are making a million judgments about a curated version of someone's essence.

Online dating also makes us pickier, and now one stray typo or reference to a rival sports team can tank a budding romance before it begins.

When you meet a new person in the real world, you don't instantly interrogate them with a laundry list of questions about their interests, views on monogamy and favorite movies. (At least I hope you don't!) It's more likely that you view them as an actual complicated person, and not just a collection of some photos on a screen.

If it's been forever since you dated someone you met offline, challenge yourself to make that happen. Practice making eye contact and smiling at strangers -- invite the interaction to happen. Go to new places and put yourself in situations where you'll encounter new people. Ask friends for (low-pressure) introductions. Go speed dating or to a singles mixer.

Try something new that doesn't involve a username and a password!

2. Requiring instant chemistry

Whether it's when looking at an online profile or meeting someone in real life, the number one comment I hear from frustrated singles is they're not attracted to the people they are coming across.

If you are requiring instant chemistry to even consider dating someone, you're making a big mistake.

I have a whole theory about how to judge when chemistry is a possibility or a definite no-go, but I will summarize here. When you think of the people you've met in your life who you felt instant chemistry with, how did those situations usually turn out? Have you ever met someone who you didn't think much of physically at first, who turned out to rock your world?

The point is, instant chemistry is an unreliable indicator of long term compatibility.

You could be cutting yourself off from some great potential partners just because you didn't feel that instant attraction. When it comes to online dating, this is especially likely. Most people are terrible at online dating, and that definitely applies to their terrible photos. Not everyone is photogenic or has a clue as to which photos they should use in their profile.

The rush of instant attraction can be intoxicating -- literally. Your brain chemistry is impacted and your judgment is as well. Not the optimal state to make sound decisions, and who you're going to be romantically involved with is a pretty important decision!

Be open to the possibility of chemistry developing -- be an active participant in forming a bond with the people you meet and see if you can cause the sparks to start flying!

3. Taking everything too personally

Repeat after me: I am not for everyone and everyone is not for me.

Repeat after me: I cannot know everything that is going on in another person's life or mind.

Repeat after me: Because someone doesn't want to date me/text me back/pay for my dinner doesn't mean they are a horrible human or that I am fundamentally unlovable.

Repeat after me: I am the center of my universe and everyone else is the center of theirs. For them, it's not all about me.

Bottom line: Some people don't like chocolate. I have a friend who doesn't like bananas. I met a guy who hates potatoes -- even french fries! I cannot relate! But everyone has different tastes and everyone has different love goals at any given time.

Rejection is a part of dating. You can't let a "no" keep you from going out and seeking your match. Every "no" gets you closer to the "yes" that can change your life, so take heart, don't take it personally and keep going!

4. Feeling (and acting) entitled.

Entitlement is a huge love blocker. If you find yourself:

With a long list of characteristics you want in another person, and you yourself don't meet all of those characteristics and/or...

Assuming it is up to the other person to demonstrate their interest in you, even if you don't show interest in them and/or...

Thinking that chemistry is supposed to "just happen" and you don't take responsibility for contributing to it and/or...

Generally expecting your romantic partners to read your mind and you don't recognize that communication is a two-way street and/or...

Getting angry when someone isn't interested in you...

Your best course of action figure out how to turn your entitled attitude around! If you approach dating and relationships from a place of entitlement, you are setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment. Entitlement isn't sexy. And you're likely to only attract people who are similarly entitled, which is a recipe for major conflict.

5. FOMO

FOMO, (Fear Of Missing Out) is one of the biggest pitfalls of modern dating. If you find yourself feeling like you have infinite options, here is a reality check: you don't have infinite options!

Yes, there are millions of single people at your fingertips online and it is easy to feel like there's always someone better than the person in front of you, just a swipe away. But the problem is the more you have that mindset, the harder it will be for you to settle on someone who might be a great match for you. And the more unhappy you will be when you do settle on one person -- you'll always wonder if you chose correctly. Social psychologist Barry Schwartz calls this the Paradox Of Choice.

The first step in eradicating dating FOMO is to recognize you have it. If you find yourself falling down a rabbit hole of online dating profiles, eliminating people based on the slightest shortcoming or becoming increasingly critical while evaluating your romantic prospects, you might have FOMO.

Yes, there are other fish in the sea. But there aren't millions of them out there who are the right fish for you. There is no such thing as perfection. Show others as much grace as you'd like them to show you.

Be the change you want to see in the modern dating scene. Happy dating!

Francesca is a love and lifestyle coach for singles. You can catch her as a regular expert guest on NBC's The Today Show, and on The Hoda Show on SiriusXM's Today Show Radio channel. Need some help meeting and connecting with the right partners? Get more dating advice, and even book a free session at www.francescahogi.com!

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