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RuPaul's New Video Has Every Fetching Runway Look He's Worn On 'Drag Race'

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Ohhhh, Ru-hoo!


Get ready, girls -- RuPaul is about to give new meaning to the term "March madness."


Not only is the eighth season of Ru's hit reality TV show competition, "RuPaul's Drag Race," set to premiere on Monday, March 7, but his new album, "Butch Queen," is out on Friday, March 4.


The album, which Ru told NewNowNext is his "salute to a few good men that dress like women," is also a tribute to "the spirit of the old-school ballroom scene celebrated in 'Paris is Burning.'"


“The infectious beats and relentless optimism of that music is timeless,” RuPaul said.


The first single from the album, "U Wear It Well," the video for which features every look Ru has worn on the "Drag Race" runway, certainly feels like a throwback to the housey joy of Ru's 1993 album "Supermodel Of The World" and could very well stand as the unofficial sequel to the hit "Back To My Roots."


Check out the track above and then go pre-order "Butch Queen" here.

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Mom Breaks Down Stigma Around Daughter's Birthmark With Gorgeous Photos

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Six-month-old Charlie Crenshaw is a vibrant baby girl with a beautiful smile, but people don't always notice that at first. Instead, they tend to ask, "What's wrong with her face?"



A day in the sixties. ☀️

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on




According to her mom, HuffPost blogger Katie Mullis Crenshaw, Charlie was born with a capillary hemangioma (aka "strawberry mark") that doctors have deemed cosmetic. Katie told The Huffington Post that her daughter has seen specialists and takes daily medication to ensure it does not grow any larger or obstruct her vision.


With no known cause or prevention options, hemangiomas tend to "involute or disappear eventually," the mom wrote on her blog, Twelve And Six. She also shared her response to the many strangers, friends and family who are quick to mention Charlie's hemangioma. 



We don’t need to talk about it every time you look at her. We see past the color of her face. Charlie is Charlie and it’s part of who she is. It doesn’t need to be constantly commented on, critiqued, or questioned. While I don’t mind educating curious minds, I don’t need your opinion on how it its progress [sic] or the affect [sic] it may have on her. It’s a part of her unique beauty. It may never disappear, and guess what? It doesn’t have to. I would much rather chat about her latest milestone achievement, her amazing smile, or how gorgeous her eyes are.



Katie hopes her beautiful Instagram photos of her daughter will change people's perceptions of Charlie and others who look a little different.


"I would like to normalize 'differences' in appearances," the mom told HuffPost, adding, "People tend to immediately pity people who look different and I would like to change that conversation."



Hey guys, got anything else I can chew on?

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on




 Instead, Katie hopes people can get to know Charlie for who she really is. 


"Her personality is dynamic," she said. "Everyone she meets comments on her piercing eyes, or that she seems like an old soul that understands much more than we think. She is extremely motivated and is already crawling and trying to stand."


After sharing Charlie's story, Katie said she received some criticism based in misconceptions she'd like to clear up. 


"I don't feel I am doing her an injustice by not having it cosmetically removed to protect her from bullies," she explained. "As a child, I was bullied, and I had nothing wrong with me. I think to protect our children from bullies we should instill confidence and values in who they are, the way they were made."



My sweet girl and her first visit to mama's hometown. ❤️☀️

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on




"No one wants their child to be picked on, but children can be ruthless," she continued. "They will pick on kids for their name, their brand of shoes, or the way they talk. It's just something that may or may not happen."


Katie also wants others to know her family is open to answering questions about "the birthmark" and do understand their concern and compassion. "We just hope to educate people on our perspective and perhaps challenge them to think about the way they think and the words they say," she said.


Beyond the negative feedback, however, the mom says she received dozens of inspiring emails from parents of kids with hemangiomas and adults who had them as children. 


As the mom wrote in her blog post, "Hold the pity. She’s a healthy baby girl and we are blessed. Her hemangioma is just as insignificant to who she is as a freckle on her arm. You don’t need to mention it, and you don’t need to wish it away."


Keep scrolling for and visit Katie Mullis Crenshaw's Instagram for a look at her beautiful photos of baby Charlie.





My baby sloth ❤️

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on





Good morning bright eyes! . . . #liveauthentic #momlife #love #thatsdarling #abm #joy #clickinmoms #mommyblogger

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on





It's somebody's 1/2 birthday!

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on





When your brother jumps in the pic like... #willybeanco #adenandanais #sophie

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on





This @frecklebabyllc blanket with the paci/teether holder feature is actually the best ever. Charlie is in love.

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on







Waking up next to this isn't bad.

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on





Happy March! We are definitely feeling Springy today. Maybe a visit to the park is in order.

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on





Happy Valentines Day! ❤️

A photo posted by k a t i e • c r e n s h a w (@katiemcrenshaw) on




H/T PopSugar

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I'm Entering The Empty Nest Stage Of Purses

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My daughter -- aka the love of my life, the reason for my next breath, my daily dose of sunshine -- will be leaving for college in the fall. I am already not doing well. No lectures necessary; I know that when the time comes, I will rise to the occasion. When she takes this next step, she will not know a whit about how much pain that step is causing me.


In preparation, I have already done the one thing I know will help: I switched to a smaller handbag.


My handbags have always reflected the stages of my life. As a single career woman, I carried what was known as a ladies' briefcase. It was thinner than its male equivalent and had little pouches on the inside for a lipstick tube and a hair brush. Mine was made of fine Italian black leather. But to open it, it was necessary to put the briefcase down on a flat surface and undo the snaps. Highly impractical for every day life, but most impressive at business meetings. I'd swing that puppy down on the conference room table, enjoy the little ping the snaps made when released, and take out my notepad just like the big boys at the table. 


Motherhood introduced me to the world of totes and bags the size of carry-on luggage. Cavernous bags, they were, each one larger than the next as the kids and their needs grew. Those bags saw books for long car rides, snacks for the entire soccer team, extra sweaters, sunscreen, juice boxes, and the kindergarten's first-100-days-of-school project made of macaroni pieces. 


I've stayed with large bags even through the teen years. Right or wrong, my interpretation of the "try to say 'yes' to your kids" advice has been to be their depository. I am the one who always has a spare pen, who has a hairbrush, who carries the water bottles and the hand sanitizer. In our house, the "Have you seen my _____?" question is generally answered with "Look in my bag."


Well now, I am downsizing -- both in the number of kids who will live under my roof full-time and in the size of my handbag. I've switched to a small cross-body bag that no longer causes my right shoulder to hurt from the weight of its contents. It holds my wallet, keys and phone and little else.


And lo and behold, my downsizing has forced my soon-to-be-departing, about-to-be-a-college-student daughter -- and her own handbag -- to grow by several leaps and bounds. In it she has her own phone charger, her own Kindle, her own postage stamps and insurance cards. And why yes, on family outings, I kind of enjoy her reaction to her brother asking if she could hold his sweatshirt for him.


I'm thinking this is just another notch on the life cycle belt.


Also on Huff/Post:


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Top Divorce Lawyer Dishes On Celebrity Divorce Secrets

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If you're a celebrity and you are getting divorced, there's a good chance Laura Wasser is your lawyer. 


She is one of the top lawyers in her field -- negotiating prenups, divorce settlements and custody arrangements for the Hollywood elite, including Angelina Jolie, Denise Richards, Nick Lachey, Britney Spears, Jennifer Garner, Gwen Stefani, Melanie Griffith, and the Kardashian sisters. 


Her A-list clientele means that her name pops up frequently in the tabloids, but it's in a new profile from Bloomberg Business that she's spilling the secrets of how celebrities really get divorced:


Breaking up is hard (and expensive) to do


Celebrities shell out $850 an hour for Wasser's services, and she also requires a "$25,000 retainer and rarely represents people who have less than $10 million." 


Celebrities often need to be convinced of what's at stake when they get married


Wasser is often brought in when a star's team wants to protect their client financially, but the star is too lovestruck to understand that a prenup is probably going to be their BFF. 


"[In California] you can sit on the couch and eat bonbons while your husband’s at work, and you’ll still get half of everything," Wasser said of the state's community property laws. “I mean, love, honor, and obey -- OK, fine, whatever. But the point is the minute you get married in the state of California, every dollar you earn, every page of that novel you write, every painting you paint is communal property. It’s half-owned by your spouse.”





There's a reason so many celebrities split up at the same time


Wasser tries to dilute media attention for her most high-profile clients by filing their cases around the same time. 


"I’ll tell my clients, 'I have someone else, I can’t say who, but you should really wait and file at the same time,'" she explained, accounting for the proximity of Jennifer Garner's split from Ben Affleck and Gwen Stefani calling it quits with Gavin Rossdale this past summer. 


The entire settlement is often negotiated well before the couple officially files documents


“I think we worked on it a good year -- no, a year and a half -- before it came out on TMZ,” actress Melanie Griffith said of her divorce from Antonio Banderas in 2014. “And when we did file it, there were some personal things that were agreed upon by Antonio and myself that we had removed from the official papers so they wouldn’t get out.”


Get ready for another string of celebrity splits


"Wasser is working on about 45 cases now, many of them divorces. Several will be filed in March, after the Oscars; her clients don’t want to walk the red carpet alone," according to Bloomberg Business.


For more of the secrets of how celebs get divorced, head over to Bloomberg Business. 

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5 Must-Haves For Digital Photos

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It's said that 90% of people today only take photos with smart phone cameras, and that a collective 510 billion photos will be taken in 2015 alone. Chances are, you've got a few on your own phone at the moment, and if not, you likely have some from a traditional digital camera taken at some point.

It's created an exciting market of cool and functional products that is constantly offering new ways to manage, store and use photos of all kinds. A few stylish favorites:

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1. Digital photo frames can often look a little sterile and mechanic, but this chic option above combines the technology with a beautiful design. Frame, Waterford

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2. Ultra high tech combined with fashionable design and cool colors turns photo storage into a decor piece that manages and stores your images while keeping everything safe, secure and more easily accessible. Storage, Monument

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3. Your photos can be turned into art pieces of all kinds for any space! Simple online services and products make it easy and offer a ton of stylish choices and options. Photo art, CanvasPop

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4. Photo printing is simple with products that automatically sync with smart phones, tablets and other devices to get the job done. Photo printer, Hammacher Schlemmer

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5. Yes, you can even have your photos printed on marshmallows. What a tasty way to share your favorite snaps as a gift or a treat for yourself! Photo marshmallows, Boomf

See all of this month's edition of Condiment Magazine at www.getcondiment.com

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An Easy DIY Lip Scrub For Your Super Chapped Lips

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When it comes to fun DIY crafts we got you covered. That's why we're bringing you this super fun and easy way to make lip scrub for that special someone.
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To get started you'll need the items above! You can substitute the ChapStick for any type of lip balm you prefer. Make sure the lip balm has color, if you're planning on adding some color to your scrub.
In a small bowl mix about 1 cup of petroleum jelly, a chunk of lip balm and two spoons of sugar. Based on how grainy you want your lip scrub to be is the factor on adding more sugar or Petroleum Jelly. There is no exact measurements so have fun with it. But a key rule I like to use is to start with about 3/4 more of Petroleum Jelly than sugar and add more sugar from there.
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Be sure to mix well and push down to get the clumps out, however, some clumps of the lip balm are okay! If you'd like more color to your mixture just add more balm.
Once you're done, simply spoon the mixture into a ziplock bag, cut the corner and squeeze into your container.
Easy peasy! Add hearts or stickers to personalize the container if you'd like! We added some cute glitter hearts!
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Also on HuffPost:

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Kendall Jenner And Gigi Hadid Swap Hair Color, Turn Into Each Other

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You know what they say: Friends who walk in all the major runway shows and undergo complete beauty transformations together, stay together. 


OK, that might only be the case for Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid, fashion's favorite it-girl-best-friend-power-duo. For their latest jaunt down the runway together, at Balmain in Paris Thursday, the pair appeared like never before:  wearing wigs in each other's signature hair color. 




They were just two of a slew of famous models who walked designer Olivier Rousteing's star-studded, swapped-hair runway. Hairstylist Sam McKnight told Vogue that Rosteing decided to change every Balmain model's shade to "create a surprise." 


Model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley ditched her usual blonde locks for a dark brown look, while brunette Alessandra Ambrosio looked lovely with a blonde 'do. 




Jenner even shared a downright trippy selfie with Hadid from after the show that could pass for the most accurate face swap of all time:






While the hair is temporary, this friendship looks to last a lifetime.

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10 Of The Most Ridiculous Things Ever Said About Women In History

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ladies


This post was originally published on Bustle.
By JR Thorpe


Luckily for any student of laughing-at-ridiculous-sexism (which is one of the best academic pastimes), there are many candidates for Most Stupendously Silly Statement Made About Women In The History Of Humankind. What about the Victorian medical specialist William Acton's proclamation in 1857 that "the majority of women (happily for them) are not very much troubled by sexual feeling of any kind"? Or televangelist Pat Robertson's much more modern, but no less astonishing, tirade that "feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians"? Ah, the joys of being a woman: basically, throughout 98 percent of human history, it's involved being told insulting and ridiculous things by members of the opposite sex.

But there are some examples so spectacular, so influential and/or so maddeningly daft that they deserve a special place in our hearts. They need to be gold-plated and put above everybody's bedstead, under the title "This Is Why We Need Feminism". And this is only the stuff we know; ancient Mesopotamians or lost civilizations now long dead may have had even more hilarious opinions about women's weaknesses, inability to have their own emotions, or think in straight lines. (I don't know what precisely is so excellent about straight lines, myself, but I'm not an all-knowing man.)

So here, enjoy what are perhaps the 10 most ridiculously sexist things ever said, and I'll understand if you need a minute afterwards.

1. When Aristotle Said Women Are Defective Men


"The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities; we should regard the female nature as afflicted with a natural defectiveness."


This famous bit of idiocy was the standpoint on the female body and mind for the duration of Greek and Roman ancient civilization; it's famously quoted by Simone de Beauvoir as the most influential bit of female-as-corrupted-male thinking for thousands of years.

2. When St. Thomas Aquinas Said Women Are Sperm Accidents


"... A female is deficient and unintentionally caused. For the active power of the semen always seeks to produce a thing completely like itself, something male. So if a female is produced, this must be because the semen is weak or because the material [provided by the female parent] is unsuitable, or because of the action of some external factor such as the winds from the south which make the atmosphere humid."


Ah, good old Thomas Aquinas, beacon of Christian thought, hugely influential thinker, and proponent of the idea that sperm must always want to create men and that if it manages to create ladies, there must have been some mistake. The problem that neither men nor women would exist without a womb to bake them in appears not to have confounded him all that much. If that isn't enough, he says elsewhere:

"If it were not for some [divine] power that wanted the feminine sex to exist, the birth of a woman would be just another accident, such as that of other monsters [= a dog with two heads, a calf with five legs, etc.]"


3. When Napoleon Said Women Are Just Slaves


"Nature intended women to be our slaves... they are our property; we are not theirs. They belong to us, just as a tree that bears fruit belongs to a gardener.... Women are nothing more than machines for producing children."


In case you still thought Napoleon Bonaparte was some kind of lady-loving charmer, even considering he divorced his much-loved Josephine (causing her massive distress) because she hadn't managed to give him an heir, you've got a lesson coming to you. What are we, ladies? TREES. What do we want? SOME DUDE TO MANAGE OUR ORCHARD.

4. When Cato The Elder Argued That All Women Are Wild Animals


"Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal, and it is useless to let go the reins and then expect her not to kick over the traces. You must keep her on a tight rein.... Women want total freedom or rather -- to call things by their names -- total licence. If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters."


This was Cato the Elder mouthing off on the repeal of the Oppian Laws, which were hugely restrictive of women's behavior and dress, and the women who were protesting to get it taken off. They succeeded. It's quoted in Livy's History of Rome and still held up as an example of stunning rhetoric. How do you feel about being a horse?

5. When Pliny The Elder Warned That Menstrual Blood Is Poisonous


"On the approach of a woman in this state, must will become sour, seeds which are touched by her become sterile, grafts wither away, garden plants are parched up, and the fruit will fall from the tree beneath which she sits. Her very look, even, will dim the brightness of mirrors, blunt the edge of steel, and take away the polish from ivory. A swarm of bees, if looked upon by her, will die immediately."


Look, Pliny The Elder had some fairly ridiculous ideas documented in his Natural Histories, but this one kind of takes the cake. Menstrual blood's had interesting connotations of witchcraft and power in many cultures, but Pliny voiced the apparently widespread belief in ancient Greece that it was violently poisonous. Wouldn't that be so much more convenient than having to reach for the aconite.

6. When Plutarch Did Not Approve Of Independent Lady-Emotions


"A wife should have no feelings of her own, but share her husband's seriousness and sport, his anxiety and his laughter."


This, utterly hilariously, comes from Plutarch's Conjugal Precepts, his advice for good marriages and happy conjugal bliss in the future. The solution is that women should basically be subservient as hell, having no emotions at all and just following how her husband's feeling in case she offends him. (He also recommends that women shouldn't be allowed their own friends, and should just have their husband's. Erm. Nope.)

7. When Friedrich Nietzsche Was Basically Just Friedrich Nietzsche



"Finally -- woman! One-half of mankind is weak, typically sick, changeable, inconstant -- woman needs a religion of weakness that glorifies being weak, loving, being humbled as divine."


Awww, Friedrich Nietzsche's The Will To Power contains such virulently anti-woman titbits it'd be adorable if it weren't also kind of horrifying. Nietzsche's real attitude towards women has been debated by scholars ever since, but this particular quote seems to indicate that, at this particular point in time, he was NOT feeling them.

8. When Jean-Jacques Rousseau Said Ladies Only Need To Be Taught About Men


"The whole education of women ought to be relative to men. To please them, to be useful to them, to make themselves loved and honored by them, to educate them when young, to care for them when grown, to council them, to console them, and to make life agreeable and sweet to them -- these are the duties of women at all times, and should be taught them from their infancy."


Jean-Jacques Rousseau is here discussing the ideal education for a fantasy woman he called Sophie, and every woman who's ever suffered minor flickers of irritation in her AP History class will be pleased to know she's actually just meant to learn how to please men. In every way. And nothing else. Who needs math when you could be learning how to tend to a husband's every mood?

9. When Sigmund Freud Despaired Of Grown Ladies' Sexuality


"The sexual life of adult women is a 'dark continent' for psychology."


Freud was never able to understand "what women want," and in The Question of Lay Analysis he overlaid the mysteries of female sexuality with the metaphor of utterly mysterious new lands that are hideously difficult to explore. We're not that difficult to understand, but the notion of female sexuality as weird, dangerous, foreign, and opaque is hardly the most flattering one in history.

10. When James Joyce Was A Bit Of An Idiot


"Men are governed by lines of intellect -- women: by curves of emotion."


For a literary genius, Joyce was kind of an idiot when it came to ladies. Are we really not allowed to run on the "lines" of intellect? Do our emotions govern everything we do, including mathematical problems and running countries? Can we be trusted with anything in case we have a weeping fit in the middle? I mean, come on.

More from Bustle:
Why My Mom Can't Accept My Binge Eating Disorder
I Wore Revealing Clothing Online Versus IRL & This Is What Happened
7 Small Gestures That Make People Feel Incredibly Loved
7 Badass Women You Didn't Learn About In History Class
I Had Sex Every Morning For A Week, And Here's What Happened

Also on HuffPost:

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Fine Hair Hairstyles That'll Help You Fake Fullness

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No, this isn't a hair story where we tell women with fine hair to sleep with braids and unravel them the next morning. Or to shampoo their limp locks several times a week to boost volume. Those solutions are temporary and may not even work. 


According to Matrix SoColor Stylist Nick Stenson, the key to creating the illusion of hair that's thick and full is to get a fine hair hairstyle that keeps the length above the shoulders.


"One of the biggest mistakes women with fine hair make is growing their hair out too long," he says. "Once the hair breaks the shoulders you will be able to see through it. [It'll] end up looking flat and piecey."


Instead, Stenson suggests wearing layered hairstyles like the shag and pixie or a bob with an undercut to help "create a roundness."


You'll also want to steer clear of heavy creams, pomades and oils, as these will weigh your fine strands down and make them look even more flat. "Volumizing products are your best friend," says Stenson. The hair pro recommends working in a foam like the Matrix Total Results High Amplify Volumizing Mousse because "it will expand the cuticle without the crunchy hair effect."


The best way to maintain fullness without relying on hair products or curling irons? Stenson says after showering, roll hair into pin curls and set with pins. Let the hair air-dry and shake out for extra body.


Ready for a fine hair hairstyle that suits you? Scroll down for celebrity examples of the three haircuts Stenson believes works best for your texture.


The Shag



The Bob



 


The Modern Pixie


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Sad Men Nap Sadly In This Hilarious Instagram Account

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It turns out then when they're not ruling everything from Congress to the Academy, men turn to public napping. And they don't just nap -- they do so with miserable and exhausted aplomb. 



Haha. I love this guy.

A photo posted by Miserable Men (@miserable_men) on




A new Instagram account, aptly called Miserable Men, exposes one activity that -- if the account's photos are any indication -- will instill hellish misery into the bodies and souls of many, many men: being left alone in a department store while, presumably, their S.O. gets her shop on.  


This man is wondering what he did wrong in a past life...




While this entrepreneurial fellow scores points for using the shopping cart as a footrest.



Come on #miserablemen, I thought we were going to stand our ground this year and stay home!

A photo posted by Miserable Men (@miserable_men) on




And this poor guy's wife left three hours ago and forgot to tell him.



This poor sap's just praying for it all to end.

A photo posted by Miserable Men (@miserable_men) on




The only bad thing about Miserable Men is that there have thus far been a quick 36 posts -- we eagerly await more submissions. 


H/T The Cut

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I Don’t Believe I’m Black And Beautiful

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I do not think that I am beautiful. 


Whether or not I actually am is irrelevant, but whether I think that I am has become a constant source of preoccupation for me in recent months. Not feeling beautiful worries me for one specific reason: it feels like a defeat.


All women are forced to deal with unrealistic and harmful beauty standards. All women are expected by society to base their self-worth on the way they look -- or, rather, the way in which the way they look garners them attention and approval from men. 


It's a messed-up system, but what I've always struggled with is the thing we never really want to talk about: the hierarchy of the system. For black women, the harsh realities of beauty standards are twofold: we're socialized to feel less than beautiful specifically because we are black. Why else did a black model's naturally large lips receive so much hate in comments on Instagram last week, when big lips on white women like Kylie Jenner and Angelina Jolie are praised? The things that make us black women, our big lips or big butts or kinky hair, are singled out as the main factors that we must change about ourselves in order to be more attractive, in order to be more acceptable.


Skin-lightening creams and relaxers are marketed to us, and while of course there have been important movement towards accepting who we are naturally, thanks to events like BET's Black Girls Rock! and hashtags like #flexinmycomplexion, the mainstream still doesn't seem to fully get it. 



A photo posted by Zeba Blay (@zebablay) on




Recently, a Latina friend of mine was lamenting being the darkest amongst her three sisters. I had to stretch myself to sympathize and empathize with her, understanding the cultural differences and nuances that could allow her to say "I hate being so dark" to me, despite the fact that she is five shades lighter than I am. Despite the fact that with her loose curls and much lighter skin, hers is a beauty that's far more palatable than mine. 


The journey to better self-esteem, to self-love and acceptance for the black woman, seems always to hinge on the journey of accepting those things that make us black. I struggle with this too. I've written before about the fact that in spite of having dark skin and kinky hair, I've never had a complex about those things. I've never looked at my dark skin in the mirror and wished that it was lighter. I've never prayed for straight blonde hair and blue eyes.


But black self-esteem, of course, does not hinge only on colorism. That's the dominating narrative, but it isn't the only one. It's far more complex than just the "color of your skin." Being black and a woman, society would have us all believe, means being at the very bottom of the totem pole, and we have that to grapple with as well. While dating and desirability shouldn't be the main marker we use to define beauty, it's still incredibly telling that, according to OKCupid data, black women are the least desired in the dating world compared to white women and other women of color. 


The messaging is out there. It permeates pop culture, from movies to magazines, and trickles down into the real world. As a young girl, I had examples of black beauty all around me, in my mother and my aunts, my sister, my friends. That helped. But I was always hyper-aware of the kinds of black women who were praised universally for their beauty -- women like Halle Berry and Beyonce, women with light features and button noses. And when dark women were praised in the mainstream, they were regarded largely as novelties, exotic anomalies -- the fetishization of Lupita Nyong'o and Alex Wek's dark skin is a perfect example of this.  


I want to be uninterested in beauty; I want to be uninterested in the idea that self-esteem only has to do with the way one looks. But in a society where black beauty is so invisible, so little celebrated, it's impossible not to be preoccupied with it. That's the crux. Beauty isn't and shouldn't be the scale by which we measure our self-worth and validation. But for black women, the constant bombardment of negative messaging sometimes makes it so hard to separate those things from one another. 


For me, the struggle of black beauty is not accepting that it exists in this world. I see black beauty everywhere -- I see it in my family and friends; I see the complexity and the range of black beauty in women I don't know but admire, women like First Lady Michelle Obama, or the French-Senegalese actress Aissa Maiga, or the singer SZA, or the model and activist Bethann Hardison. The struggle is very personal. I can see our collective beauty, I can celebrate it in others, but I can't celebrate it in myself.


It feels contradictory and hypocritical, to celebrate the beauty of black women but be perpetually unable to recognize my own. To be black and to be beautiful and to recognize, appreciate, and accept your own beauty is in itself a kind of revolutionary act. I believe that. That's why I feel defeated -- thinking I'm not beautiful, that I'm in fact ugly, feels like I'm giving in to all the lies that have been subliminally broadcast to me and every young black woman out there. I haven't quite figured out how to change the narrative, but maybe at least being aware of it, at least wanting to change, is a kind of tiny victory. 


 

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Banning Cars in Mid-Town Philadelphia

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I've kept a valid driver's license for years even though the last car I owned was in 1980. That car, a Pontiac Bonneville, was the size of a Philly Ducks boat. When I drove through the city's narrow streets then I had to be careful not to hit fire hydrants or street signs. When the Bonneville developed chronic mechanical problems and became too costly to maintain, I ditched it in the streets of Germantown. This was not a good move on my part. But live and learn, as they say.

Since then I have never looked back. By that I mean I've never had the urge to buy another car even though all around me people buy not one but two and three cars until, frankly, that's all there seems to be in the city: cars.

Living in the city and owning a car is as incompatible as oil and water. Rare exceptions exist of course, especially if one works in the suburbs or needs a car to visit family in the suburbs. But if 95% of your life is centered in the city and public transportation is accessible, owning a car is tantamount to "owning" a series of headaches.

Car owners I know agonize about scratches, dents, and random acts of vandalism done to their automobiles when they park them on small neighborhood streets. Insurance costs, gas costs, as well as the disappearance of parking spaces in the city doesn't make owning a car worth the rare pleasure it affords you when you take it on one of those rare trips to the shore or mountains.
When I first moved to my Riverwards home my street was a pristine sleepy hallow with plenty of parking spaces but today it has become a SUV and truck-lined nightmare. With the addition of new garages and No Parking signs in front of those garages, parking options on the street have been radically reduced. Fishtown and Port Richmond have now become like Center City when it comes to finding a place to park.

Social theorist and writer Paul Goodman proposed banning cars from midtown Manhattan. Along with his brother, Percival, in 1961 the Goodman's co-authored , Utopian Essays and Practical Proposals. In a chapter entitled, Banning cars from Manhattan, the brothers wrote, "We propose the banning of all cars from Manhattan Island, except buses, small taxis, vehicles for essential services (doctor, police, sanitation, vans, etc.), and the trucking used in light industry. Present congestion and parking are unworkable, and other proposed solutions are uneconomic, disruptive, unhealthy, nonurban, or impractical."

They add that "the cars have caused many and increasingly severe evils," and that "the situation is admittedly critical."

The Goodman brothers had the right idea although the car and traffic problems they describe have quad tripled since their plan was first proposed. When old cities like New York, Philadelphia and Boston were built it was mainly with the pedestrian in mind, not oversized automobiles. This is especially true of the city's Riverward neighborhoods, notably miniature Harold and Albert streets, two small Tom Thumb passageways that resemble Center City's Elfreth's Alley or Camac Street with its wooden cobblestones. Streets like this were not designed for large vehicles or trucks and yet lately that is what they seem to attract. Albert Street, for instance, has been discovered as a handy shortcut to larger streets, despite its ad hoc use as a makeshift playground for kids in the warmer weather.

When I first moved to the Riverwards people drove along Albert Street as if they were part of a funeral procession, but now they race through the area as if being chased by the police.

It's not only Albert Street but speed freak drivers can be found everywhere. They drive through the Port Richmond Shopping Center parking lot as if they were racing to a fire. Big SUV's with tinted windows, small trucks, and cars of all description make their way through the shopping center in a never ending procession. Pedestrian walkers there have become accustomed to jumping out of the way when met on all sides from yet another approaching vehicle. Though many drivers who crisscross the lot are mannerly, the 'zoom' through drivers take no prisoners as they race past Pep Boys, make a left angled turn near Thriftway, then swerve to the right near Radio Shack only to take another wide angle turn around parked cars and more random walkers.

Talk to any local cyclist and they will tell you how hazardous the traffic is by Aramingo as it merges into the shopping center. But it's not easier on the other side of the street, either. Cars there take shortcuts through Dunkin Donuts, race around Arby's at speeds one should only see on I-95, then pull out onto Aramingo without looking and just missing a smash up with oncoming traffic.

On Girard Avenue, careless drivers yakking on cell phones pull ahead of buses in quick race car spurts, causing the bus drivers to slam on their breaks as passengers jolt forward like stuffed dolls. The bus drivers in turn curse or blast their horns. Mega trucks with tires the size of small cities with those awful blackened out windows (why aren't these windows illegal?) tear up more tiny back streets like Attila the Hun bearing down on a small animal.

Will America's love affair with the car end? Today, the situation is worse than it was in the early 60s when the Goodman brothers wrote about banning cars from downtown Manhattan. People today have two and three cars, causing more crowding and congestion.

In California, the car situation has reached epidemic proportions. My sister, who moved there from Roxborough two years ago, said that it takes almost two hours to travel 17 miles on the sluggish freeways. The so called Golden State, she said, is a really a tarnished, overcrowded mess.
Today the car has become a kind of home away from home. You see people sitting in parked cars at all hours of the day or night working their I Phones, texting or just sitting behind the wheel in a kind of automotive trance. The scene does not change at night because you'll see these same parked cars only with their headlights on. These parked cars pop up in the oddest places: in fast food parking lots, on alley streets off of Belgrade Street or Lehigh Avenue or idling like thieves in the night under overpasses and railroad tracks. What are all these drivers waiting or watching for?

In 1945, the writer Henry Miller of Tropic of Cancer fame wrote a piece for The Rocky Mountain Review entitled, Automotive Passacaglia, in which he describes the ups and downs of a cross country road trip. "The automobile," Miller writes, "was invented in order for us to learn how to be patient and gentle with one another....We American people have always been kind to animals and other creatures of the earth. It's in our blood. Be kind to your Buick or your Studebaker. God gave us these blessings in order to enrich the automobile manufacturers. He did not mean for us to lose our tempers easily. .."

While Miller's view of cars seems dated and overly romantic, we must return to the Goodman brothers for the ugly truth. There are too many cars in the cities and there needs to be a solution, but the solution does not lie in buying additional cars for family members, but cutting back on automotive consumption altogether.


"The advantages of our proposal are very great," the Goodman brothers wrote. "Important and immediate are the relief of tension, noise, and anxiety; purifying the air of fumes and smog; alleviating the crowding of pedestrians; providing safety for children. Subsequently, and not less importantly, we gain the opportunity of diversifying the gridiron, beautifying the city, and designing a more integrated community life."

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Piers Morgan, Expert On Women's Bodies, Just Needs To Stop. Now.

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TV personality and Daily Mail editor-at-large Piers Morgan says that 57-year-old Madonna is too old to be "gyrating semi-naked on stage in fishnet stockings and bondage gear." And really, he only has her 15-year-old son's best interests at heart when he wrote that Madonna's behaviors "would be fairly toe-curling for any son to witness if his mother were still a spring chicken." And he added, "But Madonna’s at an age when such behavior strays from the realm of ‘mum being a bit naughty’ to ‘mum being an excruciating bloody nightmare.’"


Spring chicken? Bloody nightmare? These words actually sprung from the quill pen of a man who just a day earlier embraced Donald Trump after previously disavowing him, leaving us to wonder: Is Trump contagious, a Zika virus for sexist, ageist behavior?


Truth is, Morgan has had Madonna in his sights for quite a while now. In 2012, he banned her from his show. MTV says that Morgan has felt slighted over the years by Madonna, especially during his days as an editor at England’s Daily Mirror newspaper where she gave scoops to his rivals.


And so now he's at it again, suggesting that she is too old to be a sex symbol and suggesting that she quietly just go off and disappear someplace to save her son from having to bear the humiliations she bestows upon him.


Morgan wrote, "If Madonna wants her son to enjoy being with her again then I suggest she puts him and HIS interests before her ego and ruthless desperation to avert the onslaught of old age. You’re 57, luv, start acting like it."


But unfortunately for Morgan, Madonna fans showed up in force on Twitter to defend the superstar in matters of motherhood and pretty much everything else.


Here's his tweet:


 


 






And here are some of the reactions:



















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3 Things No One Tells You About Becoming a Model

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I get so many questions from models who are just starting out that want advice about how to build their careers. As much as I love corresponding with everyone who reaches out, it's hard to distill guidance into a 3-sentence message while typing with only your thumbs. So I've decided to put some of my perspective on the modeling world out there via my blog!

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Photo by Chris Carroll Photography.

There's a lot of information out there for new models, but there are some things that no one is really going to tell you when you first get signed with an agency. Here are the 3 things no one tells you about becoming a model that you should probably know when you're first starting out.

1. Becoming a Model is Expensive

One thing that very few people are really up front about is how expensive it can be to launch your modeling career. This can vary depending on how aggressive you want to be, but every single working model out there has had to do a certain minimum number of test shoots to build their portfolio when they were first starting out.

A test shoot can set you back anywhere from $200 to upwards of $1,000. For a shoot with a reliable photographer, good styling, and hmu, I would plan on paying $700 - 1,000. There are free and deeply discounted tests out there, but the ability of agencies to cash in those favors is limited, so don't count on it! Plus, you get what you pay for. Free shoots are great for you to practice and grow in your craft as a model, but if you're relying on free or deeply discounted shoots to build your book, you probably aren't going to wind up with a first-rate portfolio. Some agencies float these up-front costs for you and pay themselves back as you begin to get work, others give you the option to pay your own way up front. Never pay a chunk of money to an agency upon signing, these agencies are scams. But paying the costs of your own test shoots--whether you pay up front or through your agency account over time--is the norm.

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Photo from my first test shoot with photographer and Editor-in-Chief of Plus Model Magazine Madeline Jones.

When girls approach me about beginning their modeling career, I tell them to save up at least $10,000 that they don't need. Not as in tapping your emergency fund, but as in you could drive down the freeway throwing that money out of the car window and just enjoy it and not have the loss affect your financial situation. Because in all honesty, you might have more fun and be more successful with that than if you pour money into test shoots and still find you don't get work. Nothing worth having is free, and I'm certainly not here to discourage anyone,but if you can't afford to invest in your portfolio, your career is over before it's started.

2. The Work of a Model is Not (Usually) Creative

People rave about their love of fashion, and love to espouse their views on styling and their personal aesthetic. For shoots that I've done to build my brand on social media and other fun, "side hustle" collabs I've done with photographers, we've gotten down, dirty, and creative. I've gotten to express myself and put my imprint on the styling. But the paid work you get as a model is not usually OVERTLY creative.

As a model, it's always your job to create through mood, pose, and the overall energy you bring to the clothing and the set you're working on. But the crew and the creative team behind the shoot are often getting paid to deliver reliable work that has mass appeal--which means that you're not going to get the cool, crazy stuff you see people doing on ANTM or have conversations with the Creative Director about your vision. You're more than likely cycling through 50-100 variations of the same shirt, with the same hair and makeup, against a white or solid-colored background, with a photographer shooting from the same spot, same lighting set-up, on a tripod so that the resulting shots are fantastic and work for brands to market their apparel through e-commerce and digital channels.

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Here are some shots of my from my first ecomm shoot with Foxcroft Collection.

There is NOTHING wrong with this because hey, this is the reality of running a company that is based on selling garments! I love these shoots because for me, as a model, those constraints force me to create in a way that is subtle and controlled, so it helps me grow in my craft in quiet ways. But don't enter into modeling because you're excited to get covered in gold paint or pose like Coco Rocha, because those bookings will be few and far between.

3. Most Models Aren't Actually Models

Now, this may sound counterintuitive, but the truth is that most models (and by that I mean people that have agency representation and appear somewhere on an agency board) don't actually pay all of their bills through modeling.

There are MANY models slash actors, photographers, graphic artists, makeup artists, and other types of creative professionals. There are lots of people waiting tables or working entry-level sales and retails jobs. There are writers, freelancers, real estate professionals, trust fund babies, and kept men or women who have their living expenses covered in other ways but also model.

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A thumbnail from my post "How to Stop Hating Sunday Nights."


I'm not knocking any of the variants of the "model slash" professionals that I cite above--everyone has to get by somehow! I've been very transparent about my transition into modeling from my consulting career over the years (check out posts like this one for more on that) and the fact that I keep some hours doing communications work in D.C. while I grow into my modeling career. So before you begin a career in modeling, make sure that your expectations are calibrated accordingly, and that you're set up to take care of yourself financially before you begin.

I'm the first person to advocate for anyone taking a leap and going after their dreams. Just don't do it blindly! And don't do it in a way that drains you mentally, emotionally, or financially. If you bankrupt yourself in the pursuit of your dreams, you have nothing left to give the world. So practicing excellent self-care through saving money, doing your research, and asking lots of questions are all key to your success in any career transition. Good luck!

DISCLAIMER: None of the comments above can be directed to or attributed to any individuals. These views don't reflect the views of any of the agencies and talent management firms that represent me or brands that I've worked with. This is just my two cents as someone who's been at this for a little while!

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Who's Your Celebrity Study Buddy? Take the Quiz

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2016-03-02-1456941639-4908901-blog_grammardayMVP.jpgNational Grammar Day (March 4) is not just for nerds and editors! In fact, some of your favorite celebrities may be grammar gods and goddesses. Take Conan O'Brien, for example, who averages only one mistake every 476 words he tweets!

To highlight the importance of good writing, Grammarly, the team behind the popular writing app, is recognizing the celebrities whose "social media slinging skills match their star power." Grammarly ranked the top 50 most-followed celebrities on Twitter by their spelling, grammar and punctuation.

It turns out, some of the best grammar role models are talk show host comedians. While Conan ranks #1, Ellen DeGeneres and Jimmy Fallon fall in the top five. Other top fivers are Bill Gates and President Obama.

Additional insights from Grammarly's study:

  • The top three most grammatically correct celebrities attended Harvard.

  • Two of the top 10 celebrities speak English as a second language. Shakira's native language is Spanish, and Narendra Modi's is Hindi.

  • In general, the older the celeb, the better he or she writes, although Daniel Tosh's ranking made the 40-49 age group the exception.



Does Grammar Matter?

You may ask, in this age of texting and tweeting, whether grammar matters. We write, tweet and Facebook (if you will allow the verbification) from our phones. Shouldn't typos be expected?

Michael Mager, Grammarly Marketing Analyst, had this to say,
"Language is fluid. Although the rules, not to mention our means of communication, may change over time, there will always be a need for clarity. Grammar helps us make ourselves understood."


This writer--who took the Grammarly Celebrity Grammar Buddy Quiz and got paired with Ellen DeGeneres--would add that anything you write reflects on you and your personal brand--whether you work for a company, work for yourself or attend school. Poor spelling and grammar make your work look sloppy, calling into question the veracity and quality of your content.

When you make grammar goofs, at best, you make a sloppy impression; at worst, your grammar goof causes readers to misinterpret or misunderstand what you have to say.

Poor grammar in an email or note will likely make the recipient wonder how much you care about communicating with him or her.

In a blog post, in a business proposal or report, on a website, in an article or in a book, grammatical errors will cause readers to question whether there are mistakes in your research, data, knowledge and reasoning. Then, isn't it worth the time to learn the rules of grammar and proofread your work (or find someone who can do that for you)?

Who's your celebrity grammar buddy? Take the Grammarly quiz and find out:




This infographic from Grammarly provides additional insights:

Grammarly Celebrity Writing MVPs for Grammar Day
And, by the way, don't attempt to correct Conan on his grammar unless you're pretty darn sure of yourself. This video shows what can happen.



Share your favorite personal or celebrity Grammar goof, or your takeaways from the quiz and study.

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Raw Edge/The Guerilla Fashion Event on Everyone's Lips During LFW

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At the height of London Fashion Week, 2016, and in its celebration, RAW EDGE staged its second fashion event.

Launched by Tom Clulee and Dom Capel in September 2015, the not-for-profit event, supported by Sebastian Professional, was initiated to showcase graduate and emerging talent from all areas of the creative, media and fashion industries.

Its aim, simply, is to support and promote professional talent in what its founders are calling the ideal stepping stone between collaborators and industry professionals who are willing to encourage and work with emerging talent.


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One of those to exhibit at the event was fashion designer Leanne Clulee, showcasing her 'Fifty Centimetre Rule' collection.

This undertaking follows Clulee's ongoing examination of fashion's role and responsibility in helping to achieve a more sustainable society, when a sea of over-production and waste is dominating the market and damaging the environment.

Ultimately, she endeavours, with her niche products that deviate from current fashion practices, to reawaken us to the value of fabric, form and fit.

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Tara Tarapetian was another of the designers exhibiting at the event with her no . man . ic is transient. collection.

She draws her inspiration from J.D. Salinger's The Catcher In The Rye. And in centring on Holden Caulfield - the rebellious 'anti-hero' who resents and rejects the adult world - Tarapetian's garments confront the notion of global exploration and embracing one's nomadic self, instead of just accepting the norm.

She's done this by developing an urban camouflage of subtle tones to reinforce undulating geometric surface patterns with 3D structures, which are accompanied by natural, luxurious fabrics, and ethically cultivated Amazonian Pirarucu fish leather.

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The overall impression of the event from its contributors and attendees alike is that Tom Clulee and Dom Capel are exposing emerging talent during London Fashion Week in a way that's previously been inaccessible to such aspiring industry professionals.

In what is now being recognised as the guerrilla platform amid LFW, the pair will continue in their journey to bridge the gap between the fringes and the frontline. And what's absolutely certain is that RAW EDGE is gaining unstoppable momentum.

Watch this space for live RAW EDGE highlights, and live interviews from the founders and collaborators.


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Remember The Boy At The All-Girls Camp In ‘Parent Trap’? He's Lindsay Lohan’s Brother.

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Ask any kid who grew up in the '90s how to do the "Parent Trap" handshake, and they'll immediately extend a hand, bump butts and side-jump with nostalgic glee. 


But even the most die-hard of "Parent Trap" fans might not remember that the 1998 kids classic was basically a Lohan family affair. Apart from Lindsay playing the dual starring roles, her mom Dina and siblings, brothers Cody and Michael and sister Ali, all made cameos. Michael, however, had the most memorable role of the four, playing the only boy at the all girls Camp Walden. 


No one knows how he ended up at the summer camp (c'mon, Dina) but he desperately tries to get home. 





Flash-forward 18 years, and Michael C. Lohan is a 28-year-old real estate developer whose Twitter bio wants us to know that "Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be." ~deep~.


No seriously, the oldest Lohan brother is all grown up and looking gewd. In between "Parent Trap" and his current gig, Michael made appearances in the family's reality show "Living Lohan" on E!, played college lacrosse and somehow developed into an adult. 


Check out some photos from his Instagram below: 



This little guy right here! #nationaldogday #brooklyn

A photo posted by Michael Lohan (@mikelohan) on





Happy birthday little baby Thunder buddies for life ✊

A photo posted by Michael Lohan (@mikelohan) on





Happy birthday to the one with the biggest heart of them all!! @dinalohan

A photo posted by Michael Lohan (@mikelohan) on




In the wise words of evil fiancée Meredith Blake:





Amen  .


h/t: MTV 

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This Is The Type Of Underwear Most Men Really Wear

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With classic tighty whities, boxers, boxer briefs, long johns, men's thongs -- even men's lingerie -- it seems like there are more types of men's underwear now than ever before.


But how does a guy feel about it all (or does he just go commando and forget about it?) and which one, out of all those types, makes a guy feel the most comfortable in his own skin?


We partnered with AskMen (who wrote about what women think on this subject) and polled 650 guys to find out. Here's what we learned:



The survey was conducted on AskMen.com from Feb. 9–10, 2016. A total of 650 men were surveyed. The age breakdown was as follows: Under 18 (2 percent), between 18-24 (22 percent), between 25-34 (38 percent), between 35-44 (16 percent), between 45-64 (19 percent) and over 65 (3 percent).


More from AskMen.com:


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Meet the Oldest Woman to Appear in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

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When you think of the bikini-wearing models who appear in the pages of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, what descriptions come to mind? Early twenties or younger? Size 2? Skinny? Perfectly toned?

Nicola Griffin is none of those things. Yet at 56, the curvy silver-haired British model became the oldest woman to appear in the pages of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Griffin along with other curvy models Ashley Graham (one of this year's Sports Illustrated cover girls) and Philomena Kwao appear in the issue in swimsuitsforall's swimwear ads which marked the launch of their #SwimSexy campaign.

The revolutionary campaign's mission is to promote body positivity by proving that women of all ages, shapes and sizes can be sexy. Women are encouraged to post photos of themselves in bathing suits tagging #swimsexy on social media. "I have never felt sexier at 56," says Griffin. "Society has made women believe they need to be young and thin to be sexy--and this is not true at all. You can be sexy at any age and shape. I hope that more brands realize this and take action."

Griffin, who began modeling three years ago, shared her thoughts with Parade.com. Click here to read her interview.


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Photo courtesy of swimsuitsforall/Used with permission

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John Stamos Should Probably Stop Harassing The Olsen Twins To Appear On 'Fuller House'

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John Stamos is still finding it very difficult to reconcile the fact that that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have moved on. 


It's a state of disbelief that has been ongoing since he announced nearly a year ago that Netflix would be rebooting the beloved sitcom. Naturally, the question as to whether the Olsens would reprise their shared role of Michelle Tanner took center stage. 


Each time an original cast member signed on to return, pressure for the Olsens to follow suit grew, despite the fact it was more than apparent they had no interest returning to a role they were thrust into while they were still wearing diapers. Stamos, who is one of the producers on the project, went as far as to publicly call "bullshit" on the twins when they claimed they hadn't been approached about the new series.


Like any good sitcom, they appeared to kiss and make up, but it wasn't enough to convince the sisters to return. By March of this year, executive producer Robert L. Boyett officially confirmed that the Olsens would not be participating and noted that "they are still very much considered family."


Family that apparently just can't get over the fact they didn't come to the reunion:


 










Now, the news that "Fuller House" was renewed for a second season brings a whole new round of speculation surrounding the sisters' possible involvement. 


On Thursday, Stamos told "Today" show co-host Matt Lauer he has a "good feeling" they might return for Season 2. 


"They're totally welcome," the actor told Lauer, when asked about the possibility of their return. "I was going to see Ashley last night and beg her to be on the show. We would love to have them. I know everyone would love to see them. I have a good feeling about it."





Seriously? He's going to "beg" her? 


For anyone who isn't already aware, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen made their acting debut on "Full House" at 6 months old. Their shared role would ultimately catapult them to fame and allow them to start Dualstar Entertainment, which is estimated to be worth billions. Today, they've retired from acting and the 29-year-olds run an incredibly successful fashion empire. Given their backgrounds, it shouldn't surprise anyone that it was no easy feat to gain the respect of the fashion industry. It also shouldn't be difficult to understand that they've moved beyond the sitcom and have no reason to indulge former cast members or fans in their hunger for nostalgia. 


There seems to be an idea that the twins somehow owe it to show to return, which is not only ridiculous it's unfair -- and it's ongoing. Granted, Lauer was the one to bring them up again, but Stamos' claim he has a "good feeling" they'll appear in Season 2 only adds to the pressure on the Olsens and fuels the the endless cycle of "will they or won't they" reports. 


If Mary-Kate and Ashley want to cameo next season, then great -- but harassing them into it probably isn't the best game plan. 

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